PLO meeting tomorrow

[Cmw1989]

Hi

I was wondering if someone could give me any advice that has been in a similar situation.

I have two children and I am currently 36 weeks pregnant with my third. All three children have different fathers. My eldest lives with his dad and my youngest was adopted. There is so much to what has gone on in the past I can't explain everything in one go but in a nutshell both my relationships with my ex partners had domestic violence involved.

Whilst I was pregnant with my youngest in 2011 my eldest son come to stay over for contact with me. My partner at the time (seconds child's father) was present. When me and my son got up in the morning he had been assaulted during the night whilst I was in bed. There were two other people in the property at the time...baby number 2 father and his friend. After going to hospital it was proved that the injuries my son had received were none accidental. Social services became involved and did a pre birth assessment on me but due to me been unable to keep my youngest safe from his father (as they believed he caused the injuries) he was subject to an emergency care order at birth. The police were never able to prosecute his father for the injuries to my eldest as they did not have enough evidence to take the case to court. I received a caution for neglect.

Since 2011 I have moved away and started a new life. I have so much family support around me and an amazing partner who I am expecting my third baby to in four weeks time. He has never been involved with social care, has not got a criminal record and has children from previous relationships that he has regular contact with. The social care have nothing bad to say about him. I was very scared when I found out I was pregnant. I also had nothing to hide about my past so I contacted the social care in the area and told them everything. The social worker has now arranged this PLO meeting for tomorrow as they think I am a risk to my unborn baby. I am very upset about this as I would never hurt any of my children. I admit I was in a bed situation and I acknowledge what has happened due to my past decisions. I will always have to live with the fact I lost my baby at birth due to the situation I put myself in. I am been made out to be a monster, which I am far from. I now have contact with my eldest son that is unsupervised and there is no court order or social care involvement with him. I'm pretty sure if I was such a bad mother and had ever hurt him he wouldn't want to be around me, especially alone.

Me and my partner have separate solicitors who will be present at this meeting tomorrow. The social worker has expressed that she would be happy for baby to come home after birth if father will constantly be around as he is classed as a protective factor. I am aware they also want to do a new parenting assessment and psychologist report on me. I have told them from the start I will be fully cooperative with them and do whatever they want to prove I would not get into any situation like that again. I just do not trust social care what's so ever after my experience with them in the past. I just want to prove to them I am not what they are making out to be.

Any advice would be an amazing help

Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Cmw1989

Welcome to the parent's discussion board. My name is Suzie, one of FRG's online advisers.

I am sorry to hear that you are finding the current Children's Services involvement quite distressing, and you are worried about the forthcoming pre-proceedings meeting that is due to take place.

It seems that you have made some significant changes in your life. As well as being in a new relationship, stable and supportive relationship, it appears that you are finally enjoying unsupervised contact with your oldest child.

You have clearly demonstrate to the Local Authority that you are willing to work with them in order to keep your baby safe following the birth. These factors and the fact that they have assessed your partner as a protective factor are all steps in the right direction, in any assessment of your parenting capacity.

Whilst your partner is unlikely to be present in the meeting, you may wish to discuss with him in advance to what extent he would be willing to act as main carer to the baby, in the initial stages. Additionally, you may wish to establish from him, what level of support he can offer, and for how long he is able to do this as part of any care plans made. Ensure you inform the Local Authority of this when you meet with them tomorrow.

Your solicitor will be best placed to advise you further at this time, about what they feel would be the essential aspects of the pre-proceedings agreement.

However, if you would also find it helpful to speak to an adviser can I suggest you contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.00 pm.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie