Historic Sexual Abuse, Criminal Acquittal, FFH guily.

[HopelesslyLost]

Hi,
First post, so please be gentle with me

I'll try to write this in a way that doesn't jigsaw me in anyway, however, it's very complicated, so I'll do my best.

I was arrested back in 2012 for rape of an under 13 year old, my daughter who was 10 at the time had said I had done things to her when she was 6. I had left her mum (wife #1) back at the end of 2008. A long bitter divorce took until the end of 2011 to finalise, the allegations were made just before I filed for a Child Arrangements Order for my 2 children I had with her.
I was questioned then released with NFA. Closed that door and never looked back.

In Mar 2019 the case was reopened by my daughter who was at the time 17. This was at the time when I was going for a CAO with wife #2 for the 2 children I had with her. We split in 2018 but cohabited for a while until she left with the children Jan 2019. The reopened allegations killed my CAO stone dead. I had managed to get an occupation order in Feb 2019 which worked for a while, until SS with the police removed the children from my care, this is when I found out that the case had been reopened. I later found out that wife #2 had been messaging wife #1 and it was those conversations that made my daughter reopen the case.

I met my current partner Jun 2019 and I told her from the offset what was going on as the investigation was still ongoing.
We had an accident, and finished up having a daughter together in May 2020. Disabled, but absolutely amazing bundle of joy.

So fast forward to Nov 2020, and the CPS decide to charge me. By the end of 2020 SS were all over us, and threatened that if I didn't leave they would take our daughter. I left and spent a few days with a friend over the new year. After speaking to my solicitor, he said there was nothing much SS could do without a court order so told me to move back home. I did.

SS went for an interim court order, but was rejected by the court as the judge said until I was proven guilty in a court of law I was innocent.

First criminal trial Oct 2021 resulted in a hung jury. They had made the indictments so difficult to understand the jury had to ask the judge for directions 3 times.

Second criminal trial in Apr 2022 resulted in a unanimous acquittal.

Not happy with this, SS pushed for a fact finding hearing in the family court, and unfortunately, the judge did make some findings. I've been told that I have to accept the findings even though I do not agree with them. I was absolutely flabbergasted. I'm completely innocent.

So immediately, I had to leave my home and became homeless, I was self employed working from home, so lost my job too. 6 weeks on, and I'm still living and sleeping in my car, but do manage to book the odd hotel room and stay at a friends to have a shower etc.

Myself and my partner were advised by our solicitors that we had to end our loving relationship, to not contact each other in any way via messages, or to see each other. This of course has now meant that my partner has to take care of a disabled toddler requiring around the clock care on her own.
The family court has not made any orders, this is just what we've been advised to do.

A risk assessment is to be made by the Lucy Faithful Foundation some time Mar 2023 and a further directions hearing is booked for Apr.
I've been told by my barrister that I am unlikely to get a low risk assessment if I refuse to admit responsibility for what I'm meant to have done. I said to her that I will never ever accept responsibility for something I haven't done and I don't see why I should.
My partner has to be risk assessed too, but as she is a child care professional with many years of experience in safeguarding, roll play, and signs to look out for etc she should be fine.

So I guess the question is, what should I expect from the risk assessment? Although I will never admit responsibility for things I'm meant to have done, I have had 4 other children through the years with no issues, I've also worked with children within the Red Cross, teaching them first aid, taking them out on the ambulances etc, no issues there either.

Also, what is the realistic possibility that we can live as a family again?
I love my partner so much, and she does me too, and of course our little princess.

Thanks for your help in advance, and sorry for the long post.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear HopelesslyLost

Welcome to the Family Rights Group parents’ discussion forum and thank you for post.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to the points you have raised in your post.

Firstly, I see from your post that you were acquitted from the criminal court in respect of historical abuse allegations made against you by your daughter. You have been in two relationships since separating from this daughter’s mother. There are two more daughters from the first of the two relationship and this post relates to your next relationship which has produced another daughter who is a toddler with some disabilities.

Secondly, because of the sexual abuse allegations made against you, children’s services (the new name for social services) became involved with your family and there are now ongoing care proceedings. Despite your acquittal in the criminal court, the family court carried out a fact-finding hearing which has resulted in findings being made against you by the judge.

You have stated that you do not feel able to accept the findings made against you, as you feel very strongly that you did nothing wrong. I believe your solicitor would have explained that not accepting the findings mean that children’s services will be of the view that you will be a risk to be around your baby daughter. This is because it will be viewed that you cannot change or work on the issue if you do not accept it.

I think it may be helpful for you to understand that the test in the criminal court is beyond reasonable doubt but in civil cases it is based on the balance of probability. This means that something is more likely to have happened than not and the judge’s findings might relate to this balance of probability based on the evidence the judge saw and heard.

Another important point that might be of concern to children’s services is that research shows that children with disabilities are more likely to suffer abuse.

Your barrister knows a lot more about your case and my advice is that you should carefully consider the advice she is offering. I think part of the risk assessment with Lucy Faithfull will be to consider the findings. As far as your partner is concerned, it will be to assess if she can be a protective parent to your child or put her at risk if she is not able to understand the concerns adequately.

You were investigated by the police for alleged sex abuse, and this would normally be recorded, it may be this was not apparent on any DBS checks you had prior to working with children or, the organisations you worked with had a policy which allowed you to work with children.

You ask whether you and your partner will be able to live together as a family again. Whilst I understand that this is what you both want, a lot will depend on the risk assessments being carried. I cannot give you an answer as it will be for the court to decide how best your daughter’s welfare will be secured. This is the first concern for the judge in care cases. You may find it helpful to read the information here HERE about care proceedings. If you and your partner have not put forward any family member or friend to be assessed as possible carers for your daughter, you should discuss this with your solicitor. Here is information relating to family group conferences

Should you wish to speak to one of our experienced advisers, do please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie