On CAF level stressed and fed up

[blueplain]

I am currently on a CAF level (common assessment framework) We wanted to work with CAF because our 4 children have various degrees of learning difficulties of which we wanted to try and understand and get support with. This support has provided a lot of positive progress. We are working with FAST to understand our children's DAMP, Global Delay and autism. We also have portage who come into our home and show us learning techniques that work around their difficulties. However the level is providing a very stressful byproduct. During these meetings the school give feedback about our children's progress, their behavior and their presentation. With their difficulties both us and the CAF members understand the children's issues around their behavior. However during the past two meetings, each meeting every four months. The school first reported two of our children being smelly and then on the second meeting, one of our children being smelly (smelling of urine and dirt) The chairman asked us why this was occurring as children can be bullied if they are smelly. I understood his concerns however I explained to him that the children have a bath every morning, this includes full body wash with soap and hair wash with shampoo. Furthermore the children all share the same bath and so are bathed equally the same. I went on to say that their school clothes are washed and dried every night. The clothes come out completely dry which would cancel out the prospect of damp. I therefor concluded with him that the smell of my one child is an enigma to me and that their was nothing I could do about it since I was taking all necessary steps. He then countered my argument by saying

"If you do not sort out this smell by the next meeting this will be reported to the children services, if you are struggling or unable to cope with your home routine I can organize some support in that area"

I then went on to tell him that we had already had a FRS worker recently that worked with us to strengthen our home routine around our children's special needs and that she removed herself very happy with our situation. He then repeated that he can organize home help and that he would have to report the situation if it was not addressed.

I want to know what I could do about this. This is a voluntary level and I want to work with the professionals around our children's medical needs. I am now very stressed and anxious and can not enjoy the support because the CAF now feels like a risk assessment filled with stigma. Could I request that my children's presentation not to be discussed? After all if the school was concerned enough they would of reported the issue themselves to children services.

[ange301126]

Dear blueplain,I had this same problem and will message you.in the meantime,briefly,my special needs child was bathed and changed regularly too.She was incontinent due to ASD. She was leaving us spotless but soiling herself whilst out of our care either on the long school bus journey or once she arrived probably the former.These children have communication difficulties and cannot express ther need for the toilet.Except by screams which are often misinterpreted on a school bus. I pointed out that she often arrived home smelly too despite us sending her in with spare pullups.You cannot possibly sort it out yourself unless you keep the child wth you all the time.If you're child isn't,then he or she should be in a special needs school with staff who can recognise and deal with the problem.

[blueplain]

Thank you for your advice and private message ange. Sorry I took so long to reply. I have moved house right next to the school and had a lot to sort out.

Since the move we have rehoused our dog. Since we did that, the smell situation seems to have gone away. I asked the teacher each day when I pick him up and he says that my child's presentation and smell was great. Unfortunately our family pet had to be rehoused due to one teacher having a sensitivity to pet smells. That is what you expect on any level of support when your children's welfare is involved. The next meeting therefor should be rather pleasant (touch wood)