Dismissing an SGO

[Provingthemwrong]

So I’m not really sure where to start. I suppose the beginning, I have 2 daughters who live with their paternal aunt under and SGO this was granted in January 2023. Social services had been involved with myself and my ex partner for a while due to his substance misuse, domestic violence and parental mental health issues. Once I was eventually able to remove myself from my ex, I explained to social services that I needed help and support as he had got me using drugs and I had become more dependent on them then I had realised, this was effecting my mental health as well as my ability to fully be there for my 2 daughters. I asked their auntie to take care of them for 2 weeks (advised by social worker) so that I could get help. End of 2 weeks came and social put in an interim care order and would be applying for an SGO. This was in October 2021, in Jan 2023 after a 4 day trial and basically me being questioned for 3 hours straight, the judge decided that I hadn’t done quite enough to have my girls home, my weekly visits dropped to once a month for 6 hours. Both CS and judge said I had a right to apply to have a child arrangement order and then the SGO dismissed.
Since then I have had a son, I have been dismissed from social services and they were so pleased with my progress and my new partner and I we were signed off when my son was 3 months old in May 2024.

I have attempted mediation with the auntie and basically she has shut me out, I see my girls the allocated time but she doesn’t support me having them home, in fact at the next court hearing in January she is claiming that I have lied, am committing fraud and basically made up a lot of lies about me (all of which I can prove is lies) she is asking the court to put an order in place to stop me ever being allowed to apply to have the SGO dismissed and not have my girls home. To add to this my girls are aware their brother lives with me and I also have 3 step children who I care for on and off throughout the month.

Please can I have some advice? Has anyone ever trusted a relative and then they have turned on them? Is an SGO supposed to be this strict? No maternal contact, no maternal family gatherings or birthdays etc yet paternal family gatherings etc all the time.

I’m scared, desperate and I’ve worked so hard to make myself a better person. I’m doing a parenting course in October (3rd one I will have done).

Please any advice, support, words of encouragement. Am I doing the right thing? I worry my girls will be mentally affected thinking I don’t want them home etc.

Sorry for the long post, I’m just a mum trying to prove she has changed for the better and permanently. Thanks in advance

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Provingthemwrong

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

Congratulations on the birth of your son earlier this year. And well done to you and your partner for working well with children’s services. You were able to demonstrate that you can care for him safely, so they were happy to close the case when the baby was 3 months old.

Your daughters remain living with their paternal aunt, under a Special Guardianship Order (SGO), made last year. You explain how this came about due to concerns about your ex-partner and his role in introducing you to drugs which led to you becoming dependent and affected your mental health. You had made significant changes by the time of the final hearing in the care proceedings. Unfortunately, the court decided that the progress you had made was not enough or had not been sustained for long enough, so they made the SGO. However, both the court and children’s services informed you that you could apply for a Child Arrangements Order (CAO) for contact or for the girls to live with you and that you could ask the court’s permission to apply to end the SGO.

You are in the process of doing this. You offered mediation to the children’s special guardian, but this was not successful. There are current court proceedings as you mention a future hearing in January. I am unsure if you have made the application or the special guardian as she is asking the court to prohibit you from making further applications to end the SGO. You state that she is also making allegations against you which you can disprove.

In the meantime, you continue to see the girls for 6 hours once a month.

As you have tried mediation and there are current court proceedings there is not much more you can do. It is good that you are going to do another parenting course which shows that you are willing to enhance your parenting skills. You do not say if you have a solicitor or if you are representing yourself in court. If you have a solicitor, they will be able to advise you about how to prepare for court and of any other recommendations to help your case. If you do not have a solicitor, you can get legal advice from one of the following private law services:

Child Law Advice
Rights of Women.

As the SGO was made at the end of care proceedings, the special guardianship support team should have done an assessment of your support needs. So, you could go back to that team to see if there is any additional help or ‘mediation’ with the special guardian that they can offer.

Otherwise, keep to your current contact arrangements (unless the court changes them), keep up all the progress that you have made, attend the parenting programme as planned and prepare for the forthcoming court hearing. You are doing well.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie