Problems with the Social services

[not happy.]

The social services got invoved when the police came to my home for my ex-partner over 16 months ago. they were telling me allsorts, and because of a drug habit i moved my daughter to my grandparents house for a bit until i sorted myself out.
The social then told me i couldnt move my daughter back to my care and if i did then they would get an Emergency protection order on me to take my daughter into care. They put my daughter on a 'child in need' plan, and we have been going to pre-proceedings meetings, child in need meetings and loads more.

They then made a 'contract of expectations' and told me i couldnt have my daughter un supervised. Last January they told me that if i did 6 months worth of clean drug tests then i can have my daughter unsupervised. and could start to have her for a few nights a week until she got used to being back with me. The 6 months came, and i had 2 times a week,6months worth of clean drug tests, and the social then told me that they didnt believe the tests (eventhough it was them who told me to do them) so then asked if i would do a hair follicle test to prove i really havent used any drug. I did this test, which took 4 months to sort out.. And the tests results came back about 5 weeks after, all NEGATIVE. I had told the ss that it would come back this way, but they kept saying to me that they know i am still using and why dont i just tell them.?! I had been telling them for 9 months now that i have not used at all, and will never ever again. but they dont believe me. They have now said that the scientists that did my hair follicle tests have got it wrong, and the test results are wrong.
Absolute PATHETIC! I have never seen anything like it or met anyone so un professional in all my life. They lie about me, make up things about me, say ive said something which i havent, they are an absolute disgrace. I cant believe what they are doing, i even had two social workers sat in my house and told me 'I know your daughter is well looked after and you would not hurt her, we just want to take her into care.' I couldnt believe what i was hearing, everyone who has not had the ss involved in their life think they are there to help and they are NOT!!!!!
they are only there to mess up your life, and make you sound 1000000x worse! I should of told the ss where to go the first time they rang me, but obviously because i didnt think they could actually be this bad, i let them round and was honest with them from the start.
They have made me feel like I shouldnt of gone for help off the drugs, the make you feel so low and try to depress you, im more stressed than ever now because of what they have said, and what they are doing.

Eventhough there is no order in place, and nothing at all signed, the ss still saying that if i take my daughter then thy will get this E.P.O and she will be taken into care, and then will be nearly impossible to get her back. I have lost trust for everyone now, i dont speak to anybody about it (a professional), I have told the ss im not going to be telling them anything else from now on because they twist everything and say ive said something i havent!! I really dont know what to do now, I dont know whether taking it to court myself is a good thing because ive been told that taking it to court is the wrong thing, I hate this situation.

There is no reason my daughter to not be back with me, she has never been in any danger at all with me, I have got rid of my violent ex-partner last year and have been with a new partner nearly a year now and my daughter loves him to bits! I see her daily, and you can tell how strong our bond is, the ss just see what they want to see.
The ss even told me months ago, that my current partner cannot speak to my daughter over the phone, cannot see her, if he sees her walking down the road he has got to CROSS THE ROAD AND NOT SPEAK OR EVEN LOOK AT HER. they are ANIMALS..
Obviously when they told me this, i told them i am the one with 'Parental Responsibility' and they cannot tell me who my daughter can or cant see or speak to. They couldnt do anything about it, and my partner is still seeing her to this day with me . I just want her back now ive had enough of it all now,

THE SOCIAL SERVICES ARE NOT THERE TO HELP YOU THEY ARE THERE TO GET INFORMATION OUT OF YOU AND TO TURN IT ROUND TO MAKE ASSESSMENTS ABOUT YOU IN COURT, THE LESS YOU SAY THE BETTER.YOU DONT NEED TO SAY ANYTHING TO THE SOCIAL SERVICES, NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY THREATEN YOU! IVE HAD IT ALL, THEY HAVE THREATENED ME WITH' IF YOU DONT TELL US THEN IT WILL GO BAD ON YOU IN COURT AND YOUR DAUGHTER WILL BE TOOK INTO CARE'!
Please could someone help me or give me some advice if they are in the same, or kind of the same situation.
thanks.

[seekingsupport]

Hello,

Sorry to hear about what you're going through. My situation is a little different to yours but I know a fair bit about SS now as a result of what I am going through.
Is your little one still with your grandparents under a contract of expectations? Do you have a solicitor or have you taken legal advice at all? I would strongly advise you to if you haven't.
Regarding the drug tests - I'm a bit unclear - is it that all of your tests have come back totally clear and SS are disputing this? Where are the tests taken? Is it like a clinic?
I would always advise anyone to try and work with SS - I know better than most how hard that can be but try to see it as a means to an end. Don't let them get to you, rise above it as much as you can. Think before you speak - I can't stress that enough - be dignified and calm in all dealings with them (and then go home and scream in to a pillow). I really do understand your frustration and the pain of being separated from your child, don't give up xxx

[not happy.]

Yes the SS told me in January to start going for 1 test a week in a clinic, but then after 6 months they said they think i was 'Timing' my drug use so when i went for this urine test it would be clear. So then took it upon myself to go for 2 urine tests a week so it would be impossible for me to time any drug( as im one of them where it stays in my system for over 4 days), then i did this for a few months, then the SS told me to have a hair follicle test. The fella came to my house to take about 20 strands of hair and sent it off to France, then somewhere in manchester, then Liverpool. These people are the ones Ive heard the SS are always using as it is very very accurate. The SS were then telling me in the time of me waiting for the results to come back that 'They know i am still using and why dont i just tell them', eventhough i havent used anything for 9 months now. Anyway yes the results came back all Negative, And now they are saying that the test results are wrong and saying now they are going to write to the company who did the results to dispute this.

As in now only a single person living in a 2 bed house, my rent isnt getting paid fully and im in a mess with rent arrears too, its an absolute joke. The SS may aswell say promised that i would have my daughter back after the 6 months from January but still no sign of me any where near getting her back with me.
I have a solicitor, but cannot trust her what so ever and feel like she doesnt care less. I need to find a solicitor who is going to be there for me, someone to talk to whenever i need advice or anything but just cant seem to find one? I found a different one last week, but they still havent got back in touch with me to tell me if they have spoken to the SS or not. So dont think ill be going with them either.
I dont like talking to the SS at all, as whenever i have done they have twisted all what i have said and put in assessments things what ive never even dreamed of saying.
I just want my daughter back and thats it. The SS know she would never ever be in any danger with me, theyre just trying to make it so difficult for me.
Thanks for writing back anyway
Kelly x

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Kellyxphil,

Welcome to the parents board.

I am sorry to hear that you have had such a stressful and difficult time recently. I understand that your daughter is still living with her grandmother (where you placed her for her safety), that you have stopped using drugs-and that has been proved by drug and hair tests. You are no longer in a domestically abusive relationship. You have been sticking to a contract of expectations.
This is all really good news. However, you are frustrated that children services have not agreed to their side of the plan-more contact leading to your daughter returning home to you.

Currently, you have Parental responsibility for your daughter and children services do not-so they have trusted you to work with them-which you have been doing. They have threatened to go to court (to get parental responsibility) if you should remove your daughter from grandmothers’ care.

From what you say there seems to be an impasse- and no one is moving forward.

What can you do to push for your daughters return home?
I suggest the following:
• As “seekingsupport” has posted, you could ask for advice from a solicitor who specialises in children law. They will be able to write on your behalf to children services setting out your wish for your daughter to return home and asking that this is planned for. They will also be able to advise you whether the local authority have the grounds to go to court or not. You can find a list of solicitors here
law society-find a solicitor
• You could ask the social worker to review the contract of expectations-what do you need to do for your daughter to be returned home to you? When is the next child in need meeting? This could be a place where a discussion takes place. You could think about what professionals-(such as from the drugs team who are testing you) could attend.
• You could ask for an update assessment of your circumstances.
• Ask them to confirm in writing what they are doing in respect of drug testing. Why do they believe that the company has made an error? This issue needs to be sorted out-can you ask them to put in writing what the problem is and how they are dealing with it?
• You could ask that a family group conference be organised. This is where your family and friends network could be invited to a meeting to make a plan of support for your daughter to return home. Have a look at our advice sheet here family group conferences.
• If you feel that no one is listening to you-you could consider challenging the social workers decision by emailing the service manger of children services or making a complaint complaints.
• Are you able to have an advocate from the drug services to help you?

.
Rent Arrears
I am really worried to hear that you are falling into rent arrears as your daughters room is not in use and the “under occupancy rule” or “bedroom tax” is being applied to you. You need to raise this with the social worker as soon as you can. There may be discretionary payments which you could apply for to cover the short fall. If you were to lose your home, it may make it more difficult for your daughter to return to you. For further advice about this, you could contact Shelter


I have given you a lot of information which I hope is has not overwhelmed you. If you need further advice, please post back or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[not happy.]

The SS have said that we have to go to a child-in-need meeting, well the meeting is the Monday after this weekend. I have just rang the SS to ask for their position and are now lying to me saying they have not received any reply off my solicitor when she has wrote to them 3+ times replying to their question, which is why nothing has changed in the situation. They just told me now on the phone that they have changed the meeting to a pre-proceedings meeting not a child-in-need and are putting that back until further notice.

They didn't give me any notice of this meeting changing and i now have to take my solicitor. Absolutely nothing is changing with them, and it is putting me and all my family involved in a lot of stress with it all. They think they are right and everyone else is wrong. I don't know what to do at all. I have been doing everything the SS have asked of me, and i am getting so sick of it i just want my daughter back. I'm so so scared of these meetings with what they will turn round and say to me. Everyone in our family loves my daughter so much, we wouldn't be able to live without her.

They are not there to help, they are just there to criticize me and everyone else! Everyone who hear's of the situation say that the SS are being so pathetic and childish and my daughter should be back with me. Every time you ring the office there is nobody there to answer your calls, nobody ever rings you back. And never tell you of a meeting changing or being cancelled
Just wondering if someone could help me or let me know which solicitor is a good one?
hope to hear back off someone please
thanks

[seekingsupport]

Hiya,
So sorry to hear things are no better. Regarding the solicitor - whereabouts in the country are you? I know of a couple of firms, the solicitors I am using are national too and are excellent.
Your local MP could possibly help too - particularly when it comes to a lack of communication from SS to you. Could you make an appointment with him/her?
Alternatively and as a last resort, I would consider making a formal complaint about the inability to communicate. You need to be careful though as you must be seen as being cooperative and working with SS. Log all of your attempts at communcating with the SW from now on, and any responses, or lack thereof. If it continues and you are not being kept informed, look into the councils complaints process. But, as I say, use it as a last resort.
Xx

[not happy.]

Hi, I have tried making an appointment with my local MP but they told me that because i have a solicitor they cannot help me. I am in Cheshire. I have only just heard that one of the social workers made a deal with one of my family- Shook their hand and told them they will do everything in their powers to keep my daughter with them and so she doesn't come back in my care. That's how bad the SS really are. I have made complaints to the SS before, but they just don't get back to me either ( and neither does the solutions team within the SS department ).

I feel as though everything is out of my hands- The SS told me from the start that if i cooperate with them and tell them the truth they will be there to help and told me all the lies they prob tell everybody else, but now after cooperating so much, they are using it all against me. I was reading through all the assessments before from the past, and over the months they have been involved, their excuses of why my daughter cannot be brought back into my care has gone from bad to worse. I have addressed the issues the SS had with me, and it has all got worse. They say one min it is a problem with the 'drugs' for example.. So then i address that issue with weekly tests,and a hair follicle test, then they say its something else. It really is as though they want me to fail.. Prob so they get the £xxx,xxx they normally get when they foster somebody's child out. I just want my daughter back, iv told them this and they're taking it as all some joke. They wouldn't like it if they had to go home every day and wonder when someone is going to tell them they are 'good enough' to have their children back.

They are picking on vulnerable people all the time. They try to belittle you. They are horrible bullies.

Hope you know a solicitors or anything that will actually help me as all the solicitors I seem to get just want to sit back and let time fly by and I'm living on borrowed time now they've dragged it out this much.
Thanks for writing back anyway, sorry for going on my life is just so stressful now and have nobody i can trust anymore.

[davelectronic]

Sorry to hear your suffering its not pleasant i know, but you have to keep your cool.

Up until nearly a year ago i had no idea how all these ss process worked, i think we have been given similar treatment .

I'l keep it brief, our Daughter was taken into care after we discovered she had been abusing her younger Brother, we have been made to feel the lowest you can imagine, i was made out to be an axe murderer which is completely wrong, my partner a neglectfull mother, oh i've had all the threats as well, i went off to see a solicitors for advise because i knew they where so wrong, i would advise you see one as its the best thing i could have done.

To me they play games with our lifes, just an opinion and one i think i'm entitled to after the grief and stress they have added to my Family.

We had an at risk plan in place for the last 8 months or so which has now been lowered to child in need plan.

Its been a tough old slog but you got to hang in there for your Daughters sake.

You never think these things happen to you, but when they do its life changing i know, but you can still be in control by thinking smart, i'd say yes see a solicitors, but avove all work with these people, to go the opposite way is just a path to missery.

Wish you all the best for the future.

[Antonio's.mum]

I completely agree with you hunni.

My son was taken at 4 days old as they said I was consuming alcohol, I did used to be alcohol dependent. I wasn't consuming alcohol at all, apart from one bottle of beer which I stupidly told them about me being open and honest as I was told to be.

I was also on benzos prescribed by my gp but weaned myself off these by 33 weeks pregnant which again they didn't believe me.

I suffer chronic pancreatitis and was on regular high dose codeine which I tried to reduce but when I had a flare up I needed them and oramorph for the pain. They then said I was harming my own unborn child on purpose.

I had a hair strand test done that was negative for alcohol, benzos etc... Just showed my codeine and prescribed morrphine on it.

They offered me no support what so ever. I was under a perinatal psychiatrist and could have gone into a mum and baby unit but they said again I was lying even though they sent social letters to say so.

I have got to go court this week and they are seeking a care order.

They just take everything and twist it completely!

Let me know how you go on.

Stay strong and I know how hard that is xxx

[Fightsocialservices]

Social Services are totally corrupt liars who twist everything. I have caught them lying numerous times and if you read my plight, you will see what a cruel hypocritical bunch of inhumane people they are. NEVER trust them, NEVER sign anything, ALWAYS record any meeting or phonecall (dont tell them you are doing this) Fight them and dont give up. If at court and they claim your recordings are inadmissable, then when at court, ask if you can refer to your notes, when given permission, start playing the recordings.... if they / the judge ask what you are doing, say you are referring to your AUDIO notes. By then the judge has heard what is said. You are allowed audio notes.

I am fighting the evil of Social services (or anti-social services as it should be) These people dont give a toss about kids, they are out of touch with any reality and total hypocrits. Research your workers on the net and fight them all the way, go public, go to the press... if we all do this then eventually the corruption of the family courts and the secrecy they hide behind will be broken.