Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

In 2017 we were matched to adopt 2 sibling sisters - “G” (4 y/o) was physically abusing and dominating her younger sister “E” (1.5 y/o). In the permanence report, the child psychologist stated that the girls should be placed separately – this was ignored by the Local Authority (LA).
We were told we had nothing to worry about, and caught up in the excitement of being matched, we went ahead.
G has always been difficult to manage, showed very little emotion towards anyone, violent, a lack of remorse mainly towards her younger sister (punching, biting, scratching, kicking) – and compulsive lying.
E is the complete opposite, very kind, loving – well behaved.
In May 2024, we got G a mobile phone to keep in touch with friends that were changing schools. We took it off her as discipline and the false claims of physical abuse started. The Social Worker (SW) insisted we return the phone and told G that she would make us give it back. We refused, as this would embolden G.
There were a few more accusations made in August and September 2024 when phone was taken for bad behaviour, and I was excluded from my home for a few days by the Police/SWs for an event G claimed happened on the school run that E denied.
The next week, G forearm smashed E in the face on the back seat of the car while I was driving them home. This didn’t concern the SW at all when reported, as it had happened between the girls.
A week later, G was on a rampage trying to pull the kitchen to bits. We called social services for help 3 times over 2 hours, each time, the receptionist promised a call back. After the 3rd call, G threatened me with a very sharp 8” paring knife, and I persuaded her to put it down. We finally got our call back and I was told off for discussing what had just happened to the caller while G was potentially in earshot.
We made the decision to have G taken into care under a section 20. This was to be temporary, until G could get a psychological assessment/therapeutic work to feel safe in the house with her. E was so much more settled at home, and not fearful for her sister. In September 2024, we also sought the help of local support organisation “ANE”. After a promising first call, they vanished – we were chasing them up from Sep to Jan 2025.
In February 2025, it seemed clear that the LA and ANE were in no rush to get G the help needed, so we put out a statement via our solicitor, stating our intent not to have G return home, as we would not feel safe with her.
We got a new SW, who seemed biased in her considerations towards G. She demonstrated her position of power to bully us at every opportunity.
After G learned she was not coming home, she made new allegations to the Police after suddenly developing a fear of the bath (5 months after going into care). She was interviewed and claimed we held her head under water for 2 minutes at every bathtime for a few months prior to leaving home.
7 weeks later she was reinterviewed (with video) for the same allegations and told a completely story - she claimed to be punched, kicked and scratched in and out of the bath, over a 2 year period (no mention of being submerged). She also claimed to have shown her frequent injuries to 2 named teachers, E didn’t corroborate her story. No records made by those 2 teachers.
The LA lodged proceedings to have both E and G in permanent foster care. The Police delayed interviewing us until 2 weeks before the family court case and the police case is still open. G made 2 documented false accusations of assault against 2 separate teachers also.
The court case came, and our barristers were very poor, allowing the LA’s Barrister to walk all over us. They didn’t bring up the huge discrepancies between G’s 2 Police interviews for “bathtime. With the Police case still open, the Judge assumed guilt on the physical abuse accusations, saying that sometimes assault doesn’t result in visible injuries.
The SW made multiple claims that she knew were false, I had challenged her on a number of points in her “parental assessment” at child in care meetings – she had every chance to correct them but presented them to court as true.
The removal of E into care was judged as a close call (balancing definite harm of removal vs potential harm if she stayed in our care). The deciding factors were the belief that G was telling the truth about physical abuse/chastisement, and we wouldn’t do DDP training. We agreed to do DDP, at our own expense,the SW claimed that we had not engaged ANE and refused their help, so would not do DDP. The SW undermined our attempts to get ANE to commit to therapeutic work in May 2025, when she sent an email to ANE telling them to cease all enquiries, while we were still engaging with ANE – we were only aware of her email via court documents.
There were 5 specific clear cases of perjury by that SW and we were given the opportunity to bring up 3 of them in court and they were ignored by the judge – she’d made her mind up on day 1 of the case.
We only learned after starting DDP training that adopted and fostered children have a high propensity to make false accusations against their carers, as the bond is weaker (generally) than for birth parents – they can make accusations in order to get revenge for discipline, exert power over their carers, or to deflect feelings of guilt/shame – not considered by the LA or judge.
The absolute lack of common sense here is baffling us.
The SW showed shortly after the court case that she has no regard for E’s wellbeing:-
1. Our contact with E was subject to a reduction plan, from twice a week initially to once a week after 3 weeks, then to once a fortnight thereafter. For the first 2 weeks we only saw E once a week – we protested each week. The SW was looking to score points against us and not bothered about making E feel isolated.
2. The care plan stated that the 2 girls should not live together (due to the risk of G physically harming E) but the SW arranged for E to be staying with G for 3 nights, 2 weeks after E was taken into care. E was attacked by G, she showed us the huge bite mark and bruising – the SW tried to cover the incident up.
The girls are both fostered less than a mile from home, and SW told them they can’t visit the local beach (I walk the dog there), because we are “dangerous”.
I sent a 19 point letter of complaint to the LA Head of Child Services which hasn’t been acknowledged yet. 2 working days later, at G’s child in care meeting, the SW announced that due to a department “reshuffle” she was no longer going to be G and E’s SW (she had said in previous meeting she would be the girls SW long term).
I am hoping that the points of perjury could be used towards considering discharging the court order in future once the Police case is gone and we’ve done our DDP work – is there any reasonable chance of that?
Any further advice for trying to get E back? E did not want to leave our care and we had 10 trouble free months when it was just E in the home.

There's a fair few detail gaps in the post above. I'm taking the "reshuffle" of the SW as a positive - it would seem from the timing that my complaint is being taken seriously, I had 7 appended documents that originated from the LA which prove some of my points of perjury, misrepresentation information to gain the school's apparent approval of the decision to remove E (SW claimed psychologist's report supported E's removal, when it does not, and told this to the school, who could not review the report due to confidentiality, to be able to state their approval of the LA's proposal) and a blatant disregard for E's welfare.

I'm guessing the LA will hope I'll leave everything alone without having to acknowledge the complaint officially, but I want to see this through to the end, not only to exonerate ourselves, but also to ensure that SW is unable to do what she has done to our family to anyone else.

I had put together a comprehensive skeleton argument upon receiving the judgement, and presented it to our barristers for appeal. They said we had no grounds of appeal. This may be because it would have highlighted all of the counterarguments they should have made in court.

I have summed and ahhed about sending the skeleton argument preparation to the judge herself in the hope she would read it and reconsider, but I keep getting told there's no chance.

I'm also considering writing to our local councillors and MP - would I have a better chance in presenting our case to a local councillor/MP that isn't representing the local authority e.g. would a conservative MP push harder against a Labour run local authority?

What would be the possibility of our case being reexamined if the Social Worker was found guilty of misconduct?

Hi DFRE3,

I’m so sorry you are living this. You stepped up as adopters, you asked for help, you documented the problems, and you were still met with a process that felt stacked against you. Your frustration makes sense.

Two things matter now, truth and procedure. You already have the first in your paperwork, the second is how you turn it into results.

Where you actually are
Appeal windows are narrow and only about legal errors. If your evidence was not put properly, that often kills an appeal, even when you are right on the facts. That does not end your route. Your primary path is discharge of the order once there is significant change in circumstances and a clean record of procedural failings.

Your three-front plan

Front 1, Complaints, Ombudsman, Regulator

Get your Stage 1 complaint formally acknowledged in writing. If you get a weak answer or no answer inside the timescale, escalate to Stage 2 independent investigation.

If Stage 2 is unsatisfactory, go to the Local Government and Social Care Ombudsman. Ask for findings of maladministration causing injustice, reference the psychologist report being misrepresented, the ANE email telling them to cease enquiries, the incident where E was bitten while in foster care, and any misstatements you can evidence.

Separately refer the social worker to Social Work England with your exhibits. SWE does not change court orders, but an upheld finding later is strong supporting material for discharge.

Front 2, Police case

Prioritise getting the police outcome closed. An NFA decision, or anything that undercuts the allegations relied on, is classic “significant change”. When that lands, make immediate Subject Access Requests for the police and LA files, including ABE transcripts and chronologies, so you have the full record.

Front 3, Therapeutic evidence

Finish DDP and keep certificates or letters of completion. If the judgment leaned on non-engagement, proof of completion removes that plank. Keep any therapy and support letters in a tidy evidence portfolio.

When to move on discharge
When the police case is closed and you have completed DDP, you can instruct on a Section 39 Children Act discharge application for E. Your bundle should include:

Outcome of the police case and interview inconsistencies, plus the absence of teacher records where they were said to exist,

The psychologist’s advice that the girls should not live together, and the LA’s decision to place them together post-removal, plus evidence of harm to E,

Proof the SW interfered with ANE engagement and misrepresented documents,

DDP completion and any other therapeutic work,

Any Ombudsman or SWE findings if they land in time, or confirmation those investigations are active.

Important practical's

DO NOT write to the judge directly about your skeleton argument. That is improper and will be ignored. Save it for discharge or JR.

In parallel, brief your MP and local councillors with a short, evidenced chronology, attach the 19-point complaint and key exhibits, and ask them to write to the Director of Children’s Services and the Chief Executive. Keep it factual and concise, not emotional.

Document every contact decision about E, including the reduction plan and any blocked family time. If contact is managed in a way that isolates E, it goes to welfare impact.

Keep a single master chronology and an evidence index. Courts, Ombudsman, SWE and MPs respond fastest when they can see the timeline in one page and click straight to exhibits.

On the social worker “reshuffle”
Reassignment right after your complaint is telling, but it is not a remedy by itself. Treat it as a sign your documents hit a nerve, then keep the process formal so there is a published outcome you can use later.

Bottom line
You did not lose because you were wrong. You lost because your evidence was not given its proper weight and because findings were made while the criminal issue was still live. Close the police piece, finish DDP, push the complaints to written outcomes, then go back on discharge for E with a tight, evidenced bundle. That is the route with the best chance.

If you want, I can help you turn your 19 points and seven exhibits into a clean Stage 2 pack and a one-page MP briefing next, but best to DM me here ( use the speech bubble next to my name) if you want any more help.
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For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.

Hi Winter25,

Thanks for taking the time to put together that comprehensive response. I will message you as per your kind offer for assistance.

Official deadline to acknowledge my complaint about the social worker as per the LA's own guidelines is 10 working days, but I sent it to the head of children's services rather than the official email for complaints on the afternoon of Thursday 2nd Oct, so end of play this Thursday 16th is that 10 day deadline. If I don't hear back by then, I'll resend it to the correct address and state the head has had it since the 2nd. However, given the SW announced her transfer on Tues 7th Oct, I would say it's been looked at promptly.

I'll have to give you that response tomorrow when I've got more time.

I could help the Police to speed up their investigation by supplying the 2 teacher statements that confirm G accused them of assault and provide the comparison table of the 2 interviews - perhaps I would need a Solicitors advice before I did that.

Thanks again for your support and advice so far, will be in touch tomorrow.

If there’s no acknowledgement by Thursday, definitely resend it to the official complaints address and reference the original date and recipient. It shows you’ve already followed procedure and won’t let them stall.

The timing of the social worker’s “transfer” just days after your complaint went in still speaks volumes , you’ve rattled the right cage.

And yes, before sending anything like the teacher statements or your comparison table to police, it’s wise to check with your solicitor first. You want to make sure it doesn’t accidentally affect the ongoing investigation or how the evidence is handled

I got your DM and responded

Thanks again for your thorough responses - I have DM'd you.

In terms of your Police point above:-

Front 2, Police case

Prioritise getting the police outcome closed. An NFA decision, or anything that undercuts the allegations relied on, is classic “significant change”. When that lands, make immediate Subject Access Requests for the police and LA files, including ABE transcripts and chronologies, so you have the full record.

I already have ABE transcripts, as they were disclosed to me in the lead up to the court case, which has enabled me to make my clear comparisons between the 2 interviews of G - when we were questioned, we were asked questions based on the content of both interviews of G, presented to us for questioning as if they were one consistent and cohesive story from G. I will ask for subject access requests when the outcome is closed anyway, for their decision making documentation etc.

Dear DR3E

Thank you for your posts. I am Suzie, Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry that your family has had such distressing experiences. It sounds as if your daughter G’s specific needs/how she would adapt to family life with you and her sister were not properly considered prior to her being placed with you. The child psychologist’s recommendations were not followed. Then when you adopted the girls, you may not have been offered sufficient post-adoption support.

You have set out how your family's circumstances were difficult and how the home situation deteriorated, your daughter's behaviour was very challenging, she made allegations against you resulting in a police investigation and there were further incidents where she was threatening or aggressive at home. You wanted a psychological /therapeutic assessment to clarify her needs and support required. You asked children’s services to place her in temporary foster care under a voluntary section 20 arrangement until this could be completed.

Due to a lack of help and difficulties with accessing a local programme, your solicitor informed children’s services that your daughter could not return home due to safety concerns. Your younger child was still in your care then.

However, your older daughter made further allegations of physical abuse resulting in a new ongoing police investigation. Children’s services began care proceedings ending with the court making a care order for both girls. You explain that the decision to remove your younger daughter from your care was finely balanced but was made based on the court’s finding that the allegations of physical abuse made by your eldest daughter were true and as they were concerned you were not doing recommended training.

You highlight your concerns about poor legal representation and about the social worker’s conduct in court and in practice. You say that you were only able to raise some concerns about the social worker allegedly lying under oath with the court but they were dismissed.

You hoped to appeal the court’s decision to make the care order, but your legal advisor said you did not have grounds.

You are now making a complaint about the social worker. I have provided advice about this on your other thread. You were expecting a response to your stage 1 complaint by yesterday. I hope you received it. You may be aware that the complaints process does not consider matters decided upon in court, but it can address complaints about social work practice, decisions and actions outside the court process.

The social worker who is the subject of the complaint is no longer your daughters’ social worker. I hope the new social worker will work in partnership with you and you can have a better working relationship .

You're concerned that contact with your youngest child has reduced. You are working towards her return home and are taking several steps to try to achieve this. You wonder if your case will be re-examined if your argument that the social worker committed misconduct is upheld.

You state your concern about an incident where one child was hurt by her sister while in care and how the social worker dealt with it – I think that is something you have raised already in your complaint.

My advice will focus on what you can do to try to ensure that you have the best possible arrangements for contact with your daughter and the routes to a child returning home from care.

Children and parents usually see each other regularly during care proceedings as no final decision has been made so they may return home (or in your youngest's situation, stay at home). But once a care order is made it is usual that the frequency of contact reduces. But every child’s needs are different. All decisions should take account of her wishes and feelings, her parents’ view and the social work assessment. And children’s services have a fundamental duty to promote contact, where safe for the child.

You can put in writing to the social worker that you are unhappy with contact, copying in their team manager and the IRO setting out what you think would meet her needs better and why. You can consider these tips from research which highlight the benefits for children of positive, properly supported contact with their parents.

The Looked After Child review will review contact so prepare for that too with evidence of how contact is going or might be improved.

It is good to hear that you are accessing the DPP programme; this is already enhancing your awareness of the children’s needs. It is good evidence to show to children’s services and/or the court.

At every LAC review the IRO must consider if the current care plan continues to be the right plan for the child and if returning home to a parent should be assessed. You can continue to keep this on the agenda with children’s services. When you believe you may be successful you can formally ask that they agree to do a reunification assessment. You should ask for a copy of their local policy on this.

You can apply to end a care order if you can show a significant change in circumstances. It is not usually possible to evidence this quickly and not within 6 months of a care order being made. Please see this information on applying to discharge a care order.

The police investigation is still open; you want to try to get this finished as soon as possible. You are going to gather as much information as you can via subject access requests to the police. Of course, it is important for you and your family to have an outcome.

However, the conclusion of the criminal process does not mean that the family court case will be reopened. The family court has already made decisions based on the lower civil burden of proof i.e. on the balance of probabilities. If you were considering making an out of time appeal or applying to end the care order based on this, please seek legal advice from a specialist children law accredited solicitor.

You have raised a lot of issues and are likely to have more queries. You may find it helpful to speak to an experienced adviser which you can do by calling the freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 (9.30 am to 3.00 pm) or please do post back on this forum or send an advice enquiry, if that is better for you.

You may be aware already of the POTATO group (Parents of Traumatised Adopted Teens) but I will include a link for your information and as they have published research about the difficulties some young people and their parents face.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie