Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

So, my daughter accidentally told me something that her dad had done to her 2 weeks ago, when she told me I contacted the police and they spoke to her, she wouldn’t tell them anything and would clam up at the subject. The police said I had to send her back to her dads in line with the court order we have, social services are now involved too, they have also said to follow the court order. The police have opened a criminal investigation this past week and said someone would contact me and hasn’t, I chased it up and still no call, social care were also supposed to call me Friday following a GP appointment and never did, I called them and they said I’d get a call back, same with police and I’ve had radio silence from both. My ex questioned our daughter and found out police were at mine and he’s assumed they were there for my younger 2’s dad and made a doctors appointment to point fingers at why my daughters depressed (she’s 6, she’s unhappy and her dad has never taken her MH seriously).

He then cornered me outside and asked me why the police were there and I just said because our child made an allegation against him, and he said “well they must not be concerned”

I don’t know what to do in this situation, my solicitor is taking a long time to get back to me, I’ve been told I can’t use PR by services and to follow the court order but it doesn’t seem right, I have autism and I’m overthinking that somehow the will say I’ve been neglectful for not stopping her going to her dads or something along those lines, what happens if she won’t talk about what she said? What happens to her dad? What happens with contact? I’m confused, scared and frankly depressed as I can’t give her the help she needs.

Hi Galaxlily,

I’ve just read your post, and I’m so sorry you’re being put in this position. You’ve done absolutely everything a protective parent is meant to do, your daughter disclosed something deeply serious, you reported it to the police and social services, and now you’re being left with no clear direction, no updates, and an impossible choice. None of that is your fault.

Right now you’re being trapped between two risks, being accused of breaching a court order if you protect her, or being blamed for “failing to protect” if something happens during contact. That is not acceptable, and it’s not something any parent should be left to navigate alone.

1. Take control in writing

You can’t rely on verbal updates or “we’ll call you” promises. You need to protect yourself and your daughter with a written record. Send an email tonight to the social worker, their team manager, and the police officer handling the case. Keep it calm and factual, you are not being aggressive, you’re asking for a safeguarding plan.

Here’s something you can adapt:
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Subject: URGENT SAFEGUARDING CONCERN – Request for Written Guidance on Contact
Child: [Daughter’s name, DOB]

Dear [Social Worker], [Team Manager], and [Police Officer],

I am writing to formally confirm the serious safeguarding situation regarding my six-year-old daughter, [name].

On [date], she disclosed that her father, [father’s name], had harmed her. I reported this immediately to the police and Children’s Services, and I understand there is now a live criminal investigation.

Since then, I have been verbally advised to continue sending my daughter for contact in line with the existing Child Arrangements Order. I am gravely concerned that this advice effectively instructs me to send my child into the care of someone currently under investigation for harming her.

I therefore need urgent written confirmation of:

Whether contact should continue during the ongoing investigation

Who is taking professional responsibility for this decision

What safeguarding plan is currently in place for my daughter’s safety

If your view is that contact should continue, please provide that advice in writing with a clear rationale. If not, please confirm what lawful steps I can take to protect her from harm without breaching the court order.

This situation is causing extreme distress and confusion for both me and my daughter, and I would appreciate a written response as soon as possible.

Kind regards,
[Your name]
[Your contact details]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. Why this helps

This creates evidence that you’ve raised concerns and sought professional guidance. It forces them to put their advice in writing and prevents them from later claiming you “did nothing.” If they ignore you, that becomes further proof of professional failure and can be used later by your solicitor or in a formal complaint.

3. About your daughter

It’s completely normal for a six-year-old to make a disclosure and then go quiet. It doesn’t mean she’s changed her story , it means she’s scared and unsure. The police should arrange a specialist ABE (Achieving Best Evidence) interview when she’s ready. In the meantime, don’t press her to talk, just reassure her that she’s safe and believed.

You can ask your GP or her school to arrange counselling or emotional support through CAMHS or another child trauma service. These early interventions can make a real difference while the investigation moves slowly.

4. Legal protection

If you continue to feel that she’s unsafe, your solicitor can apply for an urgent variation or suspension of contact through a C100 application. That’s the formal route to pause contact safely and lawfully while the investigation continues. If your solicitor is slow, keep pushing for an update and remind them this is now a live safeguarding matter, request a different solicitor if you feel they are not doing what you ask.
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For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.

Thank you so much for the advice, I asked the police to refer her for counselling which they have done, I’ll be calling social care and the police to ask for their email addresses and for an update, I’ll call my solicitor also for an update and I’ll send them all an email adapted from the above

Galaxlily wrote: Sun Oct 12, 2025 4:57 pm So, my daughter accidentally told me something that her dad had done to her 2 weeks ago, when she told me I contacted the police and they spoke to her, she wouldn’t tell them anything and would clam up at the subject. The police said I had to send her back to her dads in line with the court order we have, social services are now involved too, they have also said to follow the court order. The police have opened a criminal investigation this past week and said someone would contact me and hasn’t, I chased it up and still no call, social care were also supposed to call me Friday following a GP appointment and never did, I called them and they said I’d get a call back, same with police and I’ve had radio silence from both. My ex questioned our daughter and found out police were at mine and he’s assumed they were there for my younger 2’s dad and made a doctors appointment to point fingers at why my daughters depressed (she’s 6, she’s unhappy and her dad has never taken her MH seriously).

He then cornered me outside and asked me why the police were there and I just said because our child made an allegation against him, and he said “well they must not be concerned”

I don’t know what to do in this situation, my solicitor is taking a long time to get back to me, I’ve been told I can’t use PR by services and to follow the court order but it doesn’t seem right, I have autism and I’m overthinking that somehow the will say I’ve been neglectful for not stopping her going to her dads or something along those lines, what happens if she won’t talk about what she said? What happens to her dad? What happens with contact? I’m confused, scared and frankly depressed as I can’t give her the help she needs.

Dear Galaxlily,

Thank you for your post. I am Suzie, the online adviser for Family Rights Group and I will be answering your post today. You can click on the hyperlinks in my answer to take you to information and advice on our website.

I am sorry to hear about this situation and imagine it must be very stressful for you and your daughter. You are in a very difficult situation as you want to protect your daughter from harm, but you have been advised by children’s services and the police that you should allow contact in line with the child arrangements order.

It is not possible for me to tell you what you should do, particularly as you have not shared the details of what your daughter said that her father did to her, but ultimately as you are her mother and you hold parental responsibility you can withhold (or change) contact if you feel that this is necessary to keep her safe. Children’s services and the police can give you advice, but they do not hold parental responsibility for your daughter, so the decision is up to you. You do not need to apply to court to withhold contact – if your daughter is at risk of harm then you can breach the child arrangements order. However it would be a good idea to speak with your solicitor urgently about this and they can then make an application to court if necessary for the longer term.

I see that you have updated that you would chase children’s services, the police and your solicitor, and I hope that more information has been shared with you.

Children’s services should work with you and your daughter’s father to try and arrange contact in a way which is safe and in your daughter’s best interests. For example you could discuss whether contact could be in a public place, or whether there is anyone who could act as a supervisor. The social worker can act as a mediator between yourself and the father if you find it difficult to communicate with him.

It may be helpful to discuss your concerns with your daughter’s school. There might be a teacher or member of staff that your daughter feels particularly comfortable with who could spend some time with her and encourage her to talk about anything which is worrying her. It seems that you are worried about your daughter’s mental health, and some schools have school counsellors or therapists who can offer support to children who are struggling.

Finally, it may be helpful for you to contact Young Minds. They have a parents helpline which you can call for free on 0808 802 5544 for advice and information about how to support your daughter.

I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons.

Best wishes,
Suzie
Family Rights Group Adviser