Exercise Parental Responsibility

[Losthopemum123]

Hi there please I need some help/guidance. So my youngest daughter has been living with grandparents for 10 months. She now has 30% school attendance and is EBSA and potentially PDA - There are no boundaries in place and she is basically bringing her self up ruling the roost as they are too scared to put boundaries in place. Cut a long story short we do not get along that is me and my parents as my youngest played us all off then she will now not return home the family has turned against me mum. Now it has been moved to CP for Neglect around Grandparents and them not putting Boundaries in plus non school attendance and basically she is bringing herself up at grandparents. Again I do not get on with my parents. I have now potentially been suspended from my school job too as I work with vulnerable children due to CP my parents are oblivious to the trouble this has caused and still believe they are supporting my youngest. My parents have brainwashed my daughter and spoken badly in front of her about me and my husband too. I have been asked to get legal advice regarding exercising my Parental Rights can anyone give me some advice has anyone been here before I am stuck and seem to have lost everything because I was told by first support worker to not force my daughter home and listen to her wishes and feelings this is 10 months later she has been back and forth but chooses to live with them due to no boundaries as when I put them into place she runs back.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Losthopemum123

Thank you for your post and welcome to the discussion board. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today.

I am sorry to hear of your situation. It must be a stressful and troubling time for you.

Your child is subject to a child protection plan due to concerns regarding neglect whilst she is living with her grandparents. I am not sure whether there is an order in place, or whether this is a mutual agreement between you and your parents.

As parents you hold parental responsibility for your child. If you do not agree for your child to remain living with your parents (and there are no orders in place) you can exercise you parental responsibilities by informing children’s services and your parents that your child should return to your care. Children’s services have no jurisdiction in this type of situation.

However, you have said that when attempts have been made for your daughter to return home, she has gone back to her grandparents, therefore it would be a good idea to work with children’s services and other professionals in an attempt to understand why this is and what measures can be put in place to stop this cycle.

You have said that the grandparents have very few boundaries for you daughter and they you do not have a good relationship with them. Are children’s services supporting you with this? Is there a safety plan in place? It would be a good idea to discuss this with the allocated social worker and her manager. I have added a link HERE to information and support from the NSPCC which has helpful information about setting boundaries. You will need to link on the relevant age group.

I have added HERE a link to our ‘top tips’ when working with social workers. This sets out how to work well with social workers and what you might wish to consider if things are not going so well.

From the information provided there seems to be difficulties with adult relationships. This will impact on your daughter’s actions and emotional wellbeing. Have you tried mediation to resolve the difficulties? If not, it might help to seek some professional support. I have added HERE a link to the Family Mediation Council which has a facility to find a mediator in your local area who can support you through the mediation process.

I am sorry to hear that there are implications for your work. When children’s services become involved children and their parents work with vulnerable groups, they do have a duty to inform the (LADO) Local Authority Designated Officer. A LADO is a person who is responsible for, overseeing investigations into allegations made against people who work with children. Coordinate the response to concerns about adults who work with children and advise employers, organizations, and others who have concerns about the behaviour of an adult who works with children.

I hope you find this information helpful. There are many ways to contact Family Rights Group, please do look at our website for further information about this or post again here if you have further questions.

Best wishes, Suzie