Is there any hope?

[Mama R]

I'm new to this only just found the site.
I'm wondering if there anybody can give me a little hope.
8yr ago my daughter then 3yr old fell off her trike head first down the garden steps, once cleaned up I found it was only a graze to her nose so didn't go to doctors as we'd been many times and always told same thing, give calpol keep awake for an hr then life as normal unless signs that something wrong. 3 days later I had police at my door, somebody (i now know was my mother had reported my daughters injuries, they talked to me, my partner, his mother (who we wee living with & my daughter, then went away apparently satisfied. I admit that in the course of keeping her nose clean to avoid infection I inadvertently cause some small fingertip bruises on my daughters cheeks, as soon as I realised I stoped holding her face to clean her nose, but a few days later when we saw the health visitor, she sent us to the hospital. There was a social worker waiting & I was told I could not take my daughter home. There was a finding of fact hearing wich concluded that my daughter had none accidental injuries & my grandma was given special guardianship, I could not be ruled out as a perpetrator, but was considered the least likely to have caused the injuries. now in september 2012 I found out I was pregnant, I contacted the LA & requested an assessment of my unborn child, I cooperated fully & despite my parenting skills never being questioned requested & attended classes, the assessment raised concerns around my partner (the same partner I had recomenced the relationship following the final hearing & signing the special guardianship as I never believed that he had done anything we had been together 8yr as of feb 2013) so we made the decision to end our relationship to give the best chance for our baby to come home to me, 2 weeks later on 8th may 2013 my beautiful baby boy was born, I agreed to stay in hospital with 24 hr supervision until the court hearing. Wich turned out to be the next day, my boy was then taken into foster care until a judge made a desision about his long term care, the final hearing is set for 2nd october 2013, I have never had a drug or alcohol problem, I have no criminal record, & until the indecent that caused her removal from my care there had been zero concerns about my care of my daughter, I've completed a parenting assessment wich gives a completely positive report,
my contact reports are all positive, even the chair of the looked after reviews said I have gone above & beyond & can't be faulted on a thing. But it's not enough LA want to send my son to my lesbian cousin & her wife in scotland who sated that they want to adopt him, do I have any chance of the judge siding with me & letting me bring my baby home? I know we'll have a social worker & that his dad will only be aloud supervised contact & I'll happily agree to all that I'll even move & not tell anybody other than LA where we are so nobody can turn up at house to try & visit I just want my baby home I'll do anything, I hope somebody on here can give me some hope.
Ps I get 3hrs mon to friday supervised contact.

[lovemybaby]

hi mama r. u posted back to mine just read your story. real sad... my son had bruises to the face.. we went to hosp for a routine checkup. ss were called, taken in to foster care... 2 years after that the final decision was adoption... i see him couple times a year. i had anther child since. shes now almost 1. did all the assessments...was negative. and ss wanted adoption. my pycologist report was brilliant.. no mental health issues ect... so had our final hearing. i put forward.. home on any order... me live with family... a mother and baby foster placement and a mother and baby unit. 2nd day of hearing pycologist was up giving evidence and ss changed their care plan giving me an opportunity to do a placement for 12 weeks... have u recently done any courses? this really helped me. i did freedom domestic violence.. recovery toolkit with CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) the family journey at surestarts... bonding with baby.. weaning.. learning with words ect. i even got to breastfeed her for a few month. first aid courses... self esteem.. confidence courses.. there is definetly hope!!!!!! u gotta work for it.. and believe in yourself!! im very lucky with all my family behind me after i pushed them away when i was dealing with my first child in proceedings. i wish you all the luck in october! be brave and yourself. talk to the judge with confidence. ive met many people in same position who now are caring for their children on no care order! it CAN happen! i never thought id say that! but here we are! lots of love to u x

[Mama R]

Hi lovemybaby, thanks for posting back, I'm so relived to here you were given a chance sadly I have zore contact with either side of my family, but yes I'm completing courses I'm half way through freedom (wich I could bloody teach lol) I've done mellow bumps, & have put myself into mellow babies wich starts in sept, I've done baby massage for bonding & give my son his massage everyday at contact wich he loves, I found an independent agency & had a phycological evaluation done & have asked for one to one talking therapies plus I'm starting EMDR & CBT with my GP (i sufered depression when my daughter was taken away) I've also managed to find a health & social care course at my local surestart wich fits in around contact & as they supervise my contact have agreed to hold a cresh placement for my son so that I can continue if he comes hom, I've asked for mother & baby unit ect but ss just said not needed. I also found a friend willing to live with us as a safegard but they said had to be for 14 yrs wich I couldn't put anybody in that position so gave the idea up. Thanks for the good news story it's a real boost xx

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mama R,
I can see that lovemybaby has posted really helpful information, advising you of her case in court and how it is important not to give up but continue working hard towards your baby coming home.
If you have not done so, you could also read through our advice sheet about care and related proceedings.
care proceedings. As well as setting out the court process, it gives important advice about working with your legal team. What does your solicitor say would help your case further? Are you waiting for any further psychological assessments? Do you have a supportive friend’s network? What is the guardian’s position?
When a family member takes on the long term care of a child, the issue of your contact with baby will be considered. What is the local authority’s plan for contact between you and your baby?

Why is adoption being considered when it is a family placement? What about a private law order such as a special guardianship order or residence order instead of an adoption order?

You could raise these questions when you next meet with your solicitor. These are just some general pointers which I hope will help but please post back or call our advice line if you want to discuss further.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Mama R]

Hi suzie thanks for posting, ss are saying SG order but my cousin first said she only wanted him if could adopt & raise as own, I know she just playing along to get my son & would then find a way to cut me out, I've raised all my issues regarding her with ss via my solicitor, but they don't care, there's nothing more I can do to improve my chances as I've already done everything asked & more so it's now a waiting game, did get a little good news this week, I finally got to talk to guardian & found that social workers lied at the looked after review, they told me (with my solicitor present) that guardian had made her recommendations & was in agreement with there plan for him to go to my cousin, she has said no such thing & hadn't even had all the reports yet, so there still a chance (although small) that she could side with me wich would make all the differance at court

[Mama R]

P.S no I don't have much of a support network, all my good friends are connected somehow to my ex & although we ended on good terms ss have issue with him, so I've had to distance myself from everybody to show that I am not involved with him in any way even through association, the few people left seem to be backing away from me but I expected that it happened last time, one thing I know is something like this shows you who your true friends are.

[Mama R]

Just thought I'd update this post for anybody who reads it later down the line.
The final hearing was delayed until November due to ss only completing half the paperwork (the stuff that was all about their plan & nothing else) judge wasn't happy with them & made them go back & redo. He then in November sent me home with my son on A FULL RESIDENTS ORDER! I agreed to a 12 month supervision order because I wanted ss to be involved incase anybody made false reports (which they have) but ss have no power whatsoever they have now even admitted that my son is thriving in my care & they have no concerns!
After 6 month's of hell on earth & only 3 hours a day supervised contact I won! So don't give up, it can be done, good luck to anybody who's fighting ♡

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear MamaR

Congratulations on your success which gives hope to other parents in this situation.

Best Wishes

Suzie