SS using our Neurodivergence as "evidence" of abuse

[deletedkatkat10]

Deleted due to ableism from katkat10

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear bananabiscuitcakes,

Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.

You say that you have autism and that your eldest child is autistic and your youngest child has ADHD.

You say that there is a PLO meeting, and that you have just been informed in Easy Read what the social workers concerns are. You say that the social worker is saying your children's neurodivergent traits are evidence that you are emotionally abusive. They say that you have meltdowns when you are stressed, but you say this is not the case and that you go silent. You say that a recent educational psychologist report states that your eldest has been struggling at school and that he is not appropriately supported at school. You would like to know whether this report is evidence that the social worker is making false allegations against you. You say that the NHS and advocate are having a meeting with the social worker to discuss how she is not meeting your communication needs. The PLO letter has asked you to provide names of people who the children could live with to avoid court. You say that you do not have any family and that your ex-partner is being investigated by the police for domestic violence. You are worried about the safeguarding concerns and worried about the impact it would have on their education, including the EHCP process. You want to know if the social workers actions will be proof they are the only ones causing emotional harm and abuse to the children?

Firstly, autism, ADHD and/or display neurodivergent traits are not evidence of abuse in children and it would be incorrect for a social worker to say this. Children who have autism, ADHD or display neurodivergent traits may suffer abuse - and, like with any children - this may affect their behaviour in a range of different ways.

You say that a PLO meeting is being held and that you do not agree with the social worker's concerns. PLO is initiated when children's services are concerned that your children have suffered/at risk of significant harm and would like to give you a chance to make changes to avoid care proceedings. The aim of the PLO meeting is to agree a plan. The plan should address the concerns children’s services have and this may also be an opportunity for you to further clarify with the social worker why they think your are emotionally abusive and why they think this is evident in your children's behaviour. Additionally, this may be an opportunity for you ask for specific support for your children relating to their autism/ADHD and educational needs.

The most important thing to do now if you have not already done so, is to find a family law solicitor. You are entitled to legal aid and will not have to pay for this. You can discuss your position with your solicitor. They will attend the PLO meeting with you and will help you to put your views across.

If you have specific communication needs, children's services should meet these in order to allow you to engage with the PLO process. You mention Easy Read and that you have an advocate, which are both important. If you have concerns that children's services are not doing this, please speak to your solicitor.

You mention that you are concerned about the social worker's lack of understanding around autism. It is positive that your advocate is able to advocate for you around this. You can raise this at the PLO meeting. It may be agreed that more specialist assessments should be commissioned. You may also find it helpful to contact the National Autistic Society on 0207 833 2299 for more input.

It is normal during the PLO process to ask a parent to provide the names of other possible carers for the children within the family network. This is so that these relatives can be assessed in the possibility that it is decided that the children cannot remain in your care. If the case goes to court, the court will order this to happen. Please note that your children cannot be removed from your care without your consent, or without children's services having an order from the court. Children's services may ask your children's father to assume care of the children if they do not think they are safe with you - you can raise your concerns about this given the safeguarding matters you have mentioned. Ultimately, the children's best interests must come first, and any move has to take into account the impact of change.

You may find it helpful to take a look at our webpage on pre-proceedings here and our webpage on children with disabilities and special educational needs.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[deletedkatkat10]

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[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear bananabiscuitscake

Thanks for your further post. I recommend that you discuss with your solicitor
the concerns you have about the reasons that the social worker is putting forward as evidence of emotional abuse. They will be able to advise you on how to address this in the context of the social work assessment of your children’s situation, the current plan for them and the future plans which will be considered at the PLO meeting. Your advocate may be able to help with this too. The PLO meeting should clarify concerns from children's services' point of view but also be an opportunity for you to put forward your views and request the right support.

Please see this definition of emotional abuse from Working Together to Safeguard Children (2018).

We have advice materials on emotional abuse also which you can find here which explore how emotional abuse can occur and how it affects children.

I hope this is useful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[deletedkatkat10]

Deleted

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear bananabiscuitcakes,

Parents with a learning disability of difficulty should always be offered an advocate by children's service when pre-proceedings have been started. Please take a look here for more information on how children's services should work fairly with parents who have a learning disability or difficulty.

I would advise that you speak to the social worker and your solicitor and request that an advocate be arranged for you as soon as possible.

You can also take a look here for some top tips on working with an advocate.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[deletedkatkat10]

Deleted

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Bananabiscuitcakes

Thank you for the update. I note in your post of 29th March you state you do not have a ‘proper’ advocate. Please see below information and guidance from our advocacy advice document. For ease, I have added the full document HERE .

5. What if a social worker doesn’t agree that I should have an advocate?

Sometimes social workers are reluctant to let parents bring an advocate or supporter with them to meetings. If this happens, you should check why:

• Is it because the social worker has concerns about the person you want to bring?
Are they seen as a risk to your child or have they been aggressive to the social worker in the past, for example?

• If it is not for any such clear reason, then you could point out that research shows that an advocate can help parents take part in local authority planning processes

You say the social worker has informed you and your solicitor that you do not need an advocate. Have they put this in writing to you and given their reasons for this? Further, I would ask them to evidence on what basis they have made this decision. Have they sought professional opinion from those who are qualified to provide it?

I thought I would just mention again the National Autistic Society (on 0207 833 2299) who may be able to provide some further help and guidance regarding your situation.

I hope this helps. If you would like to speak to an adviser, please call our freephone advice helpline on 0808 8010366 (Mon – Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm). Or, of course, you can post again on here.

Best wishes, Suzie

[Frazor]

Hello
O my goodness your story is exactly what im am going through. It's so unfair what ss are doing to us loving parents due to our children having a learning disability instead of helping parents accessing a child with a disability and our children's needs they blame us. They make my mental health times worse. All the problems me and my children face in life is all due to there false allegations. I have no help ive fought to keep my children for 6 half years on my own. It breaks my heart to think that these so called caring people are actually telling lies for there own families. Not one of them sw have ever once considered my children's needs or thoughts, that's always been clear to me. How can they possibly be getting away with this, i speak to many parents that genuinely loved there child but that child was forced from them for adoption. I've felt there pain because im trying to fight for justice for this to stop. God love you we stand tall my love

[deletedkatkat10]

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