Restricted husband from coming home.

[Waggers]

Greetings.

I hope this message finds you well.

I am deaf and have three children by different fathers. The youngest child’s biological father is my husband, with whom I have been living together as a family.

He moved to the UK two years ago from an African country and has been very supportive of both me and the children.

One of his main principles is strict parenting. He filters adult content from the devices used by our older daughter. This appears to have led her to make allegations of sexual assault. As a result, the school made a referral to Social Services and the police. My husband was arrested and released on bail, even though he has no family or support network in the UK.

During a subsequent police interview conducted with our daughter at her school, she stated that she did not wish to pursue the matter any further. The police therefore dropped the case with the outcome “No Further Action”.

The police contacted me directly to inform me that the case had been closed and asked whether I had any questions. I asked whether this meant my husband could return home as normal, since the bail conditions had been lifted. They confirmed that this was the case.

However, at a subsequent core group meeting, Social Services stated that my husband should not have unsupervised contact with anyone under the age of 17 unless approved by them. When I pointed out that the police case had been closed, they initially claimed that my husband had told me this information. I corrected them, explaining that the police had informed me directly. They did not pursue the matter further.

During the same meeting, Social Services stated that my husband would be allowed to return home after a risk assessment had been completed and that they would make a referral the following week. When the referral was made, I discovered it was for me, not for my husband. I completed the assessment and the report was sent to Social Services.

In the report, Social Services misrepresented what I had said. I became upset and contacted the professionals who had carried out the assessment. They confirmed that I had indeed provided them with the correct information and were shocked by the inaccuracies in the Social Services report. I forwarded the report to them, and they questioned whether Social Services was breaching their code of ethics.

The report also stated that my husband would still need to undergo a risk assessment, which I find both distressing and incorrect, as he has never had one.

I am struggling to manage the three children on my own. My husband has been extremely supportive and has carried out approximately 70% of the more demanding tasks, while I handle the simpler ones. Last Friday night, I fainted in the bathroom due to stress and depression. The baby was left on the bed and the other two children were asleep. It is worrying to imagine what could have happened.

The children have repeatedly asked Social Services to allow their father to return home, but their wishes do not appear to be taken into account.

I have already informed Social Services that we are willing to install domestic CCTV in the living room and hallway so that any future allegations can be properly reviewed. They have stated that this is not their concern and that we may do so if we wish. At the same time, they are accusing me of failing to take protective action, which I do not fully understand. I am not in employment and am at home full-time. My husband is the one who works, and there has been no opportunity for any sexual assault to have occurred.

Note: All the reports I have received contain consistent inaccuracies. Despite my repeated requests for corrections, these have not been made. Social Services have informed me that they rely on “Magic Notes” which summarise the information

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Waggers,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ forum. I am Suzie, an online adviser for Family Rights Group. I am sorry to hear about your challenging circumstances. This must be a very difficult time for you and your family.

I am not clear from your post whether children’s services involvement is via a child protection plan or a child in need plan.

You can read more about child in need here.

You can read more about child protection .

Children’s services duties to protect children from significant harm (S.47 of the Children Act 1989) or to befriend and assist them if they are in a challenging situation (S.17 of the Children Act) raise entirely different considerations to any criminal enquiry.

The police were involved to establish whether a crime had been committed, and it was decided that as your older daughter said that she did not wish to pursue the matter no further action would be taken. Children’s services still have a continuing duty to address child welfare considerations.

You explain that you have had an assessment – which is likely to have been to gauge your protective capacity, as the parent without allegations made against them, and now responsible for following the safety plan agreed with children’s services, which stipulates that your husband should not live at the same address for now. Your husband is still awaiting risk assessment.

You write that the report from children’s services based on the independent assessment contained factual inaccuracies and misquotations and that you feel that some of this may be due to use of ‘magic notes’ an AI application. I would suggest that you raise this with the social worker and social work team manager and ask that the factual inaccuracies be amended. You could also consider making a formal complaint. You can read about the complaints procedure here.

Please bear in mind that children’s services will have prepared their report and position in response to the independent assessment completed with you so there may also be some differences of opinion and analysis also.
You explain that you are struggling to cope with the care of the three children alone due to stress and depression, and that the children are missing your husband and wish him to return. As part of the support plan for the children (under S.17 child in need or S.47 child protection) you could ask that consideration is given to practical and emotional support for you as a parent in these stressful circumstances.

Useful links to organisations that can give emotional support are here.

Lucy Faithfull Foundation are a specialist agency that can advise on prevention of sexual harm, and support anybody affected by these issues. You can link to their website
here.

It’s also important to consider other family and friends as sources of support. Family group conference is a way for the informal network around your children to come together with the help of a professional chair to consider how they can best support the children. You can read more about family group conference.here.

I would suggest that you ask for a meeting with the social worker and social work team manager to discuss a support plan for you as a parent and to find out time frames for the risk assessment for your husband and details of any therapeutic work or parent education that they wish him to undertake.

These issues should also be reviewed by the core group of professionals who come together under the child in need plan or child protection plan to discuss whether the plan is still working to meet the children’s needs or whether amendments need to be made.

I hope this information was useful to you.
You can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak in person with an adviser. We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons, and an advice enquiry form.

Best wishes,
Suzie