What can I do?

[looking-for-help]

Where do I start! My Daughter's school called me in to tell me they wanted to place her on the special educational needs register...it was a complete shock because as far as I was aware she had been getting on fine and I had not had any worries about her behaviour. I told the school about my concerns and asked if we could treat this as a behavioural thing and to keep me informed more often so we could work together. Things got slightly worse and I agreed to an assessment by the school nurse...she told me my daughter was borderline needing outside help and if I wanted I could wait and see how things went. My Daughter went up a year in school and changed teachers and her behaviour improved so I was led to believe. The head then said he wanted outside help but I refused due to my Daughters behaviour improving and he told me because I wasn't cooperating he would be forced to get ss involved. Months later my Daughter mentioned in class how I have disciplined with a wooden spoon in the house before (it was only ever a couple of times with a tap on the bum fully clothed) and the next thing I know the school have got in touch with ss telling them of this and adding the fact I wouldn't allow outside help for my Daughter.
SS visited the house and we were honest and upfront with them. The next day we went to collect the children from school only to be told they were being removed from our care and SS had an EPO in place. Thankfully they went to stay with my mum while we were investigated. The social worker was horrible...showing no compassion for any of us all the while taking notes on how we were acting. We were not allowed to speak to or see the children until we had all been interviewed. The police took no further action and they even pulled strings to get my Daughter interviewed on the Saturday but the social worker said she wanted to be there and it would have to wait til Monday. That was the longest 48 hours of our lives...Monday came and I then found out the social worker had taken leave so she wasn't going to be there anyway...I was so upset because we could have got the children back sooner had we known.
The children came back on the Monday and they had all (3) been affected by our separation but my son the worst. He is only 4 and has since suffered anger issues which we are working on.
I attended a child protection conference where some of the reports were full of inaccuracies and although I was able to have my say it was still decided that the children should be placed on a child protection plan. There are actions that need to be fulfilled by the next conference and they are not being kept to by no fault of my own. The social worker is supposed to visit us every 10 days but I have only seen them twice since nov and every appointment they make is cancelled by them at last minute. We are supposed to have a parenting course at home but the woman doing it has not even bothered to show up to our appointments and I can't get hold of her. Its having such an effect on my health that I have been off work on/off with stress. I just want this whole nightmare over with and I am trying to do everything that's been asked of us but I don't know what else to do. We have been treated like we are terrible parents which is so far from the truth...my kids are happy, content, and loving but ss only see what they want to see.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear looking for help,

Welcome to the parents board! I am very sorry that your children were removed by an emergency protection order (EPO). It must have been very stressful for you and your children. I am glad that it was only for such a short period of time and that they were reunited back home with you. I am also glad that they placed your chidlren with grandma.

I don’t know whether children services discussed other possibilities with you before going to court for an emergancy protection order. Often, children services first ask that the adult that they are worried may be abusing a child leave the family home, or they ask for your consent for your children to be accommodated-for them to go into care. They would then have to consider placing with family or friends (like grandma). Did this happen?
It is unusual to rush straight to court.

Because you admitted used a wooden spoon to chastise your daughter, this meant that children services would have been worried that a criminal assault had taken place. There is a fine line between "reasonable chastisement" (which is a defence in law) and assault (which is a criminal offence). When an implement is used then it would have automatically been treated as an alleged assault and children services were under a duty to inform the police. The police had decided to take no further action. However, this allegation had still raised the possibility that your children may be harmed and children services had remained involved.
Child Protection Plan

A child protection plan will be agreed by the conference when there is evidence that your children suffered significant harm or were placed at risk of suffering significant harm and that risk is still an ongoing risk.
The purpose of the child protection plan is to provide support and monitoring so that any risk is reduced so that the plan is no longer needed and that your children are considered to be safe.

So it must be very frustrating to know that you are working to the child protection plan but children services are not. I am very surprised that the social worker is not carrying out the visits that are expected by the law. You could also be benefiting from the parenting support that was supposed to have happened.

Has the review conference taken place yet? This must be due very soon. You could raise these points at the review. You could point out that you have been cooperating with the plan but other professionals have not. If you agree to continue to cooperate, you could also suggest that this happens under a child in need plan instead of the child protection plan. Before the review conference, you should have a short meeting with the chairman/woman. I suggest that your concerns at this meeting.
You could also email the team manager (social workers manager) about this.
Have a look at child protection procedures and film

Best wishes,
Suzie

[looking-for-help]

Hi Suzie,

It never went to court as far as I'm aware but I was made to feel when I walked into the school office that I didn't have a choice. I remember saying that there was no way my children would be going anywhere but home with me and I was made to feel this was not an option so I remember saying if they had to go anywhere they were to go to my mums. I am assuming this was there assumption that I gave permission for the children to go. I now know I had to give permission and if I ever found myself in this position again I would be very careful what I said.

We had the core group meeting last week where I raised these concerns and was just told that ss had had a lot of emergencies which took priority. I managed to get hold of the lady doing the parenting course yesterday and her explanation was she had been off sick with a cold!! For 2 weeks!!! I am so annoyed at having to chase these people and honestly feel the only reason I am in this situation still is because of the lies the head told about me. I have sinced moved my children schools and the new school has been a lot more supportive.

I am hoping that come the review conference it will all be finished with but is that too hopeful?

Thanks for your help