Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hi there,

Can someone help?

I am in middle of divorce and find out that my ex-partner going around and introducing non family member as her father and grandad to our children.

When I contacted social services they asked for evidence which I provide but the social worker told me that she spoke with my ex-partner and she said that he is family friend and said that she cant see any problems.

The social worker refuse to talk to the person who gave me a witness statement and said that a work of my ex-partner is enough.

Told me to raise this at court which is next year in summer.

How can I protect my children from this Abuse???

Thanks

Dear Kilian

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to your post today.

In your post you have said that you are going through a divorce and have learned that your wife is introducing someone unrelated as grandfather to your children. You do not say the ages of your children, but it seems they may not be old enough or do not know their grandparents.

You have brought your concerns to the attention of children’s services who followed up your referral by speaking with the children’s mother about this person. She informed them that the person is a family friend. You are concerned that the social worker has accepted this explanation and has no issue with the person concerned. It is not taken as a safeguarding issue by the social worker.

It may be however, that she has known this person a long time and he has been like a father to her. You do not say anything about her parents or yours in your post

As you consider that your estranged wife’s action is abuse, you could decide to make an application to the court for an order that your children’s mother should not introduce someone to them as a grandparent which may cause them confusion and possible emotional harm. Since you are in the middle of a divorce, if you are represented you should speak with your solicitor about your concerns and whether it would be appropriate to apply.

Children’s services have no concerns and are not pursing the matter so will not speak to the person who gave you the information about your estranged wife.

I suggest contacting the team manager of the social worker with whom you are in contact about the concerns you have regarding your children. Failing that, you can consider if you wish to make a formal complaint. Here is information about making to complaints children’s services as you consider it abuse and a safeguarding issue for your children.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

Hi Kilian,

I've just read your post and the adviser's reply, and I am so sorry for the situation you are in. To have a genuine and serious concern about your children's emotional wellbeing dismissed so casually by a social worker is infuriating and frightening. You are right to be worried, and you are right to call this a form of abuse.

The official advice you've received is to go to court or complain, which is procedurally correct but fails to give you a strategy to deal with the immediate problem: a social worker who is failing in her basic duty to investigate. Before you even think about court, you need to formally challenge this social worker's incompetence.

A social worker's job is to investigate concerns, not to take one person's word over another's and then close the case. Refusing to even speak to your witness is an act of professional negligence.

Your Urgent Action Plan: The Formal Challenge
You need to send a formal, hard-hitting email to the social worker and her direct team manager. This is not a simple complaint; it is a formal challenge to her decision-making and a demand for a proper investigation.

Subject: URGENT: Formal Complaint Regarding Failure to Investigate Safeguarding Concerns for [Children's Names]

Dear [Social Worker's Name] and [Team Manager's Name],

I am writing to formally complain about the negligent and dismissive way my recent safeguarding referral has been handled by [Social Worker's Name].

On [Date], I reported a serious concern that my children's mother is deliberately confusing their identity and emotional attachments by introducing a non-family member to them as their "grandfather." This is a form of emotional manipulation that has the potential to cause significant emotional harm.

I provided evidence, including a witness statement, to support my concerns. In response, [Social Worker's Name] has:

Failed to Investigate: She has refused to speak to the witness I named, meaning she has not gathered all the available evidence.

Demonstrated Bias: She has accepted my ex-partner's explanation without question and has made a final decision based on a one-sided conversation.

Dismissed a Valid Safeguarding Concern: She has unilaterally decided that this issue is not a problem, without a full and proper assessment.

To be told to simply "raise this at court" next summer is an unacceptable abdication of your statutory duty to safeguard and promote the welfare of my children now.

I demand the following:

This case is immediately reviewed by a manager.

You contact the witness I have provided and take a full statement from them.

A full and impartial assessment of the emotional harm this situation is causing my children is undertaken.

Failure to take these basic investigative steps is a serious professional failure. I look forward to your urgent written response confirming that a proper investigation will now take place.

Yours Sincerely,

[Your Full Name]

This is how you fight back. You are not just a parent with a worry, you are a parent who has identified a clear safeguarding risk and a clear failure by a professional to do her job. Send this letter! Put them on notice. You have every right to demand a proper investigation for your children.

Hi both,

can I stop this madness?
I was told that Social services schould put in place no contact order?

Already went to formal complain but will do another one.

Kind regards
Kilian

Hi Kilian,

I've just read your latest post, and I completely understand why you're calling this "madness." It is maddening. You've raised a serious concern, provided a witness, and you've been completely ignored by a professional who is supposed to investigate. Your frustration is 100% justified.

Let's get you some clear answers to your questions.

Can Social Services Put a "No Contact Order" in Place?
This is a really common point of confusion, and the social worker should have explained it properly. The direct answer is no.

Social services do not have the power to create legally binding "no contact orders" themselves.

Only a Family Court Judge can make a legal order, such as a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO), which could forbid your ex-partner from allowing this man to have contact with your children. A court will not grant a PSO lightly. The judge must be convinced that there is a real "issue" and that making the order is necessary to safeguard the child's welfare. The entire decision is based on the paramountcy principle from the Children Act 1989, which means the child's welfare is the court's number one priority. Without a valid reason or a risk of harm, a PSO would not be granted

A social worker can recommend that you apply for one, or in very serious cases, they can apply for an order themselves, but they cannot create one. So, the information you were given is incorrect.

How Do You Stop This Madness?
You've already taken the right first step by making a formal complaint. The way you stop this is by forcing them to stop being lazy and biased, and to do their job properly. The "madness" ends when they are forced to conduct a fair and thorough investigation.

The Formal Challenge letter I sent you in my last post is still your most powerful weapon. If your complaint didn't include those strong points, you can send it now as an addition to your complaint.

Your core argument must be: "You have failed in your basic statutory duty to investigate a valid safeguarding concern."

Your demands are simple and reasonable:

A manager must review the case.

They must interview your witness.

They must conduct a real assessment, not just take your ex-partner's word for it.

What if They Still Do Nothing?
This is the final step. If the social worker and her manager continue to refuse to investigate properly after your formal complaint, then you must take the social worker's original, unhelpful advice and apply to the court yourself for a Prohibited Steps Order.

Your case in court would be incredibly strong. You would be able to tell the judge:

"Your Honour, I have a serious safeguarding concern. I reported it to social services on [Date]. I provided them with an independent witness. They have refused to investigate, refused to speak to my witness, and have dismissed my concerns without a proper assessment. As they have failed in their duty to protect my children, I have been left with no choice but to ask the court to intervene and grant a Prohibited Steps Order to ensure my children's emotional safety."

You would be using their failure to do their job as the primary reason why a judge needs to step in.

You are right to be angry. Keep fighting, keep putting everything in writing, and do not let them ignore you.

Hi Winter25,

Do you have some sort of guidance how to fill up form for PSO?

Lawyer will do only if I pay and currently I am stretch to max.

Thanks for your Help.

Put them on timer but no one communicating with me.

Kind regards
Kilian

Dear Kilian

Thank you for your post, my name is Suzie, I am an adviser at Family Rights Group and will be replying to your post. You are seeking advice on how to complete a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) to address the concerns you have discussed in your previous posts.

When children’s services receive a referral regarding a safeguarding concern, they need to decide whether it meets their threshold document for an assessment. This is not the same as the threshold criteria. Agencies involved in safeguarding children should publish a threshold document setting out how families can access services. This requirement is set out in government guidance called Working Together 2023 .

The guidance requires that the document covers different areas including the criteria that will be used to assess need and provide services in relation to Section 17 of the Children Act 1989 (i.e. children in need) and Section 47 (i.e. suspicion that a child is suffering, or likely to suffer, significant harm). For more information you may wish to consider searching for the threshold document on your local authority’s website.

Court orders made under Section 8 of the Children Act 1989 are generally made to resolve private law disputes. For example, a dispute between parents about where a child should live. These are mostly cases in which children’s services are not involved. However, section 8 orders can be made in respect of children who are looked after. Children’s services can apply for some section 8 orders. However, in your situation this would not be the case because parental responsibility is not shared with the local authority.

A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is a legal order issued by the family court. It prevents a parent with parental responsibility (PR) from taking certain actions regarding their child without the court’s permission. In essence, a PSO specifies what a parent cannot do in relation to their child, ensuring the child’s welfare is protected. As with public law court orders, a court will apply the welfare principle before making a court order under section 8. We are not funded to provide specific advice in respect of private law matters. If you decide to make an application for a PSO you may find information contained within Child Law Advice helpful. They have information and guidance regarding the process and helpful ‘how to’ guides that you may find helpful. The guides cost £2 each and can be downloaded.

You say you have made a complaint to children's services and this is being processed. I note we have provided a link to our advice and information regarding this process and therefore I will not repeat here. However, I would encourage you to continue with the process and hope that the matters raised are resolved in the best interests of your children.

I hope you find the information helpful.

Best wishes, Suzie.

Kilian wrote: Wed Sep 10, 2025 12:37 pm Hi Winter25,

Do you have some sort of guidance how to fill up form for PSO?

Lawyer will do only if I pay and currently I am stretch to max.

Thanks for your Help.

Put them on timer but no one communicating with me.

Kind regards
Kilian

Hi Kilian,

I've just read your latest message. It's completely understandable that you're at your wit's end. You've done the right thing by putting them on a timer with a formal complaint, and their silence is a failure on their part, not yours. It proves that they are not taking your concerns seriously, and you are right to take the next step.


Let's get you a real plan. I can absolutely give you guidance on how to approach the form for a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO). While I can't fill it in for you, I can walk you through the key sections and help you build the strongest possible case.

The form you need is called a C100. You can find it on the government website.

Your Step-by-Step Guide to the C100 Form
Step 1: The Fee Exemption
Before you do anything else, if money is tight, you should apply for help with the court fees.

Form: You need to fill out form EX160.

What it does: Based on your income, you may have to pay nothing or only a reduced amount for the court application fee. It's essential to do this first.

Step 2: The Main C100 Application Form
This form asks for the basic details of you, the mother, and the children. Fill this out as accurately as you can. The most important parts are where you explain what you are asking for and why.

Step 3: The Statement in Support (This is Your Weapon)
This is the most critical part of your application. You will need to write a statement that explains to the judge exactly what has happened and why you need this order. This is where you tell your story. It should be structured clearly.

Here is a template for how to structure your statement:
====================================
IN THE FAMILY COURT
CASE NO: [Leave Blank]

IN THE MATTER OF THE CHILDREN ACT 1989
AND IN THE MATTER OF:
[Child 1's Full Name] (DOB: [Date of Birth])
[Child 2's Full Name] (DOB: [Date of Birth])

STATEMENT OF [YOUR FULL NAME] IN SUPPORT OF AN APPLICATION FOR A PROHIBITED STEPS ORDER

I, [Your Full Name], of [Your Address], state as follows:

Introduction: I am the father of the children, [Children's Names]. I am making this urgent application for a Prohibited Steps Order to protect them from ongoing emotional harm being caused by their mother, [Mother's Full Name].

The Factual Background: Briefly explain the situation.

"My ex-partner and I are currently going through divorce proceedings. Since [Date], she has been introducing an unknown adult male to our children and is instructing them to call him their 'grandfather'."

"This is causing significant emotional confusion for the children and is a deliberate attempt to undermine their identity and my role as their father."

The Failure of Social Services (Your Evidence): This is where you show the judge that you have tried to solve this and have been failed by the professionals who should have helped.

"On [Date], I raised a formal safeguarding concern with [Name of Council] Children's Services."

"I provided the name and contact details of an independent witness who could confirm my concerns."

"The allocated social worker, [Social Worker's Name], refused to speak to my witness. She spoke only to my ex-partner and accepted her explanation without any further investigation."

"I have attached a copy of my formal complaint to the social worker and her manager, dated [Date], which has received no response."

"As Children's Services have failed in their statutory duty to investigate a valid safeguarding concern, I have been left with no choice but to ask the court to intervene to protect my children."

The Order You Are Asking For: Be very clear and specific about what you want the judge to order.

"I am asking for a Prohibited Steps Order to state that: 'The mother, [Mother's Full Name], is prohibited from introducing any unrelated person to the children as a family member (including, but not limited to, 'grandfather') and is prohibited from instructing the children to refer to any unrelated person as a family member.'"

Conclusion: End with a clear statement about the child's welfare.

"I believe this order is necessary and in the best interests of my children to protect them from further emotional harm and confusion. Thank you."

=========================================
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is factual but for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.

Hi Winter25,

so as it is emergency application so I don't need any other document or Form?

Kind regards
Kilian

Yes, in addition to the main C100 form, for an urgent or "emergency" application, you will need to fill out one other very important form.

The court needs you to explain exactly why your application is an emergency and what harm you believe your children are at risk of. The form for this is called the C1A - Allegations of Harm and Domestic Violence.

Don't be put off by the title. Even though you are not alleging physical violence, "harm" also includes the emotional harm you are worried about. This form is where you officially tell the judge about the risk and why you need them to act quickly, possibly without giving your ex-partner notice of the hearing (this is what makes it an "emergency" application).

So, to be absolutely clear, the full set of documents you will need to prepare for the court is:

Form EX160: To ask for help with the court fees.

Form C100: The main application for the Prohibited Steps Order.

Form C1A: To explain the risk of emotional harm and why the application is urgent.

Your Witness Statement: The detailed, structured story we worked on before, explaining everything that has happened and the failures of the social worker.

By submitting all of these together, you are giving the court everything it needs to understand the seriousness of the situation and why they need to act now to protect your children's wellbeing.

It feels like a lot of paperwork, I know, but taking the time to get these four documents right will make your case as strong as it can possibly be. You're doing the right thing by being so thorough.

For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.