Need some reassurance

[durifgrape]

Hi,
I guess like everybody who joins and posts here, my wife and I going going though an emotional time at the moment, I'll try and explain.
On Wednesday 18th, while our 5yr son was in after school club (it's for years R-5) is supposed to have said to another child he was playing with the following:
"s*ck my w**ly. Here let me show you"
This was heard by an staff member of the after school club and report to the local child services, but not to us when he was collected.
On Thursday 19th my wife received a call from child services, telling her about the report and that it was going being investigated. Clearly my wife was distort and so was unable to really ask any questions but did ask child services to phone me. My wife then phoned me and told me what had happened, clearly I was shocked. About an hour later child service phoned me and told me the same thing, but when I suggested that it was maybe something he had heard I was told that our child had started to demonstrate the act, before he was stopped by a staff member (my wife does not recall this being mentioned in her phone call). Child services then told me that we would be contacted either Friday afternoon or first thing Monday.
Obviously Thursday was not good for my wife or myself but clearly we tried to hide what we were felling from our son, which was easy. After he had gone to bed we chatted and both believe that he was misheard, since he refers that that part of body as his tail. Also he he hurts himself whilst playing, I give him big hug and call him a silly sausage in a draft voice, so that that it sounds like (swilly swausage), and he sometime mimic this. Also if he is playing and the other person if not playing how he thinks it should be done he will say here let me show you.
So on Friday I phoned child services to inform our contact of this, however she was not available and she would phone me back, which she didn't.
The weekend was not fun.
The morning of Monday 23rd went without a call, so my wife phoned our child services contact, but again she was not available and she would phone me back, which she didn't. We contacted the After school club to ask exactly what had happened and why we weren't informed, but was informed that it this type of case they would discuss it. Puzzled my wife and I check the clubs policies and found that they normally informed the parent, unless they suspected sexually abuse. Neither of us slept that night wondering if suddenly the front door would be broken down and our son taken into care.
The morning of Tuesday 24th went without a call, so again my wife phoned our child services contact, but again she was not available and she would phone me back, which she didn't.
Finally today Wednesday 25th, I got though to our our child services contact, to be told that case had been handed to another section, and that's all information she could say. but the other section would contact us.

Obviously our only son is deeply loved and not mistreated in an way, and both my wife and I are sure he hasn't heard it home as it not an express we use, nor does he have unsupervised access to the Internet.

We understand that the club was acting in our sons best interest with what they believe they heard but it just distressing and we need some reassurance that the lack of contact from child services is normal, will we be able to see the original report and ask questions.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear durifgrape

Welcome to the parent's board.

Firstly, I apologise for the length of time it has taken to respond to your post. Because we are a relatively small staff team and because of recent technical difficulties it has not been possible to do this before now.

Clearly you have raised some important issues in your thread. I will attempt to address some of the points here:-

1. Under section 47 Children Act and multi agency : child protection procedures the nursery have a duty to investigate where they think a child may have been harmed or at risk of signficant harm. Where possible they should discuss the referral with the parents in advance, unless they believe to do so would place a child at further risk.

2. Since the referral was made however, the Local Authority should work in partnership with you to keep you informed and updated about their plans and what if any actions they intend to take. It seems the social worker tasked to work with you and your family has not done this and has struggled to return your calls and keep yo informed.

3. In the absence of the investigating or allocated worker being available you should have the option of being put through to the duty social worker or team manager instead of being left hanging as seems to have been the case in your own situation. If this is not being done I would strongly advise that you put your updates or concerns in writing to the social worker copying her line manager into the correspondence.

4. As tempting as it may be I would try to refrain from trying to do their work for them and try to keep impromptu explanations about your child's behaviour to a minimum. One of the reasons being that things can be further complicated where there is more than one child involved, and under data protection procedures, you may not have access to all of the information.

5. I am aware that you have experienced some delay but also that the investigation by Children's Services may have progressed since you last posted.

6. It may help you to consider seeking legal advice via www.lawsociety.org.uk.

I hope this helps.

If you wish to return with any key updates or queries that you have it would be helpful to come back. Alternatively, if you wish to speak to an adviser about your situation please feel free to contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 to 03.00 pm.

Best Wishes


Suzie