As you can imagine I’m feeling quite anxious at the moment, especially given I have PTSD from the last time children’s services were involved in my life (among other things)
Basically I’m worried about the pool of perpetrators I was left on for an injury I didn’t cause. Currently everything in my life is great and stable, and so I’m worried that it’ll be the pool from 2018 that could take our baby away, since I’m now in a happy relationship etc.
So I was wondering if they’ll take the fact I had unsupervised care of my children (one for 4.5 years and one for 7.5 months) with no issues into account?
Will they also take into account that my late son passed away due to his dad leaving him to suffocate - the coroner said his dad caused his death in 2019.
Will children’s services take this new information into account and then, also baring in mind the pool I was left in was a 50/50, will this help give them confidence that I will not hurt my new baby?
Will the passage of time help?
I don’t want to go the rest of my life not having the opportunity to be a mother, and I don’t want me and my partner to loose our baby, because of an injury that i still don’t have answers for.
Will this help me?
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Will this help me?
Dear JulyBabyComing
Thank you for your further posts. I am going to respond to all three in this post response.
It is understandable that you are feeling anxious about the current situation regarding your unborn baby. No amount of reassurance from me or anyone else is going to stop the anxiety you feel.
It is good that your meeting with the midwife was positive in some respect but the main issue for you is the fact that you were left in the pool of perpetrators during the care case brought by children’s services. I think that being in the pool of perpetrators does not necessarily mean that a person caused the actual injury but there was a possibility that anyone of the persons in the pool could have caused it.
In your case, subsequently, it was found by the coroner that responsibility for you son’s death was the father’s. This is a finding that may be considered by children’s services who are looking at you now, it does not remove you from the pool. You may want to get advice from a solicitor whether you can apply to the court for a declaration to be made about you continuing in the pool of perpetrators.
As you have been advised previously, children’s services will assess you as you are now. You are in a completely different relationship so that will be an important part of their assessment. One issue that may be of concern is that you did not know what happened to your son and not in a position to explain how it might have happened. The coroner might have had information that the family court did not have. If you gave evidence at the inquest did that give a better picture to the coroner of what might have happened or did the father, make admissions to the inquest since there was, it seems a clear decision from what you say, the father was found to have caused the death.
Children’s services will consider the whole of your present circumstances when considering the plan going forward. So far, from the posts you have made it seems that you are getting positive feedback, but this does not alleviate the worry and anxiety you have.
Unfortunately, the answer you want, which I am not able to give is that your baby will not be removed. As previously stated, you will be looked at as you are now, weight is likely to be given to the coroner’s findings, your contact with your children, your stable domestic violence free relationship will all be factors considered.
As difficult as you might find it try to look at all the positives rather than focussing on the single issue. This is not the only thing (being in the pool) for children’s services to consider.
My advice is that you should continue to work positively with all the professionals. Get help from your GP for your anxiety as you do not want this to be a negative when it comes to your ability to care for your baby.
Best wishes
Suzie
Thank you for your further posts. I am going to respond to all three in this post response.
It is understandable that you are feeling anxious about the current situation regarding your unborn baby. No amount of reassurance from me or anyone else is going to stop the anxiety you feel.
It is good that your meeting with the midwife was positive in some respect but the main issue for you is the fact that you were left in the pool of perpetrators during the care case brought by children’s services. I think that being in the pool of perpetrators does not necessarily mean that a person caused the actual injury but there was a possibility that anyone of the persons in the pool could have caused it.
In your case, subsequently, it was found by the coroner that responsibility for you son’s death was the father’s. This is a finding that may be considered by children’s services who are looking at you now, it does not remove you from the pool. You may want to get advice from a solicitor whether you can apply to the court for a declaration to be made about you continuing in the pool of perpetrators.
As you have been advised previously, children’s services will assess you as you are now. You are in a completely different relationship so that will be an important part of their assessment. One issue that may be of concern is that you did not know what happened to your son and not in a position to explain how it might have happened. The coroner might have had information that the family court did not have. If you gave evidence at the inquest did that give a better picture to the coroner of what might have happened or did the father, make admissions to the inquest since there was, it seems a clear decision from what you say, the father was found to have caused the death.
Children’s services will consider the whole of your present circumstances when considering the plan going forward. So far, from the posts you have made it seems that you are getting positive feedback, but this does not alleviate the worry and anxiety you have.
Unfortunately, the answer you want, which I am not able to give is that your baby will not be removed. As previously stated, you will be looked at as you are now, weight is likely to be given to the coroner’s findings, your contact with your children, your stable domestic violence free relationship will all be factors considered.
As difficult as you might find it try to look at all the positives rather than focussing on the single issue. This is not the only thing (being in the pool) for children’s services to consider.
My advice is that you should continue to work positively with all the professionals. Get help from your GP for your anxiety as you do not want this to be a negative when it comes to your ability to care for your baby.
Best wishes
Suzie
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