Shame that comes from having S47 against my name

[Moonlight Sonata]

Even though a s47 was done due to malicious false allegations, it is till on record and although I've now asked for corrections to be added, I still feel so much shame that this record is there, forever. I feel as if instead of anything else, my child and I are now treated more poorly and with contempt by health and other professionals when this s47 is mentioned, because it's automatically believed that as a parent I must have definitely done something bad. And as for my child, no matter what happens to her, it seems as if it's this that determines how she is treated by professionals. I feel a lot of shame and sadness at the negative impact this has had in our lives even though social services isn't involved in our lives, it feels as if we've been stigmatised. I no longer ask for help and no longer feel safe.

[Winter25]

Hi Moonlight Sonata,

What you’ve written will resonate with more parents than you probably realise. It does with me and I had10 years of it.

The shame you’re describing is very real, but it does not mean the shame belongs to you. A section 47 is a record that an investigation happened. It is not a finding that you abused your child at all in anyway, and it is not proof that you did something wrong either. In your case, from everything you’ve described, it was triggered by malicious allegations and you then acted protectively by removing your child from that environment.

What often leaves the deepest wound is not even the investigation itself, but the feeling of being permanently marked afterwards which is what your describing . Parents start to feel watched, judged, or disbelieved before they have even opened their mouth. That can make asking for help feel unsafe. You are not weak or irrational for feeling that way.

I think it may help to hold onto three things.

First, a record is not the same as a verdict. Professionals should read the whole picture, not just the existence of an s47 marker. In your case, the full picture includes that the matter closed, that social services supported you leaving, and that you protected your child from a deeply harmful situation.

Second, the fact you have asked for corrections or clarification to be added is important. That is you taking back some control over the paper trail instead of letting a false version sit there unchallenged.

Third, your fear of asking for help now is understandable, but please do not let a malicious report silence you forever where your child’s safety or needs are concerned. A bad experience with one investigation does not take away your right to advocate for your child., ever.

The hardest part of all this is that false allegations can create a kind of internalised stigma. You start to carry the label even when the facts do not support it. But none of what you wrote sounds like a neglectful or dangerous parent. It sounds like a parent who protected her child, got burned by the system, and is still carrying the emotional scar.

Please be gentle with yourself about that. The record may exist, but it does not define your worth, your parenting, or your child’s future.

My partner is on the register, that holds huge stigma, even though 80% of people on the register factually are on there for non sexual thoughts (downloads), it still holds a stigma because people do not understand, they judge. But I have learnt to let go of that, Learnt than I won't allow anyone in this one life of mine to tell me who I am , what type of parent I know I am, or define my life. This mind set allowed me to learn and win my cases.

Do not let this define you or your children, the past is behind you. You can not alter it, but you can move away from it and move on from it.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Moonlight Sonata,

Thank you for your further post. This is Suzie here, the online adviser for Family Rights Group.

I am sorry to hear how difficult you are finding the aftermath of the malicious allegation that was made by your mother. You feel that you are being treated differently by professionals who are involved with your daughter. You feel that professionals automatically believe that you must have done something wrong because there was a section 47 investigation.

I am sorry to hear that you no longer feel able to ask for help and don’t feel safe. It sounds like the whole experience has affected you very much. This is totally understandable and I wonder if it may be useful for you to speak with a therapist or counsellor to help you to process this very upsetting experience. Therapists and counsellors can be found on the UKCP website or the BACP directory. You could also ask your GP to be referred to NHS talking therapy in your area (although this may have a longer waiting list). There are also charities like Supportline who can be contacted on 01708 765200 and provide emotional support to anyone who needs it. The Samaritans also provides confidential, emotional support if you need someone to talk to. Please do not be afraid to reach out for support (as you have done by posting on this forum) – you have been through a very upsetting process and it is understandable that it has affected you negatively. What is important now is that you get the support you need to be able to move on from this experience so that you can feel safe and confident when working with professionals.

You have received some reassuring advice from Winter25 and I would like to reiterate that professionals should not make any judgements about a person’s parenting capacity just because a section 47 investigation was carried out. They will be aware that allegations are sometimes malicious and that there is a duty for children’s services to make enquiries. This does not mean that a parent is at fault. Your child should never be treated ‘differently’ just because there is a historical section 47 record on her files.

Please ensure that if you are worried about your child, or feel that you need help, that you do reach out. This is important so that you can get the right support at the right time.

I hope that this is of some help. Please do post again if you would find it helpful. You can also call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) if you would find it helpful to talk things through with an adviser (this can all be done confidentially – there is no need to share your name or other identifying details if you prefer not to). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons.

Best wishes,
Suzie