Social Workers talking to child(ren) alone

[heartbrokenfather]

Hi All.

I have a question regarding when social workers talk to child(ren) alone.

I have been re-reading the the FRG advice sheets, and the FAQ:

Q. Is the social worker allowed to interview my child without me being there?

A. Yes. The social worker will want to speak to your child alone, but they should ask you before they do so (unless there are exceptional circumstances, for example they are concerned that you might threaten your child or try to make your child stay silent, or your child doesn't want you involved).

Many parents, understandably find this difficult, but it is important that you agree to this, otherwise they may think you are trying to control what your child says.. If the social worker can't speak to your child without you there they maybe come more concerned about your child's welfare and consider taking further steps including potentially applying to court for a legal order to force you to co-operate. This could include removing your child from your care.

If you have ideas about where you think your child would feel most comfortable talking with a social worker do let them know. You may also want to suggest that a friend or family member is at the meeting, to give reassurance to your child.

It has come to my attention by friends of the family that children's services have been going to the children's school's unannounced, and speaking to each of the children alone. So it's just the social worker(s) and a child in a room at the time.

I have been informed that the same sort of thing is going on when children's services visit the family home, and that the social worker(s) take each of the children into another room to speak with them. during this time no one else is being permitted to be in the same room. Not even a friend of the family etc.
I can see why children's services may not wish for a child's parent to be in the room, but to refuse a friend of the family, or a child's advocate seems wrong to me.

Can I please have your advice on this matter.

Thanks for your time.

Best Regards.

[charmed1]

Dear heartbrokenfather

This is something I have first hand experience over. My then 3 year old son was taken into a side room at his nursery. Just him and the social worker (remember he is only 3 at the time). Given stickers and asked about life at home. I only found out as he came out of the session with a sticker like we had at home for rewards. I asked what he got the sticker for and he said 'A' (the social worker) had given it to him. I probed gently and it turned out like I said he been taken into a side room with just the social worker given stickers which he's made into a picture.

I asked where the picture was, he said that he'd left it behind as he'd told 'A' that I would be cross if I found out he'd spoken to her. Strange as he was happy enough to tell me he'd spoken to her when asked about the sticker!

Anyway he apparently said that his sister had hurt him (but that was a long time ago). We only found out what our son apparently said in a report for court many months later.

Another time our son still just 3 years old went out with the social worker to her car during a home visit. Later in another report our son apparently said I'd smacked him. If this was true how come the then social worker (different one to above incident) not say something to me.

They have also questioned my daughter who has special needs with "closed" and "leading" questions to get the answers they wanted. All it did was upset and confuse the poor kid. They are vile.

[heartbrokenfather]

charmed1: Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.

As I have already said in my main post that I have been told by more then one friend of the family that children's services have been and are still using threats towards my wife so that my wife responds with the answers and only the answers that children's services want.

If children's services are able to and find it acceptable to do this to a adult, I would hate to guess what they think they can get away with while speaking to a child.

If children's services are using "closed" or "directed" questions, and or trying to confuse a child to gain the required answer to a question. Please correct me if I am wrong here, But surely if this is indeed the case, then children's services themselves are inflicting a form of child abuse.

At this point in time I have no prove one way or another if children's services are doing this to the children.

I would like to know your view points on this.

Thanks again for your time.

[charmed1]

Hi again. Yes it's true they are abusing my kids. The children had an insecure attachment to us (we realise that now) and migrated towards the social worker as she had "befriended" them. Stickers were the main ploy to encourage the kids to "like them".

I believe the judge in our case saw the changes in myself and my husband in what was nearly a year between the beginning of care proceedings and the final hearing. Though it was borderline at that time as we still had way to go in therapy. She gave the LA until June to find suitable adopters. If by the end of July the kids hadn't been matched/placed then they should return to court with a care plan for long term fostering. They have failed to do this. Our kids remain with their original "short term" carers who they have been with for nearly 16 months with no clear plan for the future.

This is child abuse as we only see them for 1 or 2 hours if it's the holidays a month. Weaning off our relationship with them for a care plan of adoption that appears to have failed. We hope to take it back to court if we can secure legal aid (application is in).

They lied and exaggerated on the "balance of probabilities" that events occurred and used our kids as cannon fodder to bulk up their case.

Please feel free to pm me in confidence

[ange301126]

Dear Heartbrokenfather, Briefly as I can,I would add that not only do sw's misquote children and adult relatives after informal 'chats' , they also misquote schoolteachers and other professionals likewise without keeping full records and carrying out FULL AND PROPER FAIR ENQUIRIES in keeping with the Children's Act.

They said that it 'was reported ' by my daughter's teacher that she was forever yelling out swearwords at school with the implication that we were bad parents who had taught her it. When I questioned the teachers,I was told it was not and never had been a problem.

All this sort of deceptive ( not necessarily criminal behaviour) means that cp conferences, courts and other professionals make unrealistic, misinformed appraisals based on sw concoctions from the earliest stages.

Frankly, once they start to poison a case like this, someone should recognise it and put a stop to it .

May I ask charmed on your thread, who told you that your two children had an insecure attachment to you and who decided it was in any way down to you and your partner. In my case social workers stated it and then the Guardian agreed. When we got the Together Trust ( the autism experts ) in, their psychologist and educational specialist made a fair ( except they were not sent the agreed instruction letter) , impartial and comprehensive assessment.Their expert appraisal was that our son was securely attached to us and his sister.They said our daughter displayed a lack of secure attachment which was common amongst autistic children but not due to parental care in any way.
I am concerned that you have been dragged into believing what could well be a myth sown by the sw's. They aren't qualified to make such a judgment and neither is a guardian or ( in the case of your daughter) is a paediatrician not expert in autism.The experts should have been asked.