Legal rights of parent with Social Services and ex con

[XFDF3]

Hi
I am totally new to this and looking for both advice and shared experience if there is any. I am recently divorced from my ex husband and have my two tweens with me 50 % of the time (14 & 12 yrs old). Some time ago I made contact again with an old flame (via his family whom I know) who I used to both visit and write to in prison - 30 yrs ago he was given a 10 yr tariff for killing his girlfriend in a drunken depressed stupor. This was his only ever act of violence / domestic abuse. Due to various reasons (I am not going to bore you with now) he has remained yo-yo-ing between Cat D to Cat C's (not for anything risk related or in relation to his offence), and Judicial reviews & Human Rights claims are ongoing. Anyway, fact is he is due for release very soon. There are deep feelings there on both sides but he lives an hour away. I have no intention of him having any contact with my children whilst under the age of 16yrs - they need stability, plus we need to see how things go. He is in total agreement with this and respects this and we both recognise there is no rush. He intends to tell probation as per his licence conditions that there are feelings on both sides and that we plan to spend time together when I don't have the children in my care. My priority always has been and is my children's welfare and I wouldn't place them at any "perceived risk" or risk what so ever, hence my terms that we would only have contact when the children were with their father. My questions around this are:

Would this be subject to a risk assessment with social services or would it suffice if both have been open and honest regards their relationship from the outset?

If this is what we are going to do, do Probation/Social services, have the right to inform my ex husband of my relationship/friendship due to the fact he has them in his care for 50% of the time (despite the fact there will be no contact)?

Would Social Services have to have contact with my children to discuss my "friendship" with them / undertake an assessment of them?

Would my "friend" be permitted in my home if the children werent there - without the children being made aware?

I understand each case is different as is everyones experience of the services. Are there any laws surrounding the above and disclosure of private information to ex partners without my permission regards new partners? Any shared experience also would be really helpful.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear XFDF3,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I hope that the following advice is helpful.

I will answer your four questions in order.

Firstly, it is very likely that children’s services would become involved and want to carry out an assessment of the situation. Given the extremely serious nature of the crime that was committed it is likely that children’s services would have serious concerns about possible risk to your children. You might find it helpful to look at our website HERE for information about children’s services assessments. I would encourage you to work openly and honestly with children’s services; they would want to assess your capacity to safeguard your children and it is crucial that they believe you are being honest with them. We have information on our website HERE about children’s services involvement when there are concerns about risk of domestic abuse.

Secondly, as your children’s father has parental responsibility and is co-parenting with you, children’s services would have a duty to inform him about their involvement. This means that they would share any information with him about the children and what their concerns are about them. This would include any concerns they have about your new partner and the risk he may pose to the children.

Thirdly, if children’s services are involved then a very important part of this process is speaking with the children and visiting them regularly (both and home and in school/out in the community). They may not directly discuss your new partner with the children (if the children have never met him) but they should be speaking with the children to get a better understanding of their home life and if they have anything they’re worried about. Given your children’s ages, it is also likely that they will pick up on why children’s services are involved and if they want to know it is unlikely that a social worker would feel it was in their best interests to keep this information from them.

In response to your final question, children’s services have no legal jurisdiction to ‘permit’ or ‘not permit’ your new partner to visit you at home. This decision is up to you, however if you do allow him to visit you at home this may raise children’s services concerns (even if the children are not present). For example, if your new partner knows your address then it would be a concern that he could attend the property at any point, potentially putting the children at risk.

You also ask if there are “any laws regarding disclosure of private information to ex partners without my permission regards new partners”. There is a law called Clare’s Law which gives anyone the right to request information from the police about the current or ex-partner of a family member (if they are concerned that they might be at risk of domestic abuse). Therefore the father of your children would be entitled to request this information under Clare’s Law even if you do not give your consent.

I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further questions, or you can call our adviceline (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie