Need help and good advice

[princess27]

My ex got a residence order over my three year old dd, he smokes weed but ss don't believe me they adore him?? I can't say more as I come across as petty to him, the reason he has residence is due to my 7 yr old (different dad) and his brother age 7 behaving concerning at school but they had hard to manage behaviour anyway when assessments were carried out all children were removed and placed in care apart from my three yr old daughter my ex took her, my parenting was observed as good and net her needs at contact but as she was settled she stayed with him now till she's 18.

In the order it stated reasonable contact Wednesday and alternate wk ends, but she can't see my current partner as she called him "dad" ex didn't like this!

My daughter accident say my partner for 10-15 seconds as my two daughters (now at home on care order) went up to see my daughter as it states in the order but as she cought glimpse of my partner she went home saying "daddy I saw (partners name)" I got a nasty text off my ex and had to block his number, my daughter said daddy hits me so I reported it now he's stopped my 3hr sat and 3 hour Sunday contact (there at mums house as he won't let her come mine as he makes the rules) now I spoke to my solicitor and she said he's in his right to stop it as it says "reasonable" so apparently that's what it is??? I do come across as hard to him in this and to ss but I've had a terrible 6 1/2 months list two little boys to fostercare and my beautiful little girl I'm happy I have my other two at home but it still hurts without others here miss them so much

[frustrated mum]

Im sorry im not an expert on these matters, I know we don't have all the details on your case but it sounds horrid.
Whats the problem with your ex knowing that you have a partner and yes difficult for him hearing his daughter call this man dad but shame on him for stopping her from seeing you and your family.
unfortunately from bits that I understand as hes got residency of your daughter he can stop the visits but this is totally out of order .
Did you keep the nasty text?
I also seek advice from netmums there are lots of parents going through the same problems as us folk on here. you can also get advice on there from woman aid , not saying you need it. I personally have found it quite useful.
All the best xx

[princess27]

I've posted on net mums before my name is *** R(350) it's just nothing seems right, they way and Nannie everything's gone on I feel my sons are in care just to meet "targets" and although he's the two boys were removed on risk of sexual harm (1 son said a bad word in school) and 1 sons autistic well on the autistic spectrum so my daughter was at risk or liklyhood even tho I've never been arrested or interviewed under caution but they seem it was fir best my other two (15 months and 4 months ) were returned in 14/10/13 under care order I'm doing everything right going to my two sons pep/ review meetings and taking my bbe weighing clinic every three weeks and all immunisations and checks


Edited by Suzie at *** to remove identifying information.

[coachkev]

Having 5 children is a massive life changing experience ,there isn't many parents that could coupe with out some form of help ,mostly family members to help out regularly .I was part of a family of 5 kids that broke down (mum picking boyfriends over kids) ive been in a childrens home & foster care family's ,but all the time i was with ss i was still better of with them than at home.
If i was you and you really want your children back listen and learn to the ss believe it or not they are there to help the parent and child ,the problem is the parent doesn't like whats happy so its just easier to blame the people taking something away, and lets not forget being spoken to like a child, when most off the ss haven't even had any children .Try to use the ss for advise and training, thinking about yourself and make changes then the children will follow.
I never blame the parents when children go into care because they've had parents as well ,if we don't get tort how to do something the correct way, then people make mistakes .When children are involved there carnt be any mistakes
Not shore if ive helped but good look anyway

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear princess27

Welcome back to the parent's board. I note that I advised you some time ago. Were you able to take up the suggestion to attend mediation or a NIAM meeting?

It may be worth trying to give it one more chance to see if you are able to resolve the communication difficulties with your ex partner in the presence of a third party.

As he has a residence (or child arrangement order) for the children you will be aware this means he shares parental responsiblity for those children with you. However it does mean that you need to find a way to work together for the children's best interests.

Just thought I would mention it, to see if you can improve how you communicate with each other, which can only be of benefit to the children. It is also something the court would expect if you were thinking about going back to court. In that event you may wish to contact the Children's Legal Centre on 0808 802 008 for further advice, as they specialise in private law matters.

Best Wishes

Suzie