SGO removal help if possible

[motherinneed]

Not sure if I've posted this in the right place, but my kids have been under an sgo with my father since 2021. The case started in 2019 when there was domestic abuse from their father to me, the children weren't involved but there was a chance that they heard it. There was about a year of issues and police involvement and I got offered a refuge but refused it as my children we under child in need with their current guardians but social and domestic abuse aids wanted me to move 300 miles away from my children with no expectation of ever coming back or seeing them (i asked over and over again).
We have been having issues since the SGO, me and my father have a really great relationship, but my stepmother and I do not, we work together for the kids. Social services on the other hand have been causing issues, both me and their father have supervised contact once a month that was supervised by his mother for a while (again someone I get on with better than he does), but when she got too ill to supervise we were placed in a contact center.

I put forward people to get assessed to supervise me and the children during contact and social was supposed to be completing the assessment before handing it over finally to the friends and family team and completing a full handover meeting introducing the whole family to the new team. A few weeks ago I received an email from the social worker with someone new cc'd in explaining this is the new friends and family social worker and that was it! I have had no contact with social services since I have tried over and over again but no luck.

I would like to have my children back and have taken steps to improve the situation, I have held my own flat in an area local to the children and family support since July 2020, I gained a job shortly after, working my way up to manager before changing roles, which is when issues started happening with the children's father again. He deemed my job change as me trying to interfere with his job as it was a local service station he visited occasionally, and it ended up with him coming to my workplace shouting and threatening me while I was socializing up there and him then getting banned by my managers for my safety (I have since left this role). I have also done some online learning regarding domestic abuse and even parenting to show I am trying. I am with a new partner now for about 10 months who now lives with me, and both me and him are in volunteering roles relating to children, me being a scout leader (social knew and agreed with this role) and him being a cadet instructor.
I have taken a strong interest in my children's life, speaking with my father on a daily basis (while seeing him twice a week during scout meetings as he's a leader with me). I have had issues with my daughter more than my son as at the end of contact she will scream and cry every time she has to leave saying she wants to stay with me to the point during the end of contact I have to hand her physically over to my father as that's the only way she will leave me, During these outbursts, I have been understanding of my daughter's feelings but will use activities I know my father has planned as almost bribery for her to go as I don't want to break the court order regarding contact. whereas I know their father is still causing issues with his new partner giving the children gifts when they aren't allowed to hear about our partners yet and actually kicking off the day of his last contact as my daughter was too ill to attend and he had to take off a day for work and drive miles to come to see them when it got canceled! (that last bit has really annoyed me as I can't imagine my poorly little girl being dragged out for anything when I know she would be happier cwtched on the sofa with cartoons on)

I believe there's been enough change to get the sgo removed from me still living with my domestic abuser, not being employed, and actually getting kicked out of college during socials involvement with my life just being that nothing else to where I am now but I am struggling to have confidence in my chances, the only thing I can clearly see being an issue is me and my partner currently live in a 1 bedroom flat when I have a daughter and a son with my daughter being 10 in a year and a bit which means the council wouldn't like them sharing anymore but we are working to get this sorted as we would like an actual house with a garden ourselves anyhow.

Sorry, it's long but can anyone offer me advice, has anyone in a similar situation that has gotten it removed? or does anyone have any information about this not being enough to prove change (and if this is the case what else can I do as I'm willing to do anything to get them back).

thanks in advance for everything

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear motherinneed

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie and am one of the online advisers at Family Rights Group. I see from your post that you have had a very difficult time having experienced domestic abuse, having children’s services involvement and your children no longer in your but living with your father and stepmother under special guardianship orders.

You have given a very full background of the circumstances prior to the order being made and since then. As the court would have considered these matters there is no need to try and go behind the decision made but concentrate on the situation for you now.

It is possible for a parent to apply to the court for permission to discharge a special guardianship order and the important factor when making an application to discharge the order is to be able to evidence to the court that the issues that led to the children being removed no longer exist or there has been a significant change. Having appropriate accommodation for the child or children is important as the court is unlikely to move children from a settled home into one which is inadequate. You are still having supervised contact with your children once a month. Having a good level of contact is an important part of showing the court there have been significant changes. It might be helpful for you to try to have increased contact with your children to the point where unsupervised contact would be considered by the special guardians.

The changes you have made, and the work done are good and you should be proud of yourself for this. I am including information from our website about special guardianship and what it means for birth parents read it HERE .

Any assessment of persons willing to supervise contact can still be done by the new team and you should continue to chase this up. If the special guardians believe that the changes you have made are enough to increase contact safely, then it is possible for them to discuss this with children’s services, but it is their decision. Children’s services can make recommendations in respect of contact but cannot impose it on the special guardians as they are the one with parental responsibility for the children.

You may wish to contact Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 as they offer advice about private law cases which it would be should you decide to make an application to the court now.

I hope this information is helpful, but should you wish to speak to an adviser you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie