please help me
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Askmelater
please help me
Hi I have 5 children who are with me and there dad has been removed from our home. The social services have promised repeatedly that they will se t up supervised contact again and have failed to do so this has now pushed my 13 year old son over the edge and he has tryed to end his own life with a pair of scissor and has cut his wrist when I took him to the doctors all he kept saying is that social services keep lieing to him and he wants to see his dad and that he can not keep going like this anymore I have put in complaint after complaint about social services and them promising my kids to do something then not doing it I am so scared he will try it again if they bake 1 more promise to him. Social services are the ones mentally abusing my children and I don't know how to stop them. Please can Simone help or give me a number of someone who can take on children's services this is killing me but most of all it is killing my kids I am sorry if I have done spelling mistakes or it dose not make much sence but I am crying my heart out while typing this please can someone help me please I don't know what to do
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ange301126
- Posts: 537
- Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:27 pm
Re: please help me
Dear Askmelater,
The FRG advisor will message you shortly,I feel sure,and give you information which will tell you how to take them on.What you need is an advocate who will intervene effectively on your behalf.
Please try and answer these questions to help Suzie, the professional advisor?
1. Who removed Dad from home,what did he do to deserve it?
2. Have the Police charged him with a criminal offence or is it just allegations?
3. Has the CS advised you of the advocacy services and your rights to use one?
4.Have the CS given you clear timescales for their intended involvement before Dad can come home?
5,Did a social worker hold a gun to your head , as it were, and inform you that if Dad would not move out despite the absence of any court order, your children will be removed on the grounds that you are unable to protect them?
Sorry about all these questions;please do not be upset or distressed by them at such a difficult time;they are to help you against the CS.
As regards your son, my immediate advice on a personal level( I am an ordinary parent like you) is to keep him off school and supervise him closely and get the GP to get him counselling immediately.
The FRG advisor will message you shortly,I feel sure,and give you information which will tell you how to take them on.What you need is an advocate who will intervene effectively on your behalf.
Please try and answer these questions to help Suzie, the professional advisor?
1. Who removed Dad from home,what did he do to deserve it?
2. Have the Police charged him with a criminal offence or is it just allegations?
3. Has the CS advised you of the advocacy services and your rights to use one?
4.Have the CS given you clear timescales for their intended involvement before Dad can come home?
5,Did a social worker hold a gun to your head , as it were, and inform you that if Dad would not move out despite the absence of any court order, your children will be removed on the grounds that you are unable to protect them?
Sorry about all these questions;please do not be upset or distressed by them at such a difficult time;they are to help you against the CS.
As regards your son, my immediate advice on a personal level( I am an ordinary parent like you) is to keep him off school and supervise him closely and get the GP to get him counselling immediately.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: please help me
Dear askmelater,
I am so sorry to hear about the difficulties that your family have had. It must be extremely worrying for you that your son has self harmed.
I can see that you must be very worried that he might do it again. You were right to seek medical advice from your GP. Has he been referred for the help he needs? Children services can also make a referral to the child and adolescent mental heath services (CAMHs). Have they done this? Many schools also have access to counselling services-do the school know about your sons distress?
You could also speak to a parent’s adviser confidentially about your sons self harming at
Young Minds.
Contact with dad
In respect of your sons contact with dad, I understand that this was supposed to have already been set up. Do you know why it hasn’t? Is dad cooperating with children services? Is he in contact with them? They would need to do a risk assessment of him before any contact takes place. He would also need to be offered support to help him deal with his abusive behaviour to you and your children.
Why don't you email the social worker and copy in the team manager and service manager or director of children services and ask when contact will be set up by them?
Point out;
• That they have already made a decision to set up supervised contact and that has not happened.
• What else do they need to do before it takes place.
• Tell them about your son’s distress and you believe this is linked to not seeing his dad.
• What support can they offer your son?
• Will they meet you to discuss this issue? Give them some dates that can meet them.
If they do not get back to you, then have a look at our advice sheet about
Complaints. You will see that you could contact your MP or local councillor as well as children services complaints.
I hope this advice helps,
Suzie
I am so sorry to hear about the difficulties that your family have had. It must be extremely worrying for you that your son has self harmed.
I can see that you must be very worried that he might do it again. You were right to seek medical advice from your GP. Has he been referred for the help he needs? Children services can also make a referral to the child and adolescent mental heath services (CAMHs). Have they done this? Many schools also have access to counselling services-do the school know about your sons distress?
You could also speak to a parent’s adviser confidentially about your sons self harming at
Young Minds.
Contact with dad
In respect of your sons contact with dad, I understand that this was supposed to have already been set up. Do you know why it hasn’t? Is dad cooperating with children services? Is he in contact with them? They would need to do a risk assessment of him before any contact takes place. He would also need to be offered support to help him deal with his abusive behaviour to you and your children.
Why don't you email the social worker and copy in the team manager and service manager or director of children services and ask when contact will be set up by them?
Point out;
• That they have already made a decision to set up supervised contact and that has not happened.
• What else do they need to do before it takes place.
• Tell them about your son’s distress and you believe this is linked to not seeing his dad.
• What support can they offer your son?
• Will they meet you to discuss this issue? Give them some dates that can meet them.
If they do not get back to you, then have a look at our advice sheet about
Complaints. You will see that you could contact your MP or local councillor as well as children services complaints.
I hope this advice helps,
Suzie
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