Can social workers stop reconcilation and take my child away?

[Susue]

Hi,

I need some advice.

My partner and I are currently separated since January 2023 and we have a 2 year old child who we share care for, but she lives with me.

In 2021 and January 2023… The police were called by myself and my partner on each occasion for domestic disturbance. On both occasions they led to no further action. We both have clean criminal records, no substance misuse or child neglect, abuse etc…. So basically clean.

As we had a child at home, the social services did their usual safeguarding assessment both times. Both cases were closed with no further action and confirmed that both parents are suitable to parent our child.

On the latest assessment in January , they closed the case with no further action BUT stated “it would be a concern if the parents were to kindle their relationship, the child would be at significant harm”


Since January my partner and I have made great efforts to change ourselves and our treatment towards each other. We place our child first and have been co-parenting very well. We both recognise our mistakes and notice that our child is happy with us both being present and in her life together.

We would like to reconcile and move back in with each other. But I am afraid social services may take our child away if we reconcile, even though we have changed and the risk of domestic disturbance have reduced as a result.

I have asked for the social workers to review their position.

But what can we do? Can they force us to stay apart?

I am lost because I do not want my child taken away from me and feel that social workers won’t understand that being a whole family is what our child needs and is actually valuing when we are together. It’s in the child’s best interests to reconcile our family again.

What do I do?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Susue,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ board.

You say that you and your partner have a 2 year old child who lives with you. You and your partner have been separated since January 2023. In 2021 and in January 2023, the police were called to your home due to domestic incidents. This led to no further action. Children’s services became involved on both occasions, but the cases were closed with no further action. However, in January, the assessment stated that any reconciliation between you and your partner could expose your child to significant harm. You say that since then, you and your partner have made changes and have been co-parenting well. You would like to reconcile and move back in with each other. You are worried that children’s services will take your child if you do this – you say that the risk of domestic abuse has reduced. You have asked children’s services to review their position. You want to know if they can force you to stay apart and think that being together is in your child’s best interests.

Children’s services are concerned that there is a risk of domestic abuse in your relationship with your partner. They did an assessment and January and decided that they did not need to be involved as you and your partner had separated. They stated that should this change, your child would be at risk of significant harm.

You have done the right thing by informing children’s services that you would like to reconcile. This will allow children’s services to do another assessment and to better understand your relationship at present and what impact living in the same home would have on your daughter. As always, children’s services will expect you both to act in a protective capacity and to place your daughter’s needs above your relationship. You should be given the opportunity to show how things may have changed. At the end of the assessment, the social worker will decide whether there needs to be any further action.

If they think they need to remain involved, they may recommend a child in need plan. You can read more about this here. If they are concerned that you and your partner reconciling puts your child at risk of significant harm, they may initiate child protection enquiries. This could result in your child being placed on a child protection plan. You can read more about this here.

Children’s services cannot ‘force’ you to stay apart from your partner. However, if they think that him being in the same home puts your child at risk of harm, they may take steps to address this. Beyond a child protection plan, children’s services can only remove your child from your care without your consent if they have an order from the court. Children’s services will only take this step if they are very very worried about your daughter and if other steps to safeguard here have not worked.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.