need some advice please

[jules308]

Hello i am new to the group and need some advice .My daughter is 21 and my grandson is 17 months old both live at home with my self and my husband.
My daughter has been diagnosed with post natal depression since my grandson was about 4 months old,she disclosed to me she had been sexually abused by a family member before she gave birth.She separated from the father as he wanted her to abort the baby.
She has been under a lot of stress ,i asked health visitor for help who suggested getting a social worker involved.
My grandson is on a care plan for emotional abuse he has been on it for about 1 year.
We attended PLO meeting 2 weeks ago and my daughter was given a list of things she needed to do in order to stop children's services going to court, these include anger management, counseling for the sexual abuse( appt has been made, ) mental health team involvement (appt made)anger management appt on 2nd June. Stop swearing she does this when she gets very stressed out.Should she not be given a chance to prove herself .Solicitor said about 6 words if that .We were then told to wait in the car park while the solicitor,social worker and the county solicitor and social workers manager all sat in the room chatting for about 10 minutes.Which we did.
We have received letters saying children's services want myself and husband to become special guardians and they need to asses us .We dont know what this involves.My daughter cannot get on with social worker and has asked for a new one to be told no it is going to court and J knows the case
Both my husband and myself have virtually looked after him since he was born,he has a close bond with me,they said if we are not suitable he could end up being adopted
The solicitor my daughter had was one of a few named by children's services , we have just found out the social worker has recently married the partner in the same firm of solicitors .
We dont know which way to turn or who to go for to seek help.
Can any one offer advice please .Thank you

[charmed1]

We attended PLO meeting 2 weeks ago and my daughter was given a list of things she needed to do in order to stop children's services going to court, these include anger management, counseling for the sexual abuse( appt has been made, ) mental health team involvement (appt made)anger management appt on 2nd June. Stop swearing she does this when she gets very stressed out.Should she not be given a chance to prove herself .Solicitor said about 6 words if that .

Dear jules, this happened to us. We attended PLO meeting and the list of "concerns" multiplied and changed. We never knew exactly what it was they wanted from us. As for my solicitor at the time they sent a trainee solicitor. Wholly useless. He would've had me sign anything they wanted. My husband's one wasn't much better.

My daughter cannot get on with social worker and has asked for a new one to be told no it is going to court and J knows the case
Both my husband and myself have virtually looked after him since he was born,he has a close bond with me,they said if we are not suitable he could end up being adopted

So from what you say here they have made up their mind already. Why then have they like us given you a list as long as your arm to fulfil while all along they intend to take it to court? It's a none starter really. This is how they work. They set you up to fail as anger management and mental health services take a lifetime to access on the NHS and cost a fortune privately. My husband and I have been forced to go private. It's killing us. We have to do it or else face losing our kids forever. Our 4 and 6 year olds are under placement for adoption orders at the moment.

The solicitor my daughter had was one of a few named by children's services , we have just found out the social worker has recently married the partner in the same firm of solicitors .

Change solicitor right away. This is a clear conflict of interest and no doubt one they will not divulge to the court. Find a reputable family law solicitor preferably out of the area if you can.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello Jules308

My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group.

Thank you for your post. I wonder though if it might be more useful for you to post on our Family and Friends Carers Discussion Boards rather than here on the Parents Board. You will be able to get some peer support from other grandparents in similar situations, particularly as Children's Services are now asking you to be formally assessed to care for your grandson under a court order.

In the meantime, you may wish to look at our advice sheets about Care Proceedings, Special Guardianship Orders and Family Group Conferences.

I can see that you have been a tremendous support to your daughter throughout this process so far. Do give our free and confidential advice line a call if you would like to speak to an adviser on her behalf. Or encourage your daughter to call us directly if you feel that would assist her.

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser

[jules308]

Thank you charmed 1 and suzie for your replies I am very grateful as i know nothing about the law.Charmed 1 i am sorry to hear of your situation my heart goes out to you.Sending you BIG hugs xx