can i still have my other babys back

[gemsmom of8]

hi there my ex sister inlaw is at second stage for a special guardianship order for my 3 younger baby's but I have 5 other children as well would that give me a better chance in getting them back out of foster care I love all my baby's but my solicitor said it would be better to let my 3 younger go to my sister in laws and I would have a better chance in getting my others back could this be right as the courts will see that I would cope with 5 children even thou I can cope with my 8 baby's

[ange301126]

Dear gemsmumof8,

Suzie, the FRG advisor has suggested certain courses of action to you and you should follow the advice if you are to have any chance at all, in my view.

One of the pieces of advice was to contact both your criminal law solicitor and your family law one and ask them to work together.Have you done it?

How your solicitors react and how they intervene on your behalf is absolutely crucial to you and your children. They may fight for you strongly or they may give the CS too much leeway and end up collaborating with them too much against the interests of the children.What have they said so far? Are they listening to you and communicating with you? Are they replying to your messages and 'phone calls or are they always ' too busy' or 'in a meeting'?

It is crucial that they protest about the following:-

1.The CS took the decision to 'go for foster-care and adoption' before carrying out full investigations, assessments and long before any judgments in the criminal cases.You could both be found innocent.What then?

2.You appear to have been charged with child-neglect on the strength of malicious evidence from the CS and had your contacts stopped to the children's detriment as a result..There was no question of your being arrested and charged until you declined to cut off all contact with your now ex-partner.

3.You claim the interim care order was issued without you having taken a full part in the core assessment in compliance with the Children's Act and that other guidelines have been ignored around other assessments. This often happens; the CS takes premature decisions on unrealistic and misinformed appraisals.Your solicitor should check the core assessment and if it is stated within it that you were fully involved that might constitute perjury.

4.You claim you have not met the Guardian yet she has made assessments.You should ask Suzie and your solicitor whether that complies with the framework of the Law.

5. You have now, if too late, left your ex. Surely you should now have had contact restored.Has the s.w. Listened to you or does she just turn her back?

These points are pretty well crucial , gemsmom, and your solicitors should make them strongly, particularly those about failing to follow procedure.All you can do is make sure you tell them all these things.

How is your unborn? Have they done the pre-birth assessment? If so did they consider the fact that you have now split with your ex.?

[gemsmom of8]

yes they are working together criminal and family law are the same person I have been informed 2day that my bail going to be extended 4 a further 4-5 weeks its breaking my heart they say its because they need more time and that's more time away from my babys they going to think I don't love them and going to mess them up even more I cant bare this my little girl was born on 3rd may and they took her from me on7th I get to see her 3 time a week 4 1 1/2 hours im trying to carry on breast feeding but its so hard the ss have stated ive failed my parent assessment which I don't understand with in 4 week they cant do 1 its my 9yrs old that has said most of it stating I use to drink while pregnant which I never did and that I never fed them which I always did and he stated that he use to get the babys ready which is untrue he is a little story teller I love him thou but he likes the attention because he getting what he wants and the ss are say aswell as school saying my children were unkempt which they wasn't I wash their clothes every day and they had showers every other day and I would send them in bathroom to have a wash every morning brush their teeth and I would sort the littles ones out ive spoke with the guardian once the ss say I have no ability to change which I have I will everything I have to do in order to have my children back with me I even write a letter to the judge stating this and how much I love my babys and do whatever is ask of me ive told the judge I had no pre birth assessment done ive ask the judge to be assess by an independent social worker as I feel like the ss have not done what they are suppose to do I have just been allocated a outreach worker and just been in contact with a project manager and she going to do a supporting plan for me to give to the judge in hoping with all this I can have my babys return in time if she accepts this ive not been with my ex partner and they still don't belive me when I had my princess I even got the midwife to put a picture up of him if he found out I had her just in case but only my mom knew I had her so I was keeping her safe he only found by the solicitor they day b4 the court 4 my little girl ive ask to go into an assessment unit but no will take me with my bail conditions my hearts in bits not having any of my babys I feel like it getting worst

[ange301126]

Dear gemsmomof8,

No , it is not getting worse, it can only get better. Well done for writing to the Judge.I am confident that if your solicitor does his job properly and fights your case in court rather than 'roll over' as many do you can look forward to a happy future and have a good chance of getting the children home eventually even though it will take some time.

Keep posting on the forum.Lots of people are rooting for you because we have been victims to the CS ourselves and Suzie will also give you the best advice available to help you in your fight.

YOU NEED AS MUCH HELP AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY GET, sometimes it may seem impossible but you have to be strong and never despair.I know you are strong because a weakling would have already cracked up under the stresses you have faced.Hang on in there!

Be sure to contact all the organisations Suzie has mentioned and will refer you to.The more the better and make sure that your solicitor insists on their attendance at court if they favour you.

Be super careful about anything you say to the social worker.Take a friend or support worker to bear witness at any meetings or home visits and keep a careful note of what is said.SW's have a nasty habit of misquoting parents and will give false evidence to court. I have no doubt other parents will come onto your thread and help you too.

Gemsmom,if you claim that you haven't had a parenting assessment and they claim you have,it must either be a downright lie on their part or they have concocted an unfavourable assessment without your knowledge. They are capable of both.

If the court ordered one,they usually order an independent parenting assessment.Both you and the assessors would normally meet and sign a mutual agreement and the assessment would take several weekly meetings at which two assessors would be involved.

If they are claiming they have done the parenting assessment and you have failed it.Where is the signed mutual agreement?

Which leads me to another warning.Don't sign anything without showing it your solicitor first.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear gemsmumof 8

From the information you describe in your post, it is clear you have a lot of things to consider with regards your children at the present time. Sorry to hear that you appear to have had a negative parenting assessment. As stated by Ange, it would be helpful to spear to your solicitor about the best way forward.

Can I just check if you have just one solicitor who is dealing with both your criminal and family law matters? In my view, this is a highly unusual and not something that I am familiar, so would welcome your response on this.

As part of the care proceedings, has anyone spoken to you about whether your 9 year old requires a child and adolescent psychiatric assessment and what is the Children Guardian's view about how best to address his current support needs?

With regards to your ex sister in law’s SGO application, if you agree for the children to be placed with her, it means they would be living with a ‘connected person’ or someone who is already known to them rather than if they were adopted by a stranger. Therefore, you can work together in the best interests of the children, and hopefully improve your chance of them being returned to you at some point in the future.

In the event this family member is approved as a special guardian, it will be important to ensure that you develop a constructive working relationship with them. When you do have contact try to focus on being positive and doing fun and child focussed activities with them.

You can discuss how you may be able to do this in advance, with your ex- sister in law and the social worker and ask to have a contact plan drawn up, so you know what is expected of you.

Therefore, by taking these steps you can be satisfied that contact is the best quality it can be and you are more likely to demonstrate your ability to prioritise the children's physical and emotional needs.

If you wish to speak to an adviser about your complex circumstances, please feel free to contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.00 to 03.00 pm.

Best Wishes


Suzie

[ange301126]

Dear gemsmomof8,

When is your next day in the Family Court?

As regards the criminal charge, I don't imagine there any realistic chances of convicting you of neglect or cruelty.However, the reason they say they need more time is because they don't want you to be cleared until after the care proceedings are over.That is how they work the system in their favour but not in the children's.

The fact you have been charged tips the balance against you,if charges are dropped due to lack of evidence , it will tip against them!

The family court is the important one.When is it?

[gemsmom of8]

its a contestant hearing so I cant opposes or not agree so it would be mutual so the suppose evidence they got cant be use in final hearing which isn't until august sometime im doing counselling next week to ive offered to do a drug and alcohol test which ive made an appointment at docs im going to be starting a new parent course and another dv course ive just got in touch with my old support worker and she going to put down I did engage 100 per cent b4 I got with ex and she was working with me for over a year and she came to my house every week so she seen how I coped with my 7 babys at the time and even she said I was coping on my own so all good there im doing a cooking course and my outreach worker going to help me sort a 4 bedroom house in order to have my children back which is great I just hope the judge can see that im am willing to do what ever it takes to have my baby's back with me and will keep them safe I will never trust a man again round my beautiful babys ever I would get a police check 1st and get to know proper not that I want a relationship 4 a long time I just want my babys yes my kids will see a psychiatric so hopefully he will see he is telling fibs I do love him lots but he a pain in the butt but he still my boy and I want him to get all the help he needs

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear gemsmomof8

I refer back to the points made in my last post.

However, try to make sure you work closely with your solicitor to help you prepare in the best way possible.

Do you have a date for the contested hearing yet? Perhaps you could ask your solicitor's advice if your old support worker could be called to give evidence on your behalf?

All the best.

Suzie

[gemsmom of8]

omg I've just found out the only reason im still on bail because of the social worker I can not believe this she really has got it in 4 me and my parent assessment they say iv failed I've been told by my out reach worker I can get all the help I need to get my children bk if I hadn't got this person in my life I would of losted my children 4 good my out reach worker giving me so much support its un believable she helping me get a home for my children she putting me on another parent course and another dv course im seeing a private counsellor to ive made an appointment at doctors 4 a drug and alcohol test which I will past ive just been told my 10yr bot been put in2 a unit 4 children with behaviour problems which I think it due to him not seeing me and his little brother who is 9yrs is telling fibs about me little sod he is but I still love him to bits my bail ends on 13 june and then they got to start my contact again with my other children and then they will c that my baby's want to come with me the judge knows how much I love my children and will c that the social worker has lied and told my kids that I was still with my ex when I wasn't the ss have let my 9yr tell my younger ones the reason why I cant see them how can they let my 9yr explain to them that's so wrong when I get my children bk im gonna sue the life out of them and the police this is so wrong im so mad but im a fighter and I knew that the lies will come out im so glad I was able to find this outreach worker and ive got a social worker that working with me and even she said this is wrong how they treated me and my children I cant wait to beat there arses and get my beautiful bk in a few months I will have there home ready 4 them I going to be there mommy again

[ange301126]

Dear gemsmomof8,
Glad to hear your situation is improving.Keep up the good work.
Help Suzie by telling us how your solicitor is one person doing both cases?
Was it him who told you to write to the judge or was it your own idea?
It's great to know we can do that if we want to. Did you have to give the letter to your solicitor?