Social workers trying to force contact with child's father

[Valedictorian88]

Hi everyone,

I just wondered if anyone has any insight on this situation that I am in because it's highly unusual and one I've never heard before.

To cut a long story short, the child's father has been charged for DV and is on bail atm and is also under investigation for child abuse. Because of this a child protection conference/plan was done and social workers continue to come down etc...

However, their primary concern above anything is for the father to have complete unsupervised contact with the child despite my objections/the child's objections/other family members objections and them promising that contact wouldn't be facilitated until after the police investigations.

They are saying that my reluctance for my child to have unsupervised contact with his dad is grounds for "emotional abuse" and want him to pick the child up from school every friday and have him completley unsupervised over the weekends and want this to be facilited by one of the father's friends who will pick up the child and take him to the father's house (probably to bypass the restraining order in place).

Usually social workers want to restrict access to a child, not try and enforce access in this way. I'm very confused and frightened for my child's safety/my safety.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Valedictorian88,

Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.

You say that your child's father has been charged with a DV-related offence and is on bail. He is under investigation for child abuse and your child is on a child protection plan.

You say that children's services are in support of your child having unsupervised contact with their father. You say that you do not agree with this and that your child also objects. Children's services would like your child to have unsupervised contact over the weekends and for them to be picked up by the father's friend from school on Friday. You say there is a restraining order in place. You have been told that your reluctance for you child to have unsupervised contact with his dad is grounds for emotional abuse. You say that you are confused about this approach and that you are worried about your child's safety.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling worried and this is understandable given the situation your have described.

You child's father has been charged with a DV related offence and is under investigation for child abuse. Both these things would indicate that he may pose a risk to your son, and it is not unreasonable for you or your children's services to endorse a plan of supervised contact, at least initially. Does your child's father have parental responsibility for him? If he does, this may give him some legal rights and responsibilities, but it is important to remember that there is no 'right' to contact. Contact must always be in the child's best interests.

You say that children's services have stated that restricting contact may amount to emotional abuse to your child. There is a presumption that a child benefits from a relationship with both parents in the absence of any safeguarding concerns. Given the concerns you have described about your child's father, it is easy to see you think supervised contact would be unsafe.

You may wish to exercise your parental responsibility to stop or restrict contact between your child and his father if you think this is necessary to safeguard him. In response, your child's father may seek legal advice and make an application to the courts for contact. You may therefore find it helpful to seek legal advice yourself - you can search for a solicitor on the Law Society Website. Alternatively, you can seek advice on private law matters from Rights of Women on 020 7251 6577 and Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480.

I would advise that you write to the social worker with your concerns and request a response in writing that outlines their reasons for supporting unsupervised contact. You can ask what steps have been taken to risk assess your child's father and to seek the views and wishes of your child. You mention that your child has expressed objection - he may benefit from the support of an advocate to communicate what he thinks on the matter. You can contact the National Youth Advocacy Service for this.

If you are not satisfied with children's services response, you may wish to ask for a meeting with the team manager, or to make a formal complaint regarding the local authority's approach.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.