Seeing my children

[User224]

Hi FRG,

Just looking for some advise really,

Myself and my partner split up in June and since we have had our second child, my first daughter.

She is now nearly 3 months old and I've only spent 2 days with her despite only living 15 MIles away, my ex partner is pretty much refusing to give me more time with her.

I live alone and have no support group around me, she has her entire family assisting her with the kids at the moment, I get to see our first born <my son> every alternate weekend and she is yet to discuss with me a suitable plan to see my daughter, she is growing up not knowing who her father is.

I also have concerns that's she is hiding the fact she is seeing someone new, and that this new partner is seeing my own children more than I am, it breaks my heart as all I want it to spend my time with my kids.

She refuses to.communicate with me at all and won't come to an agreement that works for both of us, right now the situation is designed to suit her needs and none of mine, I have threatened with courts and social services but this doesn't change anything, I have looked into mediation and its not that it's expensive I just don't have the extra money as I'm currently paying her £300 on a monthly basis to help her with the kids.

She is also due to return to work and she has not discussed with me what nursery my daughter is attending, I feel as tho she is not wanting to communicate anything with me and is making choices on her own with her family and excluding me although I have the same authority as her being named as the father on both my kids birth certificates, I feel as tho I am disregarded and it sucks.

What course of action would be best to take amd what are the ances of me getting a more fair agreement that is suitable for both of us?

For context my son is 18 months old and my daughter is
3 months old.

Thanks
A desperate dad just wanting yo see his kids

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear User244

Thank you for your further post regarding your current situation.
It appears that your position now is a little different to your first post in August 2021 in respect of contact with your son. There are now difficulties in seeing your daughter who is now 3 months old although you have some contact with your son you have seen your daughter on only a few occasions which must be very distressing for you. Please look again at my earlier post and the links there.

Now you and your partner have separated, and this is causing additional difficulties because she will not communicate with you. Your daughter is still very young, and this may be part of the reason your ex-partner is unwilling to agree contact. There is also the issue of the police investigation and children’s services involvement when you last posted. If these investigations are incomplete or children’s services is awaiting the outcome of the police investigation, they may have advised your daughter’s mother against unsupervised contact.
If the only issue is your ex-partner not wishing to allow contact, then if children’s services are still involved, you can speak to them about arrangements being agreed for contact. However, they cannot force your ex-partner to allow contact.

In your post you state that you have threatened with children’s services and the court, but this has not led to any movement with your children’s mother. As you have parental responsibility for your children you can have information regarding your children health and education unless this is not in the children's best interests. If you have threatened children’s services, I assume they are no longer involved with your ex-partner and the children, If possible, can you identify a friend or family member even on your ex-partner’s side who would be willing to assist with contact
It might be helpful to find a separating parents’ course in your local area which you could attend, this does not have to be together. You could put your proposals for contact in writing to your children’s mother to see if an agreement can be reached.

If no agreement can be reached, then you will need to consider making an application to the court. You can contact Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 for advice on starting a private law application for a child arrangement order for contact.

I hope this is helpful

Best wishes

Suzie