Will my partner be allowed to attend the birth of our son?

[Josey78]

Hi, this is my first post. I'm having a real time of it lately I'm nearly 6mth pregnant with my partners baby, we went to school together and started to date over a year ago. I've got 5 other children from an ended marriage. Last July 2012 my partners ex decided to put on my Facebook wall that he had possessed videos (intimate ones) of her daughter that she found early 2010 (no police involvement). She failed to mention the daughter was indeed our age group and that prior to her dating my partner he was in fact dating (as 15/16 year olds do) her daughter. So this woman who was 34 at the time, then bedded her daughters 16 year old bf (my partner) this relationship lasted till 2010 and ended after she found videos. she then after 5mth of the split asked to be intimate with him again, he agreed till we met early last year then when he ended it she became nasty and said she was dying of cancer... After the Facebook outburst she then told police she had found indecent images on her laptop and blamed him, 2 and a half year after the split. Anyway ss are involved now, kids are on protection plan for neglect and he has been charged due for court next wk. I could go on and on about the cock ups of ss and the fact someone who's had access to this pc was previously charged with ten counts of child molestation but got a not guilty charge. Anyway will ss stop him from being present at the birth? I've a solicitor but not seeing him for a few wks, my post is scatty but as you can imagine my heads in my bottom at the moment.... Thanks

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Josey78,

Welcome to the Parents Forum and thank you for posting.
I am so sorry that you are in this situation-with your children being on a child protection plan at the moment and your partner and father of your unborn child being prosecuted by the police. It must be a very stressful time for you.

You are right to think about the plan around the birth of your baby.
If there is still a child protection plan in place during the time when your baby is due, then children services (in consultation with you and other professionals-) will make plans around what will happen in hospital –including who can attend the birth and what are the plans for when you and baby are discharged from hospital.

If children services are worried that your partner may be a risk to your baby -then they should undertake a risk assessment of him-to decide whether or not there will be restrictions on him attending or whether there will be any conditions attached to him attending.

Speak to the social worker, as soon as you can, and ask what the plans are around the birth of your baby.

Here is an advice sheet about
child protection procedures.

Please post back if you have any further questions or you are not sure about what the social worker is telling you.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Anon88]

Unfortunately SS were (still are) involved when I was pregnant. I too had these worries, the plan was made and he was able to be at the birth as long as he was supervised by persons named on the contract of expectations. He had to be escorted by a named person to and from ward. He wasn't able to be alone with our baby or any baby, even if their parents were there. And that's just from having a fee indecent images on the computer.

[Lalalahehehe]

How are things now

[Josey78]

Thank's Suzie, Anon88 and lalalahehehe. I've been told that he can attend as hospital staff will be present. Everything is still the same and kids are coming off protection plan and transferred to child in need plan the 2nd of October, only having been on it 6 month by then. It's pretty much been from me totally engaging and being honest about things. If you lie and they where to find out they deem you as being prepared to take risks and potentially put your children at risk. I would never let any harm come to my kids at all. I will keep updates as to what's what plus let you know the end result as I'm not able to discuss it while it's at court. That too will get me in bother. As for the social care side of things, I'll let you know how I get on but had a very positive core group meeting today so onwards and upwards...

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Josey,

Thanks for updating us. I’m pleased to see that the social worker is recommending Child in Need from October. Here is our Child in Need advice sheet if you’d like more information about it: http://www.frg.org.uk/images/Advice_She ... rvices.pdf.

Just so you are clear Josey, the review child protection conference in October will run in a very similar way to the initial conference. The purpose of the child protection review conference is to look at whether or not there are still serious concerns about the safety of the children and how well the parents can care for and protect them. In other words this meeting decides whether the children are still suffering or is likely to suffer significant harm.

Each of the professionals there will get to say whether they think there should be a child protection plan, child in need plan or no plan at all and then the Chair person will make the final decision. There is more information in the children protection advice sheet I linked to in my last post.

However, it is obviously extremely positive that the social worker will be recommending that there should be a child in need plan. Well done for coming so far in such a short amount of time and for working so well with the professionals.

Good luck with the rest of you pregnancy and best wishes,

Suzie.

[Josey78]

Thank you Suzie! Well someone maliciously rang off duty social care team yesterday to say my partner was in my house. He most certainly wasn't and nor was I. My mum was with the children in my home and let the police do the search. I spoke to the officers on the phone and they said it was a female caller. I can honestly say he hasn't been near my children at all and has not been in the family. I do not believe it to be ss who have made the call but think it is something to do with my partners ex. Funny how it was the day before court!!! Anyway there's nothing of his there either and Police said it was fine and could see it was obviously a bogus call. No one knows about what's going on though apart from the three people who have caused this... They really want to stop cause it is not looking good for them....