Parental Assessment!

[Father78]

Hi everyone,

First time posting here.

My son, almost 6 years old is currently on an interim care order and the next hearing in May 2025. I split from my now ex back in September 2021. In March 2023 following an anonymous referral my son was placed on a child protection plan for neglect under he's mother's care. I have been fully cooperative with social services from the get go. Mother since June this year had stopped engaging, yet she was present at the ICO first hearing.
Our son was placed at my request with my mother and will remain there until either myself or my ex can prove we are capable of caring for him.

My mother who now receives visits from the allocated social worker was told that should I put myself and my current partner forward for the parental assessment that it would fail. The parental assessment isn't till March 2025.
Should parenting assessments fail then the local authority will seek an SGO and he will continue to live with my mother.

Reasons given were her previous work as a sex worker, she has not escorted in over a year that we have been together. Her depression and alcohol dependency was also mentioned for which she is getting professional help through counselling and medication. Shoplifting which she has never been in trouble for.

My ex still is an escort and since social services got involved she was told that this line of work would not be held against her.

We believe most of not all these reasons were given by my ex partner.

I am struggling to believe that the allocated social worker can express this outcome from an assessment that is about 4 months away from even being started and that it will conducted by an independent social worker. It's not filling me with confidence that this assessment will be fair as I'm sure there are plenty of parents who are battling with mental health and addictions that can and do pass these assessments.

Now I am prepared to separate from my current partner if that is what needs to be done to secure my son into my care, and it's been a difficult conversation to have with her. Ideally I don't want to end this relationship on a whim because we are very happy together.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Father78

Welcome to the parent’s discussion forum and thank you for posting.
My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will be responding to your post.

Your son is living with your mother under an interim care order (ICO) and it appears that they final hearing of the local authority’s application for a care order is listed for May 2025. In the meantime, the court have given directions relating to the evidence that has to be filed with the court including the outcome of assessments. You may find it helpful to read more about care proceedings on our website.

It is not clear from your post if your mother has already been fully assessed and approved as a kinship foster carer. Sometimes a family member can be quickly assessed to look after a child, but the full assessment not completed until later. You mention that you son is to be with your mother until either you or his mother can prove you are able to care for him. If his mother is not engaging with the court process or children’s services, it appears she has already ruled herself out, but she may change her mind.

You are in a relationship with someone who was a sex worker and has alcohol dependency as a mental health condition. She is seeking help to address these issues.

From the comments made by the allocated social worker to your mother, it seems she has prejudged the outcome of your assessment. I think you should inform your solicitor of this and I note in post that an independent social worker is to do the assessment, is that to be of you or for you to decide if your partner is to be included assessment. A social worker should not prejudge the outcome of an assessment.
To give the social worker the benefit of the doubt, it maybe she was stating that if your assessment was negative then your mother could be assessed for a special guardianship order. They would support her to obtain the order so your son could remain in her care.

Both you son’s mother and your current partner are sex workers, and this should not preclude them from having a fair assessment on their ability to safely parent a child. All factors will be considered during an assessment. If persons are prepared to work to address any addiction or mental health issues this is likely to be seen as a positive and additional support if needed can be offered.

Regarding you and your partner, it is a matter for you if you decide to separate and only you can make that decision.

I hope this is helpful. Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie

[Father78]

Hi Suzie,

Thank you for your reply it was very helpful.

My current partner hasn't engaged in sex work since we got into a relationship, my ex still is sex working.

Regarding the parental assessment to be carried out by the ISW it has been left to me to decide if my current partner is to also be assessed.

My mother will be undertaking assessments to be a kinship carer for my son and depending on outcomes and SGO if required.

I did raise this to my solicitor but their reply implied that I should think carefully about letting my partner be assessed not that the allocated social worker shouldn't be making prejudiced remarks about failing. I'm not sure if I should pursue this further with my solicitor or just leave it be.


Kind regards

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Father 78,

Thank you for your update. I am glad the advice was helpful.
You ask whether you should raise the issue of the social worker’s comments with your solicitor.

Again, this is a matter for your personal judgement. However, you should feel able to discuss any issue that is on your mind with the lawyer representing you and advocating for a fair process. The solicitor is also the person knows the specifics of your situation. Family Rights Group have a guide to working with a solicitor which you might find helpful.

Best wishes,
Suzie