Need some good legal advise and tips please.

[princess27]

I've have two sons who are as of last month in long term foster care, they cannot be returned home due to my autistic son and my youngest son who has very challenging behaviour and sexualised behaviour ( we have two very daughters) who we were advised may become harmed if in our care and around my son basically I was told " he's too far gone for help" which upset me, my mum and dad went to court and wanted to be given the children but had to go along with childrens social care and I read in the order it says " leave" maternal grandparents, initially the social worker came out and didn't like the fact my mum said I'm a "good" mum which is the reason I believe why her assesment as carer didn't continue after that first meeting at home, but in court they said maternal grandparents couldn't have the children even just my autistic done who's said he wants to live with them it was told in court that the two are to be separated after months of being in a placement together they are to remove my autistic son and my other son is to stay where he is ? My mum was told she couldn't have my autistic son as my other son may become upset about this ( my other son expressed when asked where he wishes to live he replied with * name of foster carers* for ever! Can't understand why my son is like this he's lied about me that's why the ss had the case down as physical abuse as he said I hit him, he's also started saying the foster carer who's make has been smacking him too which I believe to be another false accusation I was told this by my partner who knows the foster family and has done before this happened, i myself are finding it very difficult to play any part in my sons lives as they never send me email photos of special occasions or school trip photos, I feel I'm loosing them day by day and I've got years and years of this as my younger son is only 7 almost 8 I never get to accompany them to eye exams, health checks or dentist appointments I'm still going parents evenings and meeting up with the head just to see how there school work is if its on target which it is and I'm so proud of them for it they are bright little boys but if my mother dosnt get my children I may lose them forever, there less affection towards me and get excited when the foster carer turns up like they don't care about me I think about my children morning untill night through the day and now when I look into my daughters eyes who live at home I see my sons when they were there age it's very hard to cope with my only down fall was I was a push over and spoilt them with toys and didn't have many ground rules they didn't ask to have a desert they helped themselves and then when I did tell them no for something they did the house became very chaotic and my sons used to shout at me hit and bite me I never laid a finger on them I was the one who got git not them but my son said I used to hit him my eldest didn't but along with bruses from play and a burn/ small swelling on my sons finger they said I abused them all of that is history now but still upsets me as I love my boys and they will grow up and read reports that say I abused, sexually abused (my son spoke about privet parts and csc said I must have played part in this) I've never sexually abused, physically or emotionally abused my children I'm a normal mother or was who enjoyed caring for my children no matter what they did or when they hit me i brushed it off silly now I know but it was unconditional I'm not a bad person but I just want them to come back I to the family with my mother and father ( I tried to talk my mother and father out of caring as it could be tough but my mum is detarmained) another thing my mum isn't 50 for a few years but atm she is only going to get contact for two hrs every six months all of this is killing her all of this stress could potentially be the end of her and my children will miss out on everything my mum and dad had to offer a life of stability and love and boundrys and posative parenting. My contacts are 7 a year its better than noting but I'm slowly losing my babies day by day my little 7 year old will be a 16-18 year old leaving care not wanting to know his mum and my 10 year old probly won't even know who I am, I think my children will eventually get board of seeing me and will want to end contact, then what? How can I regain some form of normality from all of this heartbreaking stress I live day in day out and my poor parents who havnt even seen the children since may 2013

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Princess27

Can I ask what the children's legal status is, and if they have become subject to a full care order, so that the local authority also have parental responsibility?

Do the children have an independent advocate that visits them in placement and listens to their views. You can speak to the Independent Reviewing Officer about this, so they can explain what arrangements are in place for Looked After Children in your area.

Best Wishes

Suzie