Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

So since my baby was born social services asked me to sign my baby over for adoption, of course i didn't sign the paper, so they went to court to try and take my baby, the judge disagreed and i was able to take my baby girl home. But they didn't stop there they were adamant to take my baby so they came to my home every day with services involved. When my baby was about 4 months old, the social worker said we are taking you to court i asked for what reason but she said she didn't have to explain because the concern had been made anonymously, of course she was telling lies, and you know i haven't seen that social worker since, a male social worker came to court who id only met once for half hour at my sons infant school he came into court and told a pack of lies that he read of a piece of paper. The judge agreed with him and granted a care order for both my children, that my children live at home with me but they share parental responsibility. My little girl is now 7 and yes the care order is still in place, for the past 4 years social services say that in the next LAC meeting the care order will be discharged but then another social worker comes along and we are back to square one. The only concern they have is to make sure my children are in school every day. My son is now 14 and social services have made his school life hell interfering, he started high school, if he got into any trouble they stook there nose in, he got stick off other pupils for it. They have never ever helped us in any way, how on earth can they say its shared responsibility they don't love my children like i do, they don't pay the bills they put food on the table, they're not there when my children are poorly. Looked after children how on earth can they say that the look after a child. All they have done is made our lives hell caused me so much anxiety and trauma. I was just wondering if any one relates to what im saying. After 7 years they obviously know my children want for nothing they should just leave us alone, i don't want them going to my children's school all the time having to attend meetings every other week it's not fair on my children. The whole school knows they're involved i don't want that for my children it's not fair. Do you agree?

Dear Frazor

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. I can see that you are finding it difficult having continued social work involvement with your two children. The children live with you but children’s services have a Care Order for them.
You are concerned that your son is stigmatised because of this. Although children’s services have at times talked about ending the care order this has never happened.

You are clearly working very hard to care for your children but don’t feel that children’s services involvement is needed or that it helps in any way.

The main concern at the moment seems to be ensuring that the children attend school regularly. If you, with or without children’s services’ help, can make sure that the children are at school regularly, then you can formally (in writing) ask them to properly consider applying to end the Care Order. If they are not happy to do so, ask them to confirm, with reason, why not.

You should also raise this at the children’s Looked After Child review so that their Independent Reviewing Officer(IRO) is aware of your request. They must consider at each review if the care plan continues to meet the children’s needs.

If children’s services are not willing to apply to end the order and you disagree with this you can consider going back to court to ask the court to decide if the care order should be revoked. You can find out more about how to do this here. You would need to show a real change in circumstances and why this is no longer needed. It would be a good idea to get legal advice if you can before doing so.

As your son is very unhappy with the current situation he can let the social worker and/or IRO know. If you think that he would benefit from having an advocate to help his views be heard at the LAC meeting, you can ask the social worker and IRO to arrange advocacy for him. We have a guide to children’s advocacy here which includes details of children’s advocacy services.

I hope this has been helpful.

Please post back if you have any questions.

Best wishes

Suzie

Can you believe it's been nearly 9 years that these people still share so called parental responsibility where my children remain living at home as they always have with me. And still at 96% school attendance . They have still not discharged this order. Where there is never any reports written when a meeting is coming up the last meeting was cancelled 3 times after ss were asked months before . It's due to not having any staff at the time then when someone does finally come on the seen they want me to an assessment with a woman we don't even know filling her in on years of our lives that they have tried all ways to take my children away from me. And i have kept every single letter from day one. Me and my children have gone through hell and heartache between the private family court where ive been silenced . So to this day the 30th stranger tells me that if i work with her that this as gone on long enough that she needs my help to work on discharging the order . But the sw manager asked me to call into her office just before the summer holidays to tell me that unless my 8 year old daughters attendance at school is not 100% then there will be no dischargeing the care order. She told me that there will be no 98% that's my children they are making our lives a misery . Our human rights to a happy private family life are not being legally cared for by any one . My children are happy at home we all are . I need to fight back every single time and it's traumatising to say the least

Hi Frazor,

I’ve read your latest post and my heart breaks for you. What you and your children have been put through for nine years is a disgrace. You've shown incredible strength, and your frustration is completely justified.

The advice to just keep asking them to do the right thing is pointless after nine years. You're right, it's time to fight back, but you need the right ammunition. Let's get you prepared.

First, Understand Why You Are in the Right (The Legal Facts)
You need to know that you are not just morally right, you are legally right. Their position is indefensible, and here's why:

"Significant Harm" is the Test, and They Can't Meet It: A Care Order can only be kept in place if your children are at risk of "significant harm." A school attendance of 96% is not a risk of significant harm. It's a bureaucratic excuse, and it would never stand up in court if challenged properly.

The "100% Attendance" Demand is Unlawful: This is their biggest mistake. No court in the UK would ever demand 100% school attendance. It's an impossible standard. By setting an impossible goal, the manager is creating an unlawful barrier to discharging the order. This is a clear abuse of her power.

They Are Breaching -Your Human Rights: Forcing your family to live under this level of scrutiny for nine years, without a valid reason, is a profound breach of your- Article 8 Right to a Private and Family Life-. The constant meetings, the stigma for your son at school, and the trauma for you are the evidence of this breach.

*Your Action Plan: A Three-Front Attack
After nine years of being ignored, you need to attack from all sides. A simple complaint isn't enough.

1. The Final Warning Shot (The Letter Before Action)
You need to go over their heads and put them on formal notice that their time is up. Send the following email to the Director of Children's Services and the Chief Executive of the Council. Copy in your MP and the IRO. This is not a request; it's a formal legal warning.
=======================================
Subject: URGENT - Formal Notice of Intention to Seek Discharge and Costs for Unlawful Care Order for [Children's Names]

To the Director of Children's Services,

I am putting you on formal notice regarding the Care Order for my children, [Children's Names], which has now been unlawfully extended for almost nine years while they have remained in my care.

This order is no longer justified. The only reason provided for its continuation is school attendance, which at 96% does not meet the legal threshold of "significant harm." Furthermore, your manager has set an unlawful and impossible condition of 100% attendance for discharge.

This is a breach of my family's Article 8 rights and an abuse of your statutory power.

I demand that the Local Authority files an application with the court to discharge this Care Order within 28 days.

If you fail to do so, I will file the application myself. In those proceedings, I will present this letter as evidence of your unreasonable conduct and will be seeking a full costs order against the Local Authority for forcing me to take action you should have taken years ago.

I expect a written response to this letter within 7 working days.

Yours Sincerely,
[Your Name]
===================================================
2. Prepare Your Own Court Application
Don't wait for them. Act now. Contact solicitors who have a Legal Aid contract. With nine years of evidence, you have a very strong case to get funding for an application to the court yourself under Section 39 of the Children Act 1989 to have the order discharged. Taking this step shows them you are serious.

3. Give Your Son a Voice
Your son has been harmed by this process. At his next review meeting, you should formally request that the IRO arrange an independent advocate for him from a service like the National Youth Advocacy Service (NYAS). An advocate is a professional who will speak for him, separately from you and from social services. His voice, explaining the shame and stigma this has caused him at school, is powerful evidence that the order is now doing more harm than good.

You have all the evidence you need. It is time to stop being their victim and start being their opponent.

Frazor wrote: Mon Aug 18, 2025 8:42 am Can you believe it's been nearly 9 years that these people still share so called parental responsibility where my children remain living at home as they always have with me. And still at 96% school attendance . They have still not discharged this order. Where there is never any reports written when a meeting is coming up the last meeting was cancelled 3 times after ss were asked months before . It's due to not having any staff at the time then when someone does finally come on the seen they want me to an assessment with a woman we don't even know filling her in on years of our lives that they have tried all ways to take my children away from me. And i have kept every single letter from day one. Me and my children have gone through hell and heartache between the private family court where ive been silenced . So to this day the 30th stranger tells me that if i work with her that this as gone on long enough that she needs my help to work on discharging the order . But the sw manager asked me to call into her office just before the summer holidays to tell me that unless my 8 year old daughters attendance at school is not 100% then there will be no dischargeing the care order. She told me that there will be no 98% that's my children they are making our lives a misery . Our human rights to a happy private family life are not being legally cared for by any one . My children are happy at home we all are . I need to fight back every single time and it's traumatising to say the least

Dear Frazor,

Thank you for your post.

I am sorry to hear how stressed and frustrated you are feeling. Your emotional response is understandable.

As it stands the local authority legally share parental responsibility for the children with you under the care order. You feel that children’s services assessment process to inform their decision on whether to apply to discharge the care order has become protracted and unfocussed and that the care order is no longer necessary nor in the children’s best interests. Several staff changes and staff shortages have not helped.

You mention that the social work team manager recently told you that 100 per cent school attendance for your daughter is the standard that the children’s services seek before they would be willing to consider making the application to discharge the care order.
Increased school attendance has been mentioned before as a goal for your family, and you agree that the opportunities for learning and social contact that school provides are more available to your daughter if she is in class consistently.

However, 100 per cent school attendance does seem idealistic for any family. Children do get viruses and ailments from time to time that interrupt the best laid plans. Is it possible for you to talk with the social worker and the social work team manager about how you agree that consistent school attendance is an aim, but are stressed about this unrealistic target?

As has been mentioned before in this thread you could consider seeking leave of the court to apply for discharge of the care order yourself and have the court consider the issues. You can read more about this here.

If you are seeking advocacy support for your children the Family Rights Group guide for children working with advocates is here. This guide contains contact details for advocacy organisations.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes,
Suzie

Hi Frazor,

I’ve just seen the latest reply from the adviser, and I felt I had to post one last time.

Hi Frazor,

I just wanted to add my support. It's clear you're in an incredibly difficult position. One thing that stands out to me is the 100% attendance demand. From a legal standpoint, that is not a reasonable or lawful condition for a Care Order, and it's a very powerful point in your favour.

You have a few different paths you can take here. One is the path of negotiation and discussion with the team, and another is a more formal, rights-based approach that puts the Director of Children's Services on notice directly. After nine years of frustration, a formal approach might be the ONLY way to get them to take this seriously.

I've written up a template for a "Letter Before Action" based on my own experiences that you could adapt. It's probably a bit too detailed to post on the main forum, but if you'd like me to send it to you in a private message, just let me know.

Stay strong. You have more power here than you think.