School referred my child to children services

[Happyme]

Long weekend, Friday the school had interviewed me about my lil one writing that she wants to kill one of her school friends and herself who bullies her, mentioned sex and *****, also said in the past that I have tried to stab her with a knife and have bitten her,

She recently changed to this school last September. She was sexually assaulted by a boy in her class winter 2012, now she is being bullied by other children. The school says she is not being bullied but does not know how to have friendships as she has emotional outburst.

My lil one is 7 very expressive, loves attention and knows some of her rights, also lies and exsadirates a lot. I have not physically assaulted but yes do shout at times, too much. My lil is very hyper, friends have mentioned this and are tired in her compny.

Love my honey so much, so scared social services will take her away due to the lies and my shouting. Can any one tell me what to expect now the weekend is over I'm anxiously waiting thier call.

I have cancelled my authority for my daughter to see the counsellor at the school. I will be booking an appointment with my doctor to see if she has ADHD. I say happyme as my user name, that is done as I'm the total reverse. Don't want to lose my honey!

[MarkEd]

See my posts in getting your voice heard for some advice on how to be with CS. Here's more:
Stay cool as you can, record everything, get an advocate. Till then, get someone to support, if possible: a calm witness.
Prepare. Breathe. Avoid caffeine, and other stimulants. Sleep well. Make notes. Clarify. Be prepared to repeat yourself more than you ever thought possible. If they take notes, ask to see them, read them, get a copy. Keep an orderly file of any documents.
Be truthful if you can - at least be consistent. Where you can, actively make suggestions of how things might be resolved.
If you can handle it, read the chapters in 'Working Together to safeguard children' (http://media.education.gov.uk/assets/fi ... gether.pdf) that are relevant for you, because that is what they are working to - but only since this April... They may not be fully on track with it.

Hope this helps.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello Happyme

Welcome to the discussion forum. My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group.

I’m sorry to hear how worried you are about your daughter and the possible involvement of Children’s Services.

You say that your daughter’s school interviewed you on Friday. I wonder if they explicitly said they would be contacting Children’s Services? Other than in an emergency, any referral to Children’s Services should be made with a parents’ full knowledge and, if possible, consent.

When Children’s Services do receive a referral about a child, they must make a decision about how to proceed within one working day.

They may decide that it is not necessary for them to be involved. In this case, I would expect them to write to you notifying you of the referral and their decision and signposting you to any relevant services if appropriate.

Alternatively, Children’s Services may decide that your daughter does require their input because she is in need of support services or is at risk of significant harm. Depending on this decision, Children’s Services will then contact you to carry out an assessment for family support services or to carry out an assessment under child protection procedures.

Children’s Services do not have the authority to remove your daughter from your care unless you give your consent or a court gives them permission. They would only take this step if they had concerns that your daughter was at risk of immediate significant harm. If this was the case, I would have expected them to take immediate action over the weekend, which clearly they have not.

In terms of preparing for any discussion/ meeting with Children’s Services, I would advise that you give some careful consideration to the issues that you and your daughter are facing including what steps you have taken/ are taking to try to improve things and what additional support you feel would assist.

MarkEd has given you some good advice about remaining calm, asking for clarification, making notes etc. He has also included a useful link to "Working Together to Safeguard Children"- the Government guidance that social workers must follow when investigating child protection ocncerns.

I would also add that you emphasise from the outset of any discussion that your daughter is your priority. Make it clear that you are willing to work co-operatively with professionals in the best interests of your daughter

Finally, I would advise that you consider contacting Children’s Services proactively rather than waiting to hear from them. This will give you an opportunity to be clear about your own position, emphasise your willingness to engage with professionals as necessary and state your own views about the difficulties your daughter is facing and what support would help. You can also then request that Children’s Services are clear with you about the information they have received, what action they intend to take, what this will involve and the timescales for this.

I hope this is a helpful start Happyme. Do let us know how things go and if there is anything else we can help with. You are also welcome to call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 8010366.

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser