What to do in his situation with SS

[Shortie73]

Hi, I was wondering if someone could offer some advice on my partner’s situation,
He has a 3 year old son with his wife, whom he has separated, and ever since splitting up with her, he has been consistent keeping up with contact with his son and he is a brilliant dad.
In October last year, he was arrested and put on police bail, for sexual assault on a minor, and due to the nature, social services (who were already involved for other reasons) put my partner on supervised contact.
The supervised contact was arranged to be with his ex, which he has found difficult, and is hardly an ideal situation to start, as there has been minor domestic violence problems in the past, and she can also be very argumentative and aggressive, but, because social services put this in place, and utmost because its spending time with his son, he has stuck to it.
We got together at the beginning of the year, we have been friends for years, and he asked the social worker at the time if I could have the checks necessary to supervise the contact, and they took my details.
Shortly afterwards, he answered bail, and was also accused of a further offence of rape on the same person as the previous accusation.
Contact continued, supervised and a new social worker was appointed, and my partner was informed that they had no record of the request of supervision to be with myself, despite his concerns of it being with his ex, and as he felt the need to have his son away from his mother as much as possible, as she was giving him cause for concern, with her temper, which has been directed at his son verbally and physically, and even towards social services and other authorities working alongside them, along with other worries he has.
He is between a rock and a hard place, as if he voices his concerns with his ex, it causes more confrontation, even around his son, which he does not want, and also because she is fond of making up stories, and he is also worried that she will stop him seeing his son, or if social services take his son into care, because of the concerns, he will not be able to take him full time, because of the supervised contact that is in place.
As this was continuing, my partner came across some black & white evidence that he put forward to the police in regards to the awful accusations, and after a week or so, the police called to inform him that the two accusations he was on bail for had been dropped. We were ecstatic, I never doubted his innocence, I know for a fact as a person, he was not capable of such awful things. But most of all he was happy because he knew it was an end to being basically controlled by social services and his ex.
He called the social worker the day after to see where he then stood with supervision, as he knew she was going on holiday for 3 weeks, she said to him, ‘I’ve spoken to my manager and we agree that supervision should stay as it is’ he believes it was possibly too much hassle for her to sort out at such short notice. After about a week, I went with him to social services and spoke to the duty, he voiced his frustrations, he was not on supervised before all the accusations, and now he has been cleared, why should this still be the case? And we also specified our opinions in regards to the worries we have with his ex’s anger towards his son, as I have witnessed it as well. That was about a month ago, yet again, nothing has been done.
My partner spoke to the family support worker, and she suggested, and has done, a home visit to inspect our house, and expressed she has no issues whatsoever.
Just over a week ago, a duty social worker visited his ex’s house, whilst he was there spending time with his son on a contact day, when my partner asked her why he wasn’t able to have unsupervised contact, her words were in reference to the accusations ‘mud sticks’.
Could anyone please advise us on what can be done and are social services well within their rights to keep him on supervised contact, and refer to him as basically being what he has been cleared of?
And to add, social services have never had any concerns about my partners fathering, only the previous DV with the ex, which he has attended an IDAP course, which was many years ago and nothing since.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello Shortie

Welcome to the discussion boards and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at FRG. I am sorry to read about the difficult situation that your partner is dealing with in relation to his son and the involvement of Children’s Services (Social Services).

Children’s Services are not in a position to legally enforce arrangements around contact, including in relation to supervision of contact. Clearly, however, they have a responsibility to safeguard and protect children and this includes making a recommendation that contact should be supervised if they believe this is necessary.

Although the police have dropped their investigation against your partner, Children’s Services continue to have concerns, which is not unusual in these circumstances. They have a right to continue with their own child protection investigation and to advise that all contact is supervised during this process.

As I have said, your partner and his child’s mother are not legally bound to follow this advice. If they do not, however, they run the risk of Children’s Services increasing their concerns and escalating the situation, e.g. taking the matter to court. In addition, in your partner’s situation, his ex is clearly not supportive of his position and would be unlikely to argue that contact should take place without her supervision. In fact, even if Children’s Services were to recommend that contact is supervised by you, for example, they could not force her to co-operate with this if she did not accept it.

The only way for your partner to secure contact with his son would be through the family courts (e.g. a contact order). I would certainly advise your partner to take some legal advise about this- from a family law solicitor if possible or, if he is unable to engage a solicitor, he could take some free legal advice from the Children’s Legal Centre.

As I am sure your are aware, however, it is also important for your partner to continue to engage with Children’s Services, particularly as they would be asked to report to the court if he did make an application in relation to contact etc. It is important that he works co-operatively with Children’s Services to reduce their concerns about him and, hopefully, move to the position where they feel able to recommend a more appropriate contact arrangement as well as taking on board his concerns about his son in his mothers care.

You have mentioned that Children’s Services were already involved with your partner’s son and I wonder if he is subject to a child protection plan? If so, I would advise that your partner continues to engage with this process, attending all relevant meetings etc. I would also advise that he puts his position clearly in writing to the social worker and the chair of his son’s child protection conferences, setting out;

· His specific concerns about the care his son is currently receiving
· His specific concerns about the contact arrangements and why these are not in his son’s best interests
· What arrangements and future planning he believes would be best for his son

In addition to asking clear questions including;

· What is being done to address the concerns he is raising about his ex’s care of his son
· What is Children’s Services position regarding contact and their specific reason for this view
· What assessments have been carried out regarding contact to date, what further assessments are planned and the timescales for these
· What further expectations do Children’s Services have of him and is there anything further they would like him to do to reassure them of his ability to care for his son safely and without supervision

It is important that your partner is constructive and positive in his correspondence, that he emphasises that his son is his priority and he wants only what is in his best interests and that he assures Children’s Services that he is keen to work in partnership with them to secure the best outcome for his son.

I hope that this is helpful. I would advise that you and/ or your partner have a look at our advice sheets for further information, particularly regarding the child protection process but also in relation to advocacy and complaints. You may also wish to contact our free and confidential advice line 0808 801 0366 to discuss the matter with an adviser directly (Monday- Friday, 9.30am- 3pm)

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser