I'm in desperate need of advice .
I live at my mothers as does my partner (now ex) around the corner from each other and since the 31st May I've been refused access to my 4month old daughter .
On my days off I always have my daughter and mostly spend time with my partner and daughter but we fell out , words were said about her toxic controlling family who've I've had issues with before .
I took my daughter out and during that time my partner phoned the police , my partner knew I was taking my daughter for some fresh air and to see the ducks, I let her know via text and she responded - I even let her know when I was setting off back but she phoned the police who searched my mothers house and questioned her and my mum even shown them a text saying I was heading back , they were fine and left.
Since then I've been refused access and my partner just sent replies stating 'the courts will decide your access rights '
On the 2nd of June I received this message
' I have been advised today to inform you all access arrangements are suspended. It's now for the courts to arrange access.'
I've not received any legal documentation , I've no idea if its a genuine report or which firm its with as she wont provide any details .
I do not have a criminal record and I've never been involved in any domestic abuse incidents nor am I danger to the welfare of our child but I'm beginning to wonder now has she made stuff up, her family are every possessive and wouldn't allow my daughter out of their house , my own elderly mother had to walk up to the house to see her granddaughter of which I have proof in a recorded conversation .
I went to citizens advice and after looking at what i shown them I was advised to knock on my partners house and if she refused access then to phone the police but a follow up team from the NHS turned up at the door when I got home and they said just wait it out and you should get the legal access suspension document soon if its genuine .
Meanwhile I don't get to see my daughter and I don't know what to do , it's killing me and its cruel to use our daughter in that way, I've since read court cases can take up to a year !
Surely I shouldn't be denied access for that length of time based on somebodies lies .
Refused access to my daughter
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Refused access to my daughter
Dear jerseyboss,
Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.
You say that your ex-partner is now allowing you to have contact with your 4 month old daughter. Recently, you took your daughter out, and during that time your partner informed the police, who attended your mothers home, but did not take any further action. Since then, you have not had contact, and she has told you that the courts will decide on contact arrangements. You say you have not received any legal documentation and do not know what to do.
Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your situation, this is clearly very difficult for you.
At Family Rights Group, we advise families who have involvement from children's services. It is not clear from your post whether this is the case, and therefore you may not be within our remit.
It appears that your partner - for whatever reason - has stopped contact between you and your child. It is often in a child's best interests to have a meaningful relationship with both their parents, so long as this is safe. I would advise that first and foremost, you try and discuss with your ex-partner what her concerns may be, and what steps you can both take to ensure that your daughter has a healthy relationship with both parents. Family mediation may be useful in helping you both come to an agreement.
Your ex-partner may have applied to court for a child arrangements order. If this is the case, you should receive notification of this. You yourself may wish to consider making an application for a child arrangements order in order to regularise and officialise contact with your child.
If you do wish to do this, I would advise that you seek the advice of a family law solicitor. You can also receive more advice and information from Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.
You say that your ex-partner is now allowing you to have contact with your 4 month old daughter. Recently, you took your daughter out, and during that time your partner informed the police, who attended your mothers home, but did not take any further action. Since then, you have not had contact, and she has told you that the courts will decide on contact arrangements. You say you have not received any legal documentation and do not know what to do.
Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your situation, this is clearly very difficult for you.
At Family Rights Group, we advise families who have involvement from children's services. It is not clear from your post whether this is the case, and therefore you may not be within our remit.
It appears that your partner - for whatever reason - has stopped contact between you and your child. It is often in a child's best interests to have a meaningful relationship with both their parents, so long as this is safe. I would advise that first and foremost, you try and discuss with your ex-partner what her concerns may be, and what steps you can both take to ensure that your daughter has a healthy relationship with both parents. Family mediation may be useful in helping you both come to an agreement.
Your ex-partner may have applied to court for a child arrangements order. If this is the case, you should receive notification of this. You yourself may wish to consider making an application for a child arrangements order in order to regularise and officialise contact with your child.
If you do wish to do this, I would advise that you seek the advice of a family law solicitor. You can also receive more advice and information from Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Refused access to my daughter
Dear jerseyboss,
Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.
You say that your ex-partner is now allowing you to have contact with your 4 month old daughter. Recently, you took your daughter out, and during that time your partner informed the police, who attended your mothers home, but did not take any further action. Since then, you have not had contact, and she has told you that the courts will decide on contact arrangements. You say you have not received any legal documentation and do not know what to do.
Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your situation, this is clearly very difficult for you.
At Family Rights Group, we advise families who have involvement from children's services. It is not clear from your post whether this is the case, and therefore you may not be within our remit.
It appears that your partner - for whatever reason - has stopped contact between you and your child. It is often in a child's best interests to have a meaningful relationship with both their parents, so long as this is safe. I would advise that first and foremost, you try and discuss with your ex-partner what her concerns may be, and what steps you can both take to ensure that your daughter has a healthy relationship with both parents. Family mediation may be useful in helping you both come to an agreement.
Your ex-partner may have applied to court for a child arrangements order. If this is the case, you should receive notification of this. You yourself may wish to consider making an application for a child arrangements order in order to regularise and officialise contact with your child.
If you do wish to do this, I would advise that you seek the advice of a family law solicitor. You can also receive more advice and information from Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.
You say that your ex-partner is now allowing you to have contact with your 4 month old daughter. Recently, you took your daughter out, and during that time your partner informed the police, who attended your mothers home, but did not take any further action. Since then, you have not had contact, and she has told you that the courts will decide on contact arrangements. You say you have not received any legal documentation and do not know what to do.
Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your situation, this is clearly very difficult for you.
At Family Rights Group, we advise families who have involvement from children's services. It is not clear from your post whether this is the case, and therefore you may not be within our remit.
It appears that your partner - for whatever reason - has stopped contact between you and your child. It is often in a child's best interests to have a meaningful relationship with both their parents, so long as this is safe. I would advise that first and foremost, you try and discuss with your ex-partner what her concerns may be, and what steps you can both take to ensure that your daughter has a healthy relationship with both parents. Family mediation may be useful in helping you both come to an agreement.
Your ex-partner may have applied to court for a child arrangements order. If this is the case, you should receive notification of this. You yourself may wish to consider making an application for a child arrangements order in order to regularise and officialise contact with your child.
If you do wish to do this, I would advise that you seek the advice of a family law solicitor. You can also receive more advice and information from Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
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jerseyboss
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sun Jun 04, 2023 4:06 pm
Re: Refused access to my daughter
Thank you Suzie
It seems me and my partner have exchanged words and shes got angry and phoned the police and said I've taken our daughter.
She knew exactly where I was going (15min walk from her house ) before I set off at 15.40 , this was sent via a text message , I also updated her with how our daughter was and messaged to say I was on the way back.
I'm not sure what the police were told ,I'm baffled and it seems I'm not allowed to know .
XXXX came around and I shown them all the evidence stating where I was etc and theres even text to state she willingly handed our daughter over to me.
XXXX said its more than likely mediation will be suggested but they'll look into it meanwhile I've been advised to sit it out.
I have no criminal record , I've never been violent to either her or our child and I've never been charged with anything like that as I'm not that sort of person .
My partner is unemployed so if she decides to ignore mediation which I suspect she will it won't matter to her as she knows she doesn't have to pay a penny so she has nothing to lose if she drags this out even if I'm eventually granted part custody .
I've been told it could be up to a year before I see my daughter even though I'm not guilty of anything.
This is destroying me and theres nothing I can do and it seems even when shes found to be lying that nothing will be done to her .
This is wrong surely , my daughter could be 1 and half years old before she sees me again and wonders who the hell I am .
It seems me and my partner have exchanged words and shes got angry and phoned the police and said I've taken our daughter.
She knew exactly where I was going (15min walk from her house ) before I set off at 15.40 , this was sent via a text message , I also updated her with how our daughter was and messaged to say I was on the way back.
I'm not sure what the police were told ,I'm baffled and it seems I'm not allowed to know .
XXXX came around and I shown them all the evidence stating where I was etc and theres even text to state she willingly handed our daughter over to me.
XXXX said its more than likely mediation will be suggested but they'll look into it meanwhile I've been advised to sit it out.
I have no criminal record , I've never been violent to either her or our child and I've never been charged with anything like that as I'm not that sort of person .
My partner is unemployed so if she decides to ignore mediation which I suspect she will it won't matter to her as she knows she doesn't have to pay a penny so she has nothing to lose if she drags this out even if I'm eventually granted part custody .
I've been told it could be up to a year before I see my daughter even though I'm not guilty of anything.
This is destroying me and theres nothing I can do and it seems even when shes found to be lying that nothing will be done to her .
This is wrong surely , my daughter could be 1 and half years old before she sees me again and wonders who the hell I am .
Last edited by Suzie, FRG Adviser on Wed Jun 14, 2023 11:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Removed an acronym/a name
Reason: Removed an acronym/a name
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Refused access to my daughter
Dear jerseyboss
Thank you for your update, I am sorry to read that your family situation remains difficult.
May I suggest that you seek information from Advice Now, here are their helpful booklets. Child Law Advice may be helpful too, here is a link to their website.
Best wishes
Suzie
Thank you for your update, I am sorry to read that your family situation remains difficult.
May I suggest that you seek information from Advice Now, here are their helpful booklets. Child Law Advice may be helpful too, here is a link to their website.
Best wishes
Suzie
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