Sgo questions

[motherinneed]

I’ve posted before about wanting to start the process of getting an sgo removed and followed advice about getting my solicitor involved, she is annoyed that they have reduced contact to only two hours once a month within a contact centre under supervision (although we have had a few supervised community sessions), as the original court order stated 4 hours once a month. She advised me it would be cheaper to apply for a contact order myself (no help from her) to increase contact before and sgo removal would even be considered.

So I looked into an application for contact order and it tells me that I need to request extra contact from the guardians then go to mediation before applying the courts for a contact order (I believe it was gov website). I have requested additional contact from the guardians and although my father is saying he’s on my side and wants me to see the children more my step mother on the other hand is refusing she says it can be discussed during contact reviews from friends and family, these reviews never happen at least with my involvement/knowledge the contact has been this way for 3 years now with no changes. As she has refused an increase I know she would refuse to attend mediation without being forced to attend. Would I have a chance of a contact order without attending mediation first? We’re in South Wales if that helps.


I just can’t deal with my children being under an sgo anymore, not seeing on them during special occasions makes it so much worse! My daughter keeps getting extremely upset about leaving me during contact and my son has started to do the same as he’s got older. So with their reactions I know they want at least more time with me and my daughter is still having adverse behaviour in school which originally ss deemed to be due to the dv from her father to me and that it would be better once she is out of our care and it hasn’t improved at all! I am no longer with her father and have not been since 2020, although during emails to ss and the guardians (that I have been cc’d into) he constantly refers to any changes as it will help ‘us’ or so ‘we’ can plan, the guardians know we have no contact as both have new partners and he’s not currently living local either. But I have been worrying that with him usithis language our contact plans (the court order stated that initially we are to have the same contact levels just separate) and the way ss deal with us would still be linked although I’ve been making progress personally with medication and therapy, sticking employment, studying in university and relationship/home life and conditions I don’t want him to reduce back my chances.
I also want to know if ss would consider him to have the children back as he’s hundreds of miles away and I don’t like how damaging it might be to my children especially my daughter who doesn’t deal well with too much change being moved from her school, her friends, all her hobbies, and moving in with him, his partner and children who she has never met and my son having to move from all he knows also.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear motherinneed

Thank you for posting again. I am sorry that your situation has not changed in respect of contact with your children. The advice given to you last year is the same for the most part as you are asking now.

You mention in your post that your solicitor was annoyed that your contact had been significantly reduced, so it is surprising that she did not suggest that you apply to the court at that time for level of contact to be considered by a judge. There has now been a big changes in your circumstances and this, I believe, would support your application for more contact and/or to discharge the special guardianship order . You mention that you are in South Wales but the legal position remain the same I believe regarding mediation. I cannot advise on Wales as it is not within the remit of our service.

You mention contact reviews, is this something that the court ordered or suggested? After 3 years and the changes you mention it seems unusual that no change in your favour to increase contact with your children. If the school has concerns about your children's behaviour and it having an adverse effect on them, they can make a referral to children's services. The school has a safeguarding role for the children.

In your post you mention that you understand you should try mediation first. This is a requirement of the court that mediation should be attempted prior to an application being made. You can ask for more contact verbally or in writing to the special guardians and if they are not in agreement to your proposals for contact then you can contact a family mediation service local to you and the special guardians or at a midpoint between where you and they live. No one can force them to engage in mediation, but you would be able to show the court that you tried. The family mediator would pro-vide the appropriate form your you to include with your application.

Permission is required before a parent applies to discharge a special guardianship or-der. You would apply for this at the same time as the application to discharge so if granted you can continue with the case..

I suggest you seek legal advice from your solicitor to be certain of your position in Wales.

As previously advised, the changes made since the order was made need to be evidenced to the court and this is what the court will look at. However, as stated above we do not advise in respect of Wales and social services there but suggest that you should be looked at as an individual and the changes you have made. Your children’s father would have his own case to put to the court.

My advice is that you speak with your solicitor or a service in Wales able to advice you. Please see information on website to useful links for services in Wales

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie