child in need team

[bustyboo]

Hi all, dont really know where to start so I guess the beginning... my oldest son is now 11 and I had problems with his behaviour when he was younger. I have fibromyalgia and really struggled with him so went to the school nurse who went through caf and eventually tac. He was given support and counselling etc and is now alot better and his tac was signed off in april. He and my 10 yr old daughter are registered young carers and I have a 4 and 5 yr old. A few months ago one of my lovely neighbours reported me to social care saying my house was a mess and my children were unsafe, they sone their assessment and agreed to help get my house decorated and to reopen the tac but have heard nothing since.

My 4 yr old (who is being looked at for adhd and behavioural issues) went to school with a bruise and didnt know how she done it and they reported me to ss again saying they were sent to school filthy and bruised! I spoke to her teacher and she said she hasnt seen her filthy just paint stained cardigan cos the paint doesn't come out but the inclusion officer keeps saying she is filthy because of it. Atm I am staying at my partners house cos mine needs so much work its making me depressed, the child in need team have been and looked through windows saying they are concerned but thats the reason I am not there with the children and all the support offered by social care hasnt come.

I don't know what the child in need team are but I am now on their lists so dont know what to do I am willing to accept any help they want to give but they keep offering and never giving, plus the way they keep implying my youngest is behaving the way she does because I'm not 'coping' is really getting me down! I dont know what happens now, any advice greatly appreciated

[frustrated mum]

my son is a 'child in need' to your question I haven't a clue what one is as social services have told me nothing. except they can help him with further education even though its been explained he's signed for the army and he's going on the next in take.
They also want to inspect my house and their bedrooms which will be a hoot as i'm having building work done at the moment , oh and to check if I have food in my fridge.

[ange301126]

dear evie, suzie,the lady adviser from the FRG will contact you soon to tell you your rights and so on also to tell you what the correct procedures are. In the meantime, I strongly advise you not to sign anything at all ( for example, a parenting agreement or an S20 Voluntary accomodation agreement ) under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER even if the social workers threaten you with a court order. Let them apply for one if they want but don't help them by signing anything rashly.Get a solicitor's advice first! Also say nothing to them especially no information which they can use against you.Answer questions as briefly as possible ,make no jokes and watch what you say carefully.

[frustrated mum]

thanks for the advice.

[blueplain]

Hello bustyboo

I had been on child in need for a long time. So I feel I can advice you on what it is about and what you can do to improve the situation. It would appear to me that your social worker has not been very forth coming with information if you are left so confused which I can understand is very frustrating. First of all a child in need is level is put in place because the children services believe that your child/children have multiple needs not being met, this can be ascertained through observation, which we all know can vary from professional to professional, these observation can be incorrect as they can not afford to make mistakes where child welfare is concerned. So I am afraid that as your on a child in need level it has already been decided that you require support to meet your child's needs. A child in Need level involves all the professionals that work with your child. These people will meet with you every set amount of time, depending on the district to discuss the observation and issues they have as well as any improvement.

I have been in this position and I understand it is very upsetting and frustrating. You have all this interference, accusations and opinions and you have the instinctive urge to tell them that you are not happy, that it is unfair and not true ect, ect. Believe me I know how much that sucks, however any direct arguments and resistance will get you absolutely no where. The best place to vent your frustrations is to calmly use their complaint process using reasonable language.

So what can you do to reduce concerns?

The best thing you can do is to co-operate completely, even if your screaming inside this is stupid! The best way to address these concerns is to get your child in need meeting record that has recorded all the issues that the professionals have and write all the issues down on a separate piece of paper. This will give you a clear list of concerns so that you can address them directly. Once you have this list of concerns sit down with your social worker and go through it. Say to your social worker. I see that their are these concerns around my children. I respect the professionals opinion and I would like to work with you to reduce these concerns. I would be happy to accept any service you can provide in the goal of improving my skills to meet my child's needs and any support to improve my house hold routine.

I know that you do not agree with it. I know that you feel your doing all you can. However that is immaterial at this point. The best thing you can do is co-operate and do exactly as I suggest. If you do this their attitude will complete change towards you and you will begin to feel more in control of the situation. For your acceptance of the frustrating situation is more important and constructive then anything else you can do.

In doing this you should receive different services such as portage, FRS worker, who will come into your house, interact with your children and teach you about the house hold routines. Be very polite to them, thank them for all the help they are giving you and that they are really helping to improve your situation. I know it is a little two faced but that's how you need to play the game with the board that you have been given. Do this and your meetings will be dramatically more positive and you will have people fighting your corner.

They may also ask you to attend parental courses or a parental assessment. Just go with it and do as they ask. The sooner you confirm the quicker they will leave you alone.

Keep your chin up and read my thread entitled my 4 years with children services. Also read my guide I chucked up with some alterations and suggestions made by suzie. I wish you the best of luck and keep us informed of your progress

Kind regards

Blueplain

[frustrated mum]

Hi blueplain thanks for the advice . Im just not sure what ss can do for my 17 yr old son. He has signed on at connexions, waiting his army interview , applied for jobs and looked at college courses. We sat and wrote his CV and he's handed it out in local shops for Christmas work. From what I have been told every thing I've done with my son is what ss will do so we go round in a circle. He has also stated that he doesn't want to speak to them either and as he's 17 I've been told they can't make him.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Bustyboo and Evie,

I can see that you have both raised questions about what “child in need means”. Thanks for other posters sharing their experiences..
If a child is made a “child in need” this is either because s/he is disabled or because he needs extra support for his safety, health or development. Our advice sheet about

family support services explains what to expect from children services (social services) when your child is assessed as a child in need. It covers the assessment process on page 8 deals with how you can ask for your childs needs to be assessed and page 9 and 10 explains how the assessment takes place and how your family is involved.
Here is some information about getting help when a parents disability means they need help in caring for their children. I hope this information helps but if you have any questions, please post back.

Best wishes,
Suzie