can children return to me after special guardianship been i?

[zelda]

Hi I'm just looking for advice. My children were removed from my care just under 4 years ago. Ss got involved after I ended an emotionally abusive relationship that the kids had suffered in too. I had severe depression and they tricked me into handing them to my mum 'voluntarily' even though they threatened to take me to court if I attempted to remove them. This placement was meant to be temporary, or so I was led to believe. We had a few case conferences which were extremely intimidating, and the last one I went to I was expecting to get a date to have my kids back. A woman I've never seen before walked in and basically told me I failed to protect them, and my mental health is poor, that they will be placed somewhere more permanent. My mum took them, got a RO, then eventually an SGO. I also feel I was tricked into this as I was told if I disagree they will be put up for adoption, and probably split up because of the age gap. So I agreed. They led me to believe I would have pr, but when I looked it up recently my say means not a great deal. I see them everyday and take them to school but I feel empty without them with me all the time. I rang ss last week they told me they won't help me get them back, the case is closed and it's permanent. They said I will have to pay and the sgo has not even been in effect a year (May) . I am in a better place now, with a new partner with a respectable job, and my mental health has improved greatly. Is there a chance I can get them back? What do I have to do? What is the realistic outcome? Please help.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello Nomie

My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at FRG. I am sorry to read about your difficult experiences and the distressing situation that you are currently in.

From Children's Services point of view, now that your mum has an SGO for your children, they are safeguarded and not "in need". There is, therefore, no further role for Children's Services and the case is closed.

The situation is now a private law matter and is, effectively, between you and your mum. As you have said, you do still have parental responsibility for your children, shared with your mum. Because of the SGO, however, your mum has the right to exercise her PR "to the exclusion of all others" and can, therefore, overule you if there is a disagreement.

The intention of an SGO is that it is a permanant order, lasting until the children are 18. It is possible to apply to the court to revoke the order but this will only be considered if there has been a "significant change in circumstances" since the order was originally made.

Although you are in a much better place in your life now, it is unlikley that the court would agree that this change has been maintained for long enough for the order to be revoked.

You have mentioned that you see your children every day so it sounds as though you and your mum get on well and are able to work together to make decisions that are best for the children.

On this basis, there is nothing to stop you and your mum making further plans to involve you in the children's care if you both agree this is best. This might involve arranging overnight contacts and even working towards extended stays at your home. Of course, if your mum does not agree with your wishes for the children's care, she does have the final say.

You and your mum should also be mindful of the position of Children's Services. Although Children's Services are not currently involved, they will re-open the case if they feel the children are being placed at risk of harm. If they have given clear advice that, for example, the children should not visit you at your home, it would be unwise to go against this advice without first seeking their views.

Initially, I would advise that you continue to work closely with your mum so that, as much as possible, you are parenting the children together. Ask your mum to involve you in school and health appointments and decision making for the children. When you feel it is appropriate, you might want to talk to your mum about increasing the contact you have with the children and extending this to include overnight stays etc.

If, after a significant period of time, it reaches the point that you and your mum are in agreement that it is right for the children to return to your care, you are then in a much better position to argue this and demonstrate your committment to the children and your ability to safeguard and protect them.

I hope this helps nomie. It may be helpful for you to read our advice sheet for parents about SGOs.

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser

[zelda]

Thankyou for your reply. How long is a significant amount of time? I miss being their proper mummy so much. I did suspect that it hadn't been long enough though. I don't think ss made the right decision making it a permanent arrangement.

[Debbiedoodah]

Hi N, I really feel for you and think how fortunate you are to see your children daily, as my son has been placed on a SGO with my half sister, and she holds a lot of anger and resentment for me, and the contact order was a minimum of once a month supervised, and my sister maintains the minimum contact and wont let me see my boy aged 7 more than an hour and a half monthly. I was feeling a lot of grief and heartache so I finally did the right thing and sought help via this site and got my life together, which I now need to keep up and stay focused.... good luck and don't try to run before you can walk!