Run away child

[Angrymother]

Some back story, in August 2021 I went on a caravan holiday with my sister who had borderline personality disorder. We were not having s good time so i decided to leave a day early and my sister abducted my children and called police on me saying I was drunk and violent (not true and no charges were brought against me), police didn’t respond to my repeated calls to them that my sister had abducted my children (at that time they were 11 and 13, she coerced them to stay with her by saying that taking them home from holiday a day early was child abide and if they stay with her then they can have lots of fun etc). I eventually got them home about a week later by obtaining an emergency family court order. During that week my children were told that any type of parenting was abuse, this was taken as fact by my older daughter who came home a different child who hated me and was suffering ptsd for an abuse that wasn’t happening (my younger daughter was also traumatised but actually became closer to me and spent about 3 months sleeping in my bed). About a week after my children came home, my older daughter had been playing up so I told her I was taking her phone for a week, in response to this my sister and mother (who had joined forces with my sister, I had previously cut my mother out of my life) called police snd social services on me snd told my daughter to get out of the house immediately because me taking her phone is abuse. Police dismissed things snd social services carried out a full review following the allegations and provided a report confirming that my children were not at risk at home but they had concerns about influence from my mother and sister. Over the following year I contacted children’s services several times asking for help with my older daughter, my mum and sister continued to attempt to alienate her against me and on several occasions encouraged her to run away (on Halloween last year my mother turned up at her school and called her down to see her and then had her run away to hers again, I finally got police to bring her home 3 days later). Just before Christmas my mum had her run away to hers again and has refused to discuss with me. Police have said they don’t do anything without a court order and they won’t treat it as abduction under section 2 of the child abduction act because they believe a grandparent is a connected person (even though the act clearly says they aren’t), children’s services won’t do anything and say my daughter is not a runaway child because we know where she is. I have an application for family court and an emergency hearing took place in January, however my mum lied to the judge and alleged she was protecting my daughter from abuse and the court adjourned things until May so that they could get reports from Childrens services etc to see what is really going on.

I should note that my you get daughter is doing fine and my sister/mother have only targeted my older daughter. My older daughter had mental health issues and has an ADHD assessment next month that her school have actually agreed to fund privately so we didn’t have to wait the 2+ years on nhs, and the manipulation from my sister/mother have ony made her issues worse.

Also in May last year Childrens services asked me to take in one of my daughters friends who had been kicked out of home and she has been with us since under a private fostering agreement.

Childrens services know that there is no abuse in my house, otherwise surely they wouldn’t place another child here. Yet they won’t do anything to stop my mother encouraging my daughter to run away and harbouring her.

I just don’t know what to do. I can’t afford a solicitor. I don’t have any support network, people such as my mother and sister who should be backing me up and helping me are the people causing the problems and I feel desperate and alone.

[Angrymother]

To confirm - my daughter had been harboured by my mother since December 9th 2022.

I am the only person with parental responsibility for her.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Angrymother

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I see from your post that you are frustrated and upset by the actions of your sister and mother in respect of your daughter. This situation has been ongoing since she was 13 years old. She is now nearly 15.

You believe that children’s services (the new name for social services) could do more to assist you with your daughter and your family’s behaviour. If your daughter is safe with her grandmother children’s services may not consider that there are any safeguarding issues. However, because of your daughter’s needs because of her mental health issues and possible ADHD (to be assessed), she could be considered a child in need who requires additional support. You can ask for them to assess her as a child in need

Whilst they may not describe her as a runaway child, she may be vulnerable to the pressures on her which cannot be good for her emotional wellbeing. Children’s services are usually concerned about the emotional harm a child suffers and it is often considered a safeguarding issue. I suggest that y[ou put in writing your concerns about your daughter’s wellbeing to children’s services, say you consider it a safeguarding issue and for them to put in writing to you why they do not believe it to be.

The government guidance that children’s services work to is HERE

It is possible that because of your daughter’s age now more weight is being given to her wishes and feelings about where she lives. She is still your responsibility as a child, but her views will be an important factor as well.

There are ongoing court proceedings, and the court has adjourned the case. I assume the judge has asked for a report to be prepared. The judge will give you the opportunity to explain your concerns about the way your family has behaved towards you and your daughter.

You state that the police will not take any action in respect of the daughter being kept from you because they consider your mother to be a connected person. It maybe they are of the view that your mother has a reasonable excuse (as stated in the Act) to keep her from your lawful control as the person with parental responsibility. They do not appear to have carried out an investigation to reach their decision. Perhaps you wish to consider making a formal complaint.

Unfortunately, child abduction falls outside the remit of our advice service, so I am not able to advise on this.

As you have a child other than your own in your care children’s services may not wish to go down the child protection route as that child could not remain with you if your own children were placed on a child protection plan. You mention that children’s services asked you to look after the child in question but describe it as a private fostering arrangement. In circumstances where children’s services play a significant role in a child living with someone else, this could be considered s.20voluntary accommodation and the person caring for the child assessed as a foster carer and paid the appropriate fostering allowance. There is information HERE about this which you may find useful.

Since you do not have a solicitor representing you, I suggest you contact this service, Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 as they offer advice in private law family cases. It may also be helpful for you to look at this WEBSITE website which provides guidance for persons representing themselves at court. There is a service Support through Court that may be of assistance.

If you decide to make a formal complaint about children’s services handling of the matter, here is information relating to complaints.

I hope this is helpful, but should you wish to speak to an adviser in respect of issues relating to children’s services you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

Best wishes

Suzie

[deletedkatkat10]

Have you spoken to a solicitor about a nonmolestation order? In the order you can ask it to protect your children as well, one thing you can ask for is that it states they can't go anywhere near the kids schools (if that's what you ask for).

I'm surprised social services did not suggest it, especially as they also voiced concerns of the influence from grandmother and aunt. May be able to argue it as emotional abuse for the order.

Definitely speak to a solicitor about your options on this.