ex partner injured baby but SS coming down hard on me

[Worriedmumof2x]

Looking for advice, here is the story

* a couple of weeks ago I noticed my baby was unsettled, He has reflux and struggles with wind, I put him in bed and he settled and went to sleep, at 5.30am in the morning he woke up and was very unsettled and I noticed a scratch on his ear. he kept being unsettled and the cry was different, I heard popping sounds coming from his chest and noticed his finger was blue, I called my GP at 8am and had an appointment 2 hours later, he settled in his swing before appointment.
- at GP appointment GP said finger was a bruise and upon examination noticed a small bruise under baby’s arm, she sent me to waiting room and called me back 50 minutes later and advised social services and police would be involved for suspected child abuse, she said I couldn’t leave waiting room to inform my then partner who was waiting on car with toddler and I would have to be escorted to hospital, I got upset and told her I am no risk taking my baby to hospital myself and don’t want to confuse toddler, social services agree’d for us to make own way to hospital.
- upon examination and scan baby had 4 fractured ribs. the day after the scan results where told to us my then partner told me he squeezed baby out of frustation ( I was not present at this time and he said incident happened late Tuesday afternoon I was out between 3-5) baby was sleeping when I got home.
- I called the police on my then partner, I gave a witnesss statement against him and I also gave text message evidence against him ( then partner text me after he left hospital apologising for everything )
- then partner was arrested and charged and is currently out on bail with conditions to not contact me or the kids

Social work involved, they are requiring me to stay at my mums house under 24/7 supervision with the kids
Their investigation is finished and my kids are being put on child protection plan, I will not be aloud to return home to my house with my children, if I do SS will go to court to remove them, they want me to attend counselling which I will do, they are questioning weather I knew about this and covered it up and my involvement and I never got baby medical help soon enough
They are questioning my reaction to all of this, my then partner never showed any signs of aggression he was nice, kind, respectful and great with the kids, his mental health declined and he told me he felt suicidal a few weeks before this happened, so when I found out what happened my heart sank and I struggled to get my head around this because how could the man I love do this to his own son? HOW

I feel I am being made to feel guilty by social services, I am no risk to the children however because my then partner is out on bail they said there is a risk
I don’t know what to do
I feel I have done the right thing I took baby to GP, I called the police on them partner and gave all evidence against him, I have done everything SS have asked of me, any advice?

[Worriedmumof2x]

They are also saying things which are untrue

at first GP appointment I mentioned I am worried about baby’s skin; he goes very blotchy after feeds in his face which extends to his abdomen, his skin of dry and flaky, and sometimes quite molted, his finger nails often are a strange colour, the dermatologist in hospital said baby had eczema and ear looks like eczema, however SS are now saying I said to GP that I noticed bruises on his abdomen when he was 3 weeks old which I didn’t say bruises I said blotchy and molted ( I have pictures of baby’s blotchy skin as I was worried milk intolerance which I also showed GP ) so SS are saying I have turned a blind eye which I absolutely have not

[Worriedmumof2x]

Also I am not excusing my then partners actions, he is totally in the wrong and I’m not going to start ranting about him because if I start I won’t stop but the SS are saying my reaction was strange and I was explaining I was in total shock as I did not expect this at all from him and it has been hard for me to get my head around, SS wanted to investigate how this has happened and lead up so I was telling them about his mental health and everything that happened in last weeks before this happened however I feel I am being punished for his actions, the CID dealing with case habe no concerns of me they do not want to charge me with anything

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Chloedeeee

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your posts.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. In your post you say how worried you are about children’s services (new name for social services) involvement with your family. Your baby suffered physical injury from your former partner, but you believe that children’s services is in some way making you responsible for what happened. You did what you considered was appropriate for your baby.

I can understand how you feel regarding the action you took when you learned what happened to your baby. It is important for you to try and look at it from the perspective of children’s services. Your baby has suffered physical harm which is significant which has led to your children being placed on a child protection plan. Your baby was in his parents’ care and was hurt so they will look at both parents. In your case the father has admitted to causing the injury which is helpful as often in these circumstances the parents say they have no explanation. Children’s services want to be satisfied that you are a protective parent who will put your children’s needs first.

At present, your former partner is on bail and not able to contact you or the children. You do not mention if he is in the family home still because you are at your mother’s home. You do not mention in your post what your plans are although you refer to the father as your ‘then partner'. Children's services may have concerns about you getting back with your child’s father. It may be helpful for you to discuss with the social worker what further they expect you to do to reassure them the children are your priority, and you are no risk to them at all. Also, you should try to work out a safety plan with children’s for returning home with the children.

The timeline for your baby getting hurt is unclear in your post so it may be that children’s services are of the view that you did not act quickly enough by taking baby to the hospital although you attended at your GP. It is not therefore possible to comment on the view that children's services have on this.

Children's services would be concerned if a mother tries to provide justification for a father's action when a baby has suffered significant physical harm. You also mention other concerns that children's services has in respect of your baby's overall health which you say that you have always brought to the attention of your GP. The medical records will be able to confirm your visits to the GP.

I believe you may find it helpful to read information from our website relating to child protection and working with social workers .

It is very important that you work with the children protection plan doing what is required of you as failure to do so could mean that children's services might consider escalating your case to pre-proceedings. I know it must be a very stressful time for you but do your best to be open honest and work well with the process for the best outcome.

Hope you will find this information helpful but should wish to speak to an advisor, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

Best wishes

Suzie