What is going on!!

[littleme]

Please help me. I have 3 children, no 1 is aged 9, no 2 & 3 are 7 and are twins. My twins had just moved to a new school in April as their old school closed. My older daughter attends a different school. No. 2 has additional needs and a SEN statement.

A few days into the new term (160914) i was told at the school that the head teacher wanted a word with me. In the meeting HT said that no. 2 had a red mark on her face and when asked about it had said that Daddy had done it. I said that although i was not on teh school run that morning with Daddy there was no way that my husband would have smacked her. I asked what time the mark had been noted and she did not know. My kids also go to a breakfast club before school but no mark was noted there. I had a discussion with no. 2 & 3 on the way home light hearted about always telling the truth to adults as if you dont people can get into trouble. Thought nothing more about it and we went on with our lives.

240914 - I am phoned at 4pm by the school after picking up no. 2 & 3 saying that no. 2 had said something else, SS had been called and it was with them. SS came round to the house and my husband came home. We met with them and it was all very lighthearted. We denied ever hitting our children and there was further allegations that on 170914 no. 2 & 3 had come into school saying 'mummy and daddy are going to jail' - i never said that to them!! 180814 a scratch was noticed on no. 2's chest but she said that daddy did it but it was an accident (he wears a running watch which had scratched her skin when he was dressing her). we spoke to them about our daughters SEN statement and that she struggles with her vocabulary and expressive language, we pay for private speech therapy etc. Even though she is 7 her mental age has been calculated at approx 4. We mentioned she does tantrum but nothing out of the ordinary.

290914 - I am phoned by SS by our case SW who is a bit of a battle axe and she is not asking me any questions but telling me that she is going into my childrens schools and interviewing my children. I have no say in the matter. We have to be interviewed by her too. I was heartbroken as i just cant understand what this is all about - it is clear that my children come from a loving family.

061014 - the SW comes round for a meeting and it is now alleged that my husband has referred to himself as a strict disciplinarian (we do have a strict routine and make the children do chores but nothing shocking) and thats a problem for them. Again we ask for any evidence that the children have been hurt or are at risk but she just keeps on saying taht she is looking out for them. We are also told that even if our case is disproved this will stay on the childrens record and should anything else happen or be said it will be brought up again. We also ask if she could refrain from interviewing no. 1 child as she might get stressed by it and we dont want her upset. she refuses and states that she has to.

We are now left hanging - we have done nothing wrong here and my family is being put through the shredder! the stress between my husband and i is dreadful and we are trying to keep our family going. What rights do we have here??? I said that when all this has blown over do we have any recourse for the massive hurt and detriment to our family life - answer, no!!! I understand that there is a protocol to protect at risk kids - but seriously!!!

Cheers

[ange301126]

Dear little me, you have reached the right place for advice and Suzie, the FRG professional adviser will come online as soon as she is able to advise you of your rights and of the procedures with which you are now involved.

You should cooperate to the best of your ability with the CS but at the same time you have to be wary. Be very careful what you say to them off the record; unfortunately the sw will be noting everything yes everything down and any casual comment may be turned against you, if what many,many parents on these forums are to be believed. Express a polite view,for example, that this sw is being heavy handed may be interpreted as you failing to understand,acknowledge and/or accept concerns.This can then be extrapolated into neither of you being able or willing to cooperate and work with social workers.If your strict husband raises his voice a little in consternation,disbelief or objection when false allegations are made, this can be interpreted as agression, uncontrollable anger and non-cooperation and he will end up attending anger management courses.

A lot depends on fair procedures being followed so I strongly advise you to get the help of an independent advocacy service a.s.a.p. Did the CS inform you of your right to do so?
As I have already said, it is advisable to cooperate but, by the same token, they don't always appear to reciprocate and make fair enquiries.An advocate will support you.

As Suzie will explain, the CS have a 'duty' to investigate but they have to do it correctly according to legal frameworks.If you live in Greater London, the FRG might be able to help you with advocacy.
Luckily you have come to the right place early in proceedings.Sometimes adoptions can be done and dusted before parents come onto the forums.
You are right to come here early.Be warned, do not sign ANYTHING ,however seemingly innocuous it maybe, without getting advice first.

Keep a note of dates, meetings,'phone calls etc.

Read these forums and you will see what can happen.Particularly read the thread about Autistic spectrum,special needs and other disabilities.
I don't want to stress you out ; your sw might do her job properly and the case might be closed.Even if that happens, the file can be opened again in the future thus you must ensure correct records are kept.
Good luck,hope this is of help.As I said,Suzie will advise you shortly.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Littleme

Welcome to the parent's discussion board. My name is Suzie, one of the Family Right's Groups (FRG)'s online advisers.

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a stressful time with Children's Services involvement with your three children.

From the details provided in your post, it appears that Children's Services are completing a child protection investigation in relation to all of your children. To your credit, you appear to have cooperated with this, in order to assist with the Local Authorities enquiries, which will rule in your favour in any assessments made. It is important that you continue to do so, so they can assess any risks or support needs you may have, and your ability to be able to prioritise your children's physical and emotional needs.

As stated here, FRG offer direct advocacy support to parent's attending child protection conferences in the London area. Unfortunately, this service is temporarily suspended due to competing demands for our services in other areas of work. Hopefully, it is hoped this will be re-instated in the near future.

Whilst it is not a foregone conclusion that a child protection conference will be convened, in your situation, you can request the support of a friend or family member at meetings at appointments if this would be helpful. Be mindful to advise the social worker in advance, and in what capacity the person is known to your family. It may be that they decide that your family is in need of particular community support services, and could direct you to the most relevant ones in your area.

In the meantime, your children may wish to have advocacy support from NAS (National Autistic Society) 0808 800 4104, Contact a Family 0808 808 3555 NYAS (National Youth Advocacy Services) 0808 808 1001. Alternatively, the Local Authority may already have an internal advocacy support service for young people.

In this way, they can be more confident to participate in appointments with professionals who may not be well known to them. In some instances, the children could be interviewed at school with a familiar teacher or trusted adult, if you feel more comfortable with this.

Should you wish to speak to a an adviser on our advice line, please feel free to contact the Family Right's Group advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.00 pm.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie

[littleme]

Hi Suzie

Thank you for your reply and i have an update. On Friday 10 October SW phoned me to let me know that she had been into the school where no. 2 & 3 are and they were interviewed with their HT present. From this meeting she said there were no concerns. She had interviewed no. 1 at her school that morning (even though she said she would let me know beforehand and didnt) and her form teacher was present. She said there were no concerns raised regarding child protection but she was a little concerned that when she asked no. 1 who she would go to if she needed help or was upset, she said she did not know as mummy and daddy are always really busy. I took the criticism on the chin and thanked her for passing on the information but is this going to be looked at badly on her assessment???

I asked her when we were likely to get the assessment from her and she said as she was so busy probably late next week early the week after - great! Keep us hanging on a thread!! We are also trying to establish a meeting with our SEN assessor and the school as no. 2 child (with a SEN statement and CP) has been having a lot of accidents at the school and we are worried about her safety. I invited SW to attend the meeting if she wanted to but she said it was not her remit.

So we are just waiting for the assessment report now, hoping for the best but fearing for the worst!

Thank you for your replies and help, they have meant alot

LM

[littleme]

Ok so still nothing from Social worker - no assessment has been received!!

So we have to wait and not get on with our lives!! Im furious with our treatment. We've cancelled our half term holiday as we wanted to wait and see what the SW comes back with - why do they have the power to leave families in limbo?

[Dawny11]

I sympathise with your situation it's shocking how much power these people have given the fact that they sometimes appear to have no idea what they are doing. We as parents are supposed to stick to deadlines and cooperate fully or we risk losing our children but they can miss deadlines and not stick to their word but nothing happens to them. It really infuriates me how they can leave families in limbo. They say they are there to protect children but to be honest they seem to cause families so much stress it makes the families worse off. Good luck x

[littleme]

6 months from the 'incident' and i have still not heard anything from Children's Services. Spoke to main office and they couldn't find the case as it has been closed - thanks for letting us know CS!!!

I chased the SW and the manager again as i want to see the report and get formal notice that investigations into my family are closed. When this whole nightmare began the social worker kept on telling me that a process had been started and nothing could stop it and i had to let them intrude until the process was finished, so why can they not keep to deadlines and just forget to finish off the process because they feel like it.

Want to complain but so scared of fighting them