I’m about ready to put an application into the court to discharge the care order.
My children have been in long term care since august due to a deterioration in my mental health.
I got diagnosed with bpd in 2020, I’ve just paid £500 for a private psychiatric assessment and it turns out I got misdiagnosed in 2020 and the misdiagnosis caused a delay in me getting the right treatment and support which led to the deterioration in my mental health and my children being removed.
Since being removed I’ve engaged fully with SS and addressed all concerns. I’m completely abstinent for over a year, completed 22 courses on mental health and parenting etc done bereavement counselling, DBT therapy, emdr therapy… I have unsupervised contact every fortnight and never once missed it or turned up late.
I sent an email to SS as soon as I found out I was misdiagnosed and the manager emailed back and said they need to see the report from the psychiatrist before they make any significant changes, said because of the new information she advises I get some legal advise and said that her and the SW would be happy to come for a discussion to see what further actions need to be considered. She also said that they are willing to have any meetings with health professionals if I wanted them to. Just looking for advice to see if you think things will progress with SS rather than me going to court myself to get it discharged? I’ve already previously been told SS won’t be supporting the foster carers getting an SGO because of how well I’m doing.
Thank you
Discharging the care order
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Discharging the care order
Dear Lilypad,
Thank you for your post. I am Suzie, an online adviser replying to you today.
You explain that you are about to apply to the family court to discharge the care orders for your children. You are probably aware that parents need to seek the court’s permission to bring the application to discharge and you may have done this already.
You can read more about how care orders can be brought to an end here.
Your current dilemma centres on whether it is better for you to continue with your own application to discharge the care order or to wait and see how the new psychiatric report about your prior misdiagnosis affects the decisions and actions of children’s services.
You have worked hard to achieve and maintain abstinence, seek support for your mental health and to complete several parenting courses. You have been consistent and reliable in your unsupervised contact with the children. This is truly impressive and testament to your determination and commitment to working towards your children returning to your care.
You write that children’s services are not supportive of the foster carers’ seeking of a special guardianship order and acknowledge the changes you continue to make. It would seem that they are not ruling out return to your care being the long-term option for your children.
I cannot answer your question as to whether the new psychiatric assessment will alter children’s services plans and actions towards reunification. They want to meet with you to discuss this significant update and have told you that they are also willing to meet with health professionals to discuss your progress and diagnosis if you consent to this information being shared.
If you bring your application the court will focus on the best interests of the children and whether you have made significant changes since the care order was made. A key consideration for the court will be whether there has been sufficient time post-order to be sure that you are able to sustain the changes long-term. The wishes and feelings of the children will also be central.
One course is for you to pursue your own application to discharge the care order. If you were to be unsuccessful it would be important to look at the reasons the court’s reasoning; what they consider to be continuing risk factors and further work that can be done to reduce these.
You should ask for a copy of your local authority children’s services reunification policy.
As children in foster care under a care order your children have regular looked after child reviews to look at the care plan. At the start of each review the social worker and independent reviewing officer look at whether the care order still needs to be in place.
These reviews are an opportunity to talk about whether children’s services agree that working towards reunification is the best plan and if so how this can be implemented. If children’s services agree on reunification they can then make the application to court to discharge the care order. However, it is possible that children’s services could view reunification as an achievable aim - but feel that more time and work is needed before it can become a reality. If this applies, children's services should make you aware of any risks that still cause concern and how you can work to address these. As already said, your ability to sustain the changes you have made over time may be a big factor in their thinking and your continuing progress provides reassurance.
Your children could benefit from independent advocate support to help them express their views to the professionals involved around the looked after child reviews and other meetings. You can read the Family Rights Group guide for children working with advocates here.
You can read more about looked after child reviews here and the role of the independent reviewing officer who chairs the reviews is discussed here. If the next planned review is not for some time you could ask for the date to be brought forward in the light of the new psychiatric report and the discussions you are having about this.
You may benefit from peer support from parents going through similar experiences. Match Mothers are a peer support organisation that support to mothers living apart from their children. You can link to their website here and their helpline number is O800 689 4104.
I hope you find this information helpful. If you would like to talk to an adviser at Family Rights Group about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, you can post back, use our advice enquiry form or webchat. Please check out our website for further information and guidance.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Thank you for your post. I am Suzie, an online adviser replying to you today.
You explain that you are about to apply to the family court to discharge the care orders for your children. You are probably aware that parents need to seek the court’s permission to bring the application to discharge and you may have done this already.
You can read more about how care orders can be brought to an end here.
Your current dilemma centres on whether it is better for you to continue with your own application to discharge the care order or to wait and see how the new psychiatric report about your prior misdiagnosis affects the decisions and actions of children’s services.
You have worked hard to achieve and maintain abstinence, seek support for your mental health and to complete several parenting courses. You have been consistent and reliable in your unsupervised contact with the children. This is truly impressive and testament to your determination and commitment to working towards your children returning to your care.
You write that children’s services are not supportive of the foster carers’ seeking of a special guardianship order and acknowledge the changes you continue to make. It would seem that they are not ruling out return to your care being the long-term option for your children.
I cannot answer your question as to whether the new psychiatric assessment will alter children’s services plans and actions towards reunification. They want to meet with you to discuss this significant update and have told you that they are also willing to meet with health professionals to discuss your progress and diagnosis if you consent to this information being shared.
If you bring your application the court will focus on the best interests of the children and whether you have made significant changes since the care order was made. A key consideration for the court will be whether there has been sufficient time post-order to be sure that you are able to sustain the changes long-term. The wishes and feelings of the children will also be central.
One course is for you to pursue your own application to discharge the care order. If you were to be unsuccessful it would be important to look at the reasons the court’s reasoning; what they consider to be continuing risk factors and further work that can be done to reduce these.
You should ask for a copy of your local authority children’s services reunification policy.
As children in foster care under a care order your children have regular looked after child reviews to look at the care plan. At the start of each review the social worker and independent reviewing officer look at whether the care order still needs to be in place.
These reviews are an opportunity to talk about whether children’s services agree that working towards reunification is the best plan and if so how this can be implemented. If children’s services agree on reunification they can then make the application to court to discharge the care order. However, it is possible that children’s services could view reunification as an achievable aim - but feel that more time and work is needed before it can become a reality. If this applies, children's services should make you aware of any risks that still cause concern and how you can work to address these. As already said, your ability to sustain the changes you have made over time may be a big factor in their thinking and your continuing progress provides reassurance.
Your children could benefit from independent advocate support to help them express their views to the professionals involved around the looked after child reviews and other meetings. You can read the Family Rights Group guide for children working with advocates here.
You can read more about looked after child reviews here and the role of the independent reviewing officer who chairs the reviews is discussed here. If the next planned review is not for some time you could ask for the date to be brought forward in the light of the new psychiatric report and the discussions you are having about this.
You may benefit from peer support from parents going through similar experiences. Match Mothers are a peer support organisation that support to mothers living apart from their children. You can link to their website here and their helpline number is O800 689 4104.
I hope you find this information helpful. If you would like to talk to an adviser at Family Rights Group about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, you can post back, use our advice enquiry form or webchat. Please check out our website for further information and guidance.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Who is online
In total there is 1 user online :: 1 registered, 0 hidden and 0 guests (based on users active over the past 2 minutes)
Most users ever online was 37 on Wed Jun 17, 2026 3:50 pm