Self harming in foster care

[charmed1]

Hi everyone. I have just received my son's medical report from February. It has been reported that he has self harmed. He's only 4. Our daughter is having panic attacks and we witnessed one the other day at contact. Her attack came on because she thought she wasn't going to see her dad and I. The supervisor missed the turning to the meeting place which was sign posted and the children knew where they were meant to turn.

I am so upset. No matter how we failed them in the past it doesn't mean the "corporate parent" can fail them as well. These children are clearly not "thriving". Quite the opposite obviously. These kids are with "temporary" foster carers and have been over 11 months now. We face having to see them move to either an adoptive home or long term carers somewhere depending if search times out in June. No doubt the social worker will blame it on "regression" again and not that two young children (one with learning disability and communication difficulty) are scared and confused and want to see their Mummy and Daddy. The contact is now once a month reduced from twice a week.

Somehow these people will do a better job than we would now after all out therapy. Somehow I doubt that. Birth parents who work hard and change compared with people who get paid to look after foster kids or adopters who have a rosy picture of the children they are adopting. You tell me?

[ange301126]

Dear charmed, Same thing with us.Neither child had ever been described as emotionally disturbed in our care and neither had had absences or self-harmed in any way.Since being in care both are permanently on drugs for epilepsy,one started to self-harm and the other caught an 'infection' and had to have brain surgery.He also spent time in hospital for another infection.CS insist they are both thriving and do not read or present the true facts.
The problem we had was that although we showed a lot of medical evidence to our solicitors they did not argue the case strongly.They preferred to cooperate with the CS.I hope you have a good one.Our daughter was the one who self-harmed and she started the week after contact was cut fro weekly to three monthly.
I should also warn you that your children may play up after contact when they return to the foster-carers.They implied it was we who had upset them but we know it was because they wanted to go home with us.Who do you think the court believed?
Our daughter also started having tantrums lasting for several hours and our son started playing up at nursery also later he was said to be stealing small items from school all of which are classic cries for help. We couldn't do anything being powerless thanks to the system.

[charmed1]

Thank you ange. I do remember you saying that in one of your posts. My solicitor is waiting in the wings for return to court in July which we still hope will happen. Even though the case closed in December she was kind enough to reply to my email and file evidence as I send it to her. Not all bad. My husband's solicitor however is a chocolate kettle so a bit one sided. My heart is breaking for my kids right now.

[ange301126]

Dear Charmed, I'm sorry if all my advice seems negative but that is how we have found it.
You will probably be advised to bring the issues up at the next LAC review.When I did so and when I referred to the various medical reports,the key social worker said that was not the time to discuss it and the chairperson simply told me not to worry and that the children were doing well.Clearly she preferred to ignore the medical reports and support the social worker or she could not understand clear written English. When is the next review?

[charmed1]

Dear ange. Next LAC review is 5th June.

[ange301126]

Dear Charmed. In one of my previous posts,I mentioned how LAC review procedures are not followed by our social workers.I believe they are meant to contact you prior to the review and discuss what is to be raised at the meeting,who is to be invited including who you want to attend .

So if you want to make the point about the self-harming and other signs of emotional disturbance (panic attacks and bedwetting) and demonstrate that it may be due to separation of natural family you really need the opinion of a doctor.

As you have been excluded from peps procedures , can I assume that you have been prevented from seeing the GP as we have been? If so you will need either his attendance or written opinion to be presented at the review and later at court.

I suggest you ask Suzie to tell you exactly what the correct LAC review procedures are particularly as to pre-review practice. If they aren't followed. ( that would amount to neglect of the children's interests) then ask Suzie how to respond.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Charmed1

I am sorry to hear that your young children have been showing signs of emotional disturbance whilst placed in foster care. Has consideration been given to making a social work referral for a developmental assessment and/or offering play therapy to explore the 'self harming' issues?

As you are already attempting to use the Looked After Review process to raise your concerns, were you able to put these in writing in advance using the parental consultation form for instance.

Otherwise you could request a meeting with the Independent Reviewing Officer before the June meeting so you can focus specifically on the issues that you have raised here.

Failing this, you could ask for a separate meeting with the SW and Team Manager. Inform them you would like to bring a support person with you and ask for the meeting to be minuted. Enquire when you can expect to receive a copy of these.

Finally if you still feel you have been unfairly treated in the LAC process you should consider putting in a formal : complaint.

In the first instance can I recommend you speak to your solicitor about how to plan a way forward.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie

[charmed1]

Thank you Suzie. We only found out that our son had deliberately hurt himself in a LAC medical report received on Wednesday. The medical had taken place on the 18th February. We had a PEP meeting on the 27th February and nothing was mentioned to us at all.

The adoption team has requested a sensory assessment of both our children but not because of the self harming. Again this was mentioned in the PEP meeting in February. The GP apparently needs to do the referral and as of the 30th April has not done so and there is a very long waiting list I have been told by the social worker.

No support has been put in place for our kids. Our son is getting support (supposedly) at school as he is over familiar with school staff and others he doesn't know. His behaviour has deteriorated as well they say. Our daughter has no support other what she receives at school in the sen unit day- to- day. She suffers severe anxiety as she has complex needs which are not being properly supported.

I have written to the IRO about being excluded from our daughter's SEN statement review on the 13th April and have received no response. He is suppose to call us prior to the meeting on the 5th June and send forms which I have always completed with our views. I haven't written to him about the self harming.

Two wrongs don't make a right. They are the corporate parent and our kids are suffering and not thriving as is reported. I have been in touch with my solicitor prior to knowing about the self harming and she has advised me to keep a record as my case has concluded for now and she is unable to advise me. She hopes we will return to court in July to continue fighting.

[ange301126]

Dear Charmed, If the adoption search times out in June , will the case go back to court automatically or does an application have to be made?

It will soon be June so I've started to wonder what is going to happen.
It wasn't automatic in our case and the L.A didn't apply.Why does your solicitor say you have to wait until July?