Need advice

[TBNW]

Hello I’m 22 with 2 children already and currently 9 weeks pregnant… I am not currently financially in a position to have another child but thinking of open adoption…. I don’t do drugs/alcohol and I don’t have ss involved I’m just wondering wether open adoption is the best thing?

[KatKat10]

To be quite honest that is something you will need to decide for yourself and what is best for your baby. Whatever you decide will not be easy, but do seek advice before making any decisions.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear TBNW,

Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.

You say you are a 22 year old mother of 2, and that you are currently 9 weeks pregnant. You say that your are not financially in a position to have another child, and that you are considering open adoption. You do not currently have any children's services involvement and would like to know whether this is the best thing.

Firstly, I would like to clarify that open adoption is a broad term that refers to an adopted child’s birth family staying in touch with them. It covers a range of potential arrangements in which birth parents or other family members may stay in touch. Open adoption is not defined in law. Birth parents do not have a right to contact following adoption. This also applies to the wider birth family. During the adoption process, the adoption agency and the court should consider whether continuing contact is in the child’s best interests. In practice, the court is unlikely to order that contact should continue unless the adoptive parents agree. When a child is adopted, the birth parent no longer has parental responsibility for them, and the child is legally considered part of the adoptive parents family.

If you would like to place your child for adoption, the first step is the contact your local authority, who will be able to advise you on the process and next steps, including where your baby may live once it is born and how it is decided that adoption is the best option. A social worker will do something called a pre-birth assessment, and will advise you of your options - this may be supporting your baby to remain in your care if this is what you decide you want; permanent placement within the child's wider family or placement for adoption.

The decision to relinquish your child is one only you can make - I would advise that you consider that adoption is often considered to be a significant and permanent arrangement. Parents may choose to relinquish a child for many and complex reasons. You mention that you are concerned about finances and that this is influencing your decision - if this is the main factor - there is support out there for you. As I said, it is important you contact your local children's services, who can assess your support needs, and help put this support in place if you want it.

Some organisations that you may find it helpful to speak to about practical and financial support that could be available to you are Citizens Advice on 0800 144 8848; Turn2Us is a national charity providing practical help to people who are struggling financially on 0808 802 2000 and Gingerbread who provide information to help single parents support themselves and their family on 0808 802 0925.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.