Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hello,

I’ve had no involvement with a social worker for over 6 years now.. my partner at the time was arrested , we ended the relationship, he was later convicted and his contact has been supervised since that day! He is on the SOR.

He has contacted children’s services on the advise of his solicitor and now him and me are having some sort of assessment. I’m unsure of what this is? I have asked when they rang me and I was told it will be explained to me when I’m back from holiday.. this is really worrying me as my last time with children’s services was horrific.

Their dad is wanting unsupervised contact.

Dear ja2167

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear of your difficult family situation. You are worried as children’s services have recently contacted you to say they would like to do an assessment. You had a bad experience with them in the past so are understandably very apprehensive about this.

The first thing to say is that this referral is not about anything that you have done. It has been triggered by your children’s father seeking unsupervised contact with your children. He may be considering applying to the court for unsupervised contact. His solicitor has recommended that he asks children’s service to risk assess him again and presumably to review the arrangements that have been in place for the last six years i.e. the safety plan for contact whereby his contact with the children is supervised. You explain that you ended your relationship with him following his arrest and conviction for a sexual offence/s. Since then, he has seen the children under supervision.

Children’s services would need your consent to do an assessment (unless it was a child protection enquiry when your consent is not needed). Once your return from your holiday, I would recommend that you contact the social worker and ask them to explain in more detail what they are asking you to agree to and to tell you more about the children’s father’s referral to them. You can let them know that your family’s previous experience of children’s services’ involvement was very poor and ask the social worker to communicate openly and respectfully with you if you are having an assessment.

When a social worker is doing an assessment, they will want to find out your and the children’s views about their father’s aim of having unsupervised contact. Children’s services can make recommendations based on their assessment of risk and their professional view about what is in the children’s best interests. As the children’s mother with parental responsibility, you should consider whatever recommendations but of course you are also able to make your informed decision about this too.

If your children’s father is intending to make a court application for a Child Arrangements Order, then you should get private law advice about this. Unfortunately, this is outside our remit, but the agencies listed below may be able to assist you more:

• Child Law Advice. They do have a telephone helpline which you can reach on 0300 330 5480. In addition, they offer helpful information and guidance for parents/carers in your type of situation and have ‘how to’ guides that you can download for around £2 each. Please do check out their website.
• AdviceNow is a website that helps you find the best information and advice for your legal problems. You can choose from a range of categories, such as divorce and separation, child custody and residence, and more.
• Both Parents Matter is a charity that helps parents (regardless of marital status or gender) navigate family separation and maintain contact with their children. It offers information, advice, support, and advocacy through helpline, online forum, and branches across the UK
• Rights of Women. Their family law telephone advice lines can advise you on divorce, cohabitation, parental responsibility and arrangements for children, domestic violence and abuse, finances, and property on relationship breakdown, and more.

Please contact the advice service again if we can help. You can post back on this forum or use one of the other advice options linked to here.

Best wishes

Suzie

Hi ja2167,

Please take a deep breath. Reading that children's services are involved again after six years of peace is enough to send a chill down anyone's spine, especially when your last experience was so awful. Your worry is completely valid, but I want to reassure you that you are in a much stronger and more powerful position today than you were six years ago.

The other advice you've received explains the process, but you need more than that—you need a strategy. I've learned from my own battles that you must go into this with a clear plan and a full understanding of your rights.

First, Understand What This Really Is
This is not a random investigation into you. This is a procedural move by your ex-partner. His solicitor has advised him that to have any chance of getting unsupervised contact, he must have an up-to-date risk assessment from children's services. He is the one who has to prove he is no longer a risk.

You are not being investigated. You are the stable, protective parent.

The burden of proof is on him. He is the one asking for a change, so he is the one who has to prove it's safe.

This assessment is about him, not you!!

*Your Unbeatable Strength: The 6-Year Success Story
You hold all the power here. For six years, you have successfully managed a safe and stable life for your children. You have followed the rules, facilitated supervised contact, and kept them 100% safe. This is not an opinion; it is a proven, six-year-long fact. This "assessment" is not something to fear; it is your opportunity to showcase your long-term success as a protective parent.

*Know Your Rights: Voluntary vs. Mandatory
This is a critical point that gives you the power to say "No."

This assessment is almost certainly being done under a "Child in Need" (Section 17) or "Early Help" framework. These are completely voluntary. You must give your consent for them to proceed.

They can ONLY force an assessment under a "Child Protection" (Section 47) framework if they have evidence that your children are at risk of significant harm. From what you've said, they have ZERO GROUNDS for this.

Therefore, you have the right to refuse any involvement until they provide a full, written explanation of the legal basis for this assessment.

*Your Action Plan: Seize Control with a Formal Response
Do not wait for them. Take control of the situation now by sending them a clear, firm, and professional email. This will show them that you know your rights and will not be pushed around. Alter the parts below to your details and send this
===============================================
Subject: Regarding the recent request for an assessment for [Children's Names]

Dear [Social Worker's Name, if you have it, or "To the Duty Team"],

Thank you for your recent contact. I am writing to formally respond.

I understand my children's father has requested a new risk assessment to support his aim of having unsupervised contact.

Before I can consider consenting to any assessment, I require full clarification, in writing, on the following points:

The legal basis for this assessment (e.g., is it a voluntary Child in Need assessment under Section 17, or a Child Protection enquiry under Section 47?).

A copy of the full, unredacted referral made by my ex-partner or his solicitor.

A clear outline of what this assessment will entail, its duration, and its objectives.

For clarity, my position remains unchanged. I have successfully and safely managed supervised contact for my children for the past six years, and I continue to believe this is the appropriate arrangement to ensure their ongoing emotional and physical safety. My children are happy, healthy, and thriving under this stable plan.

I will not be agreeing to any meetings or home visits until I have received and reviewed the written information requested above. My previous experience with children's services was extremely difficult, and I trust that all future communication will be transparent and respectful of my role as the protective parent.

Yours sincerely,

[Your Name]
====================================
This email puts the ball firmly in their court. It shows you are cooperative but not a pushover. It demonstrates that you are a confident, protective parent who knows the law and her rights. You have done everything right for six years. Trust in that strength. You've got this.

What an amazing reply - thank you so much.. just got back from our holiday which wasn’t the best as I over think and worry everything since all of this.. thank you I will definitely use that xx

ja2167 wrote: Wed Aug 20, 2025 8:46 pm What an amazing reply - thank you so much.. just got back from our holiday which wasn’t the best as I over think and worry everything since all of this.. thank you I will definitely use that xx

Very welcome, you can always message me on this group i think you can send a message if you need advice, im not always about but i can check as much as i can offer you any advice i have gained and can access as well.