18months and still waiting for a decision from CPS iioc

[Xr2222]

Hi all, I've posted a couple of times over the last 18months. Im under investigation for viewing iioc sadly. A costly mistake.
I've lost my marriage to my wife after 6years together, I've lost my job my family home, and my two children aged 1 and 4 who have moved up north with Their mum because of the situation. I've had to buy myself a flat, and start my life completely over again after having everything I ever wanted. I've totally messed up.
I got involved in viewing porn, and it led me down a dark path so subtly. I'm not a child pervert or have any interest in that horrible thing. But I did view images over the three categories.over a six month duration when I got caught up in a chat room online where people were posting literally anything and everything.
I have no idea what will happen, what charge I will get , or how severe It will be. I'm assuming I will go on the register and that will affect how I see my children and it being supervised probably in a centre, and how I can get a job. It's all very stressful and I'm just slowly giving up hope of a normal life ever again. I'm middke aged, and like I say I had such a happy family life. And my ex wife divided me fairly quickly after it all kicked off and the police came to my home to arrest me.
I'm utterly heart broken that my relationships to my children have been several affected. I see them every 6 weeks for 2 hours. That's all my ex wife feels she can handle as she has to supervise rhe visits at rhe moment, and I have to go with another adult too at her request.
I literally dont know how to ever move in with my life. I feel crushed behind belief that this stupid mistake has cost so so much, that I cannot get back any of it.
I do hear of wives who do support their partners when this happens, but her family were quick to shut down Any chance of me staying in the family and urged my wife to divorce me asap.
My wife just couldn't have me back with her own family threatening to to her off if she did. And cut off their relationship to her.
I have recently instructed a solicitor and they have tried to chase the case up for me , but still no timescale of a decision.
All the bad press the police are fetting right now, and all the many forces in special measures, the one who has my case is in that category too.

[greenfairy]

XR2222, I am sorry to read what you are going through. I am one of those wives that decided to stand by their husbands. My husband was arrested in July last year for making/distributing indecent images on KIK. My husband is now released under investigation, we don't know what is going to happen. Social services allow him to stay in the house if we follow a safety plan. We have two small children as well.

I am sorry to hear that this had such a detrimental effect on the relationship with your children.

I want to give you some hope because I think this is what you need at the moment. Your children love you and I am sure that you can rebuild your relationship in the future. Make sure you write them lots of cards. Someone recommended on this site to create an email address where you store letters to them in email form. At some point in the future, you can give them the login and they will see how much they mean to you.

Make the most of the time when you see them ( you probably already do this). And when they are older and more aware and have a better understanding, I am sure your ex-wife will allow you more time with them.

[Need help 2021]

Hi greenfairy honestly you have been soo Lucy with your case I also stood bedside my husband but socail were not haveing it at all even he is a low risk my case got taken to court which the Jude will decide she also was not happy the fact I was still with him and things were getting put in place for guardianship which scared me soo much and I then said to them we Will separate my son does coke first then they were happy to close the case and have said When he is between7 and 8 to decide unsupervised contact with his dad which doesn’t make sence at all honestly my husband was changed for possession of indecent images on his phone which came from a whats app group the group wants not for kids for adults but some people did post 11 indecent video the police has also said he didn’t such for anything they saw on his history which is positive and socail wanted him to except he has interest in kids which he says he don’t so he didn’t accept that .

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Xr2222

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear that the police investigation has not yet concluded and that this uncertainty is understandably impacting on you and is very stressful. You have now instructed a solcitor to chase up a response from the police about the criminal investigation and I hope that you hear back soon.

I am also sorry to hear that you are missing your children and contact is limited. I can see that is upsetting. Another parent who understands some of what you are going through has posted a supportive message and made some practical suggestions; I hope this has helped.

As you don’t have any queries about children’s services who may no longer be involved I am unable to provide specific advice. When there is an outcome of the criminal justice process they may become involved again so please do post again if this happens and you have any queries about their role.

I would, however, encourage you to continue to take up the support and services you mentioned in your previous post and, if you need to, to have a look again at the services I signposted where you can get emotional and mental health support or talk through your worries or needs. Your GP, the Samaritans : freephone 116 123 , Shout and CALM may be good to know about.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Xr2222]

Thankyou all for your responses.
I wanted to ask you Suzie in regards to my contact to the children. I'm finding it so hard to have such limited co tact to them. What are my rights as a father with PR for them both? Children's services are not yet involved and no case is open as my wife moved away and the incident didnt happen in that area. Unitil the investigation is known I'm assuming I have no option than to go with my ex wife request as it stands now.seej g them every 6 weeks for a couple of hours. If I challenge that she will close down and I will probably lose what I have now. I'm guessing a risk assessment will be carried out when the investigation is over? And my children will be opened to a child protection plan by s.services? And assigns a social worker? Any advice would be welcomed please on this.
Thanks.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Xr2222,

Contact is primarily the right of the child and not of the parent (even if you do have parental responsibility) or any other person. Therefore, parents do not have an automatic right of contact as such.

As it stands, you are having supervised contact with your children every six weeks as agreed with your ex-wife. Children's services are not involved, and therefore they have not made any recommendations. I am not sure whether you are subject to any bail conditions, but any contact with your children will have to comply with this.

If you are not happy with the level of contact you are having with your children, you may want to speak to a family solicitor, who can advise you on making an application for a child arrangements order. This means that a Judge will consider your application for increased contact, and will make a decision on this based on what he or she thinks is in the children's best interests. It is likely that at this point the judge will ask children's services to assess the situation and submit a report to the court with recommendations. This is known as a section 7 report. You can speak to someone at Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 for further information on child arrangements orders.

Whilst children's services are not currently involved, this may change in the future if there is a change in your family's circumstances; contact arrangements; the outcome of the investigation and/or a referral is received for another reason. At this point, children's services may open an assessment and they may make recommendations about the level and kind of contact that you have with your children. Whether or not children's services remain involved and at what 'level' will depend on their assessment of the situation and the risk that they think your children are at.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.