No idea what is going to happen

[devon82]

I find myself in a very complex and life changing situation. Will provide a simple timeline below. I have used fake dates , so not accurate

UK (Midlands)

2016 – Split with partner with whom I have 1 daughter with (born 2013)

2017 - Enter new relationship in November

2017 – November Ex partner makes allegation of slime on daughter’s PJ’s inferring sexual act, police arrest and conduct forensics, nothing found, apart from toy slime product from toy shop. After 26 days NFA

2018 – New (2nd) allegation after I apply to family court of “weeing into a bin and playing with willy”
Police also NFA this and Family court progresses to fact finding.

2019 – Judge makes final order for contact. All is well until 2023

2023 – August 1st – Police arrest based on allegation of sexual assault on daughter dated to 3 years ago. Released on bail for 2 months. Inform police that daughter stayed at my parents 3 years ago so not possible

2023 – October 5th – Return for bail and told that allegation has now changed to 1 year ago, police also re-arrest based on finding 40 x CAT C images. On my phone. They do not show me but what they describe appears to be family photos of daughter at beach flying kite, at home on bed wearing t-shirt and pants and in bed on ipad or with cuddly lion toy. They also state images from Instagram that appear to be gymnast photos which my daughter did view on Instagram as she does gymnastics.

ABE - My daughter has repeated the allegation from 2017 word for word (the one that was NFA) during her ABE. She has repeated the allegation Step Dad made on 1st Aug dating to 3 years but now changed to 1 year ago (since i told them she didn't stay 3 years ago)

The phone download was completed on 3rd October and revealed 40 images of daughter that they class as indecent , at beach just wearing shorts, wearing tshirt-pants at home, what I consider family photos but they class as Cat C - they have now Seized all other devices from my home, my mums phone, my daughters tablet, even same family photo usb sticks they took years ago, again. (note my daughter lives with ex not me and had fortnightly contact)

As you can imagine I am at my wits end, and now wait until start of Dec bail return and now uncertain I will ever see my daughter again or what could possibly happen, if they will count the CAT C images as proof enough to prosecute for everything. My health is not normally good with immune system and it’s taken a huge knock with this I’m struggling on a daily basis with cognitive impairment. I did speak to the duty solicitor afterwards and there is not much they can offer in terms of advice at the moment.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Devon82,

Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.

You share a daughter with your ex-partner. You were first accused by your ex-partner of sexual assault of your daughter in 2017. You were arrested but this resulted in no further action. A second allegation was made in 2018 during family law proceedings. These proceedings ended with an order for contact. You were arrested in 2023 on allegations of sexual assault on your daughter 3 years ago. You were released on bail and say that your daughter had stayed with your parents at this time 3 years ago. These allegations then changed to 1 year ago, and you were also re-arrested based on the finding of 40 CAT C images on your phone of your daughter, which you say were family photos. Your daughter has given an ABE interview in which she has repeated the same allegation. All other devices have now been seized for analysis. You say you are at your wits end and that you are uncertain if you will ever see your daughter again. You have spoken to a duty solicitor but did not receive much advice.

Firstly I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your current situation. Unfortunately, I cannot advise on the criminal aspect of your case, and would need to speak to a criminal solicitor about this. You may find it helpful to speak to Nacro on 0300 123 1999 or the Lucy Faithful foundation on 0808 1000 900, who can advise and provide information.

In relation to contact with your daughter, I expect this currently limited by your bail conditions and that you will have to follow these. If you would like to vary these conditions, please do speak to your solicitor. You do not mention whether children’s services are involved – in some cases, contact can be considered following a risk assessment from children’s services.

Going forward, how contact with your daughter looks will dependant on the outcome of the investigation and whether you are charged/convicted or any offences. If you are convicted of an offence, you may be given a sexual harm prevention order (SHPO) which may place restrictions on your contact.

Even if you are not charged, or convicted, children’s services may stay involved due to concerns about your daughter’s allegations. You may find that even if there are no legal restrictions placed on your contact with your daughter, children’s services may recommend against this happening or your daughter’s mother not facilitate this. In this situation, you may want to seek the advice of a family law solicitor with regards to applying to the family courts for contact – as you have done previously.

If you are feeling desperate or overwhelmed by your current situation, please do speak to your GP. You can also call the Samaritans on 116 123 any time of the day.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.