Victim of a false allegation

[ledjan]

I need help and advice please. Here is my situation:

In March of this year I was arrested due to an allegation made by my son that I sexually abused him 5 or 6 years ago when he was 9 or 10. He claims "it was only one occasion but I am a really good dad"
His statement claims that we had only been back in touch about 6 weeks as we hadn't seen each other for a while due to a messy break up with his mother but that is not true we had a short break when he was 4 or 5 but it certainly wasn't for 5 years. We had had friends rounds having drinks and when they had gone I went upstairs to tuck him in "as he always did" and that I was very drunk and he had never seen me that drunk before. I cuddled in bed with him for approx 20 mins before the alleged attack took place which also lasted approx 20mins.
Due to my new partner having children I was forced immediately to live separately whilst the investigation took place.
In July the Crown Prosecution made the decision of NFA (No further action) and the police had no further interest in me.
Social services from then on have been a nightmare.....I am still living separately and have no contact with my partners children at their request. They wanted my partner to end the relationship with myself from day 1 because I was an un-assessed risk. After requesting it several times they agreed to fund sexual risk assessments on me which I was glad to take. Now the report is due to come back they have spoke to my partner claiming that due to my sons interview "being credible" it wouldn't be manageable for me to return back home with my partner so she has to make a decision. If she doesn't make the decision to end our relationship they threaten legal action. The report shows that I don't have any incest interests but due to me only having contact back with him for apparently only 6 weeks that bond between us wouldn't have been there. It was also brought up that due to me being happiest when I have lots of sex (one question asked during assessments) that poses as a negative against me. Also they mentioned that if I was that drunk maybe I mistook who I was in bed with and it did happen and I couldn't remember the following day
My partner feels like she has been given no option at all by social services and she has to make the decision to end it (even though she doesn't want to) even though she knows I am not capable of such a horrific action.
My whole life has been ripped apart affecting everything (family, friends, job, etc etc)

Is there anything I can do to fight this?
If you need anymore details please ask.

[eng65]

ledjan

You’re not on your own i went through a similar situation with my son when he was 29, who accused me of abusing him when he was 5. I was not arrested but questioned and no charges were brought against me. Yes shock and horror show made me really ill i could not eat knocked me for six my son who i help raise does this to me! How vicious could he be, he is no more part of my life, since he abuse his sister my daughter and still got a not guilty in court even thought the abuse of his sister lasted 3 years and he tried to kill me literally.

What is left now is the stigma of being accused, even though there is no evidence to support this. An allegation is hard to prove, hard to disprove that's where the situation rests the uncertainty. My son it came out was abusing his 11 year old sister before he's allegations against me came out. In his statement to the police as a 5 year old child, there were times given by him like 7:30 at night, yeah 24 ears later he remembered times.

Like you he wanted to hurt me and what other way is there to do this. I think you should tell others to give it up because they are now letting it destroy what should be. Yes social services will forever hold an opinion against you and that is set in stone.

5. Independent Facts Which Lead To an Allegation:

The situations that create false allegations depending upon circumstances, for example:

A. False allegations have been made by mothers who desire to gain the upper hand in a custody battle.

B. Teen age children have alleged abuse to get the disciplinarian father out of the house.

C. School age children will fabricate abuse after observing "Good Touch, Bad Touch" type films at school.

D. Children know more about sex than our society is willing to recognize. They are bombarded with sexual overtones through the movies, magazines and advertisements.

E. Some children make false allegations for attention.

F. Some children make false allegations after hearing about real sexual abuses that have occurred to friends or classmates.

http://familyrightsassociation.com/bin/ ... se_sex.htm

[ledjan]

Eng65

Sorry to hear you have been a victim of this horror too. I am looking for a way to clear my name and return to my partner but with my son withholding his word and me not being able to prove I'm innocent I can't because she has young children. I cant see a way forward at the minute?

Ledjan.

[ange301126]

Dear Ledjan, I might be able to suggest a way forward if you tell us a little bit more.
Do the Local Authority have some sort of order or are they just threatening to take your wife's children should she reunite with you or if you have unsupervised contact with the children?
Were you allowed to participate in the initial child-protection conference aswell as all follow-ups and do you have the minutes? Were you and your partner permitted to express disagreements and have them circulated amongst all the professionals before the conference?

[ledjan]

Hi Ange301126

There are no orders in place we are just doing everything the social services have asked of us hoping that this would all get sorted (being naive I guess)
They have told us that if my partner doesn't make the right decision by the next meeting they will seek legal advise.
When I was arrested the children were only put on a CIN plan (child in need) because they trusted her decisions that she wouldn't allow access for me to her children - this was part of my bail conditions anyway so it was a given. When the investigation came back as a NFA the CIN plan had already been removed and the SS had closed the case. She phoned the SS as soon as the case was dropped as a courtesy and informed them that we were going to try and rekindle our relationship. Within 2 weeks we we back at case conference and the children were placed on a child protection plan.
I was invited to attend the conference as we were representing as a couple. However on the initial conference we only received the reports that morning. on the next conference (3 monthly one) we never received the reports as the social worker "forgot" to drop them off for us. As the assessments on myself were still underway they have kept the children on the plan and we meet again in January.
My assessments we completed 2 weeks ago and the "independent" assessor has been and spoken to my partner telling her that he will be advising that it is not manageable for me to return to the home so she has a decision to make. He has gone quite into detail with her what he will be putting in his report which she has relayed back to me.
The report will be posted to the SS on the 28th November (Friday) and then to us once she has confirmed she has received it. (mon or tue I hope) then we have a core group on the Friday.
From what the assessor has said to my partner I have already picked out mistakes to key negatives he is putting forward.
Yes we have the notes of the meeting and yes there were monthly core group meetings but they were a waste of time as they always just said they had no concerns with the children, no concerns with the mothers ability to protect and no concerns with the fact I was complying with all their requests.
They were never interested in what I had to say and at one meeting I was told point blank "this isn't about you its about the children"
My partner is at breaking point and feels she has no option but to end it as she will not risk her children any further with them.
I am about to lose everything !!

Ledjan

[heartbrokenfather]

ledjan: Your situation is quite different to mine, But some of what you have said is also so close, and I must admit I am wondering if we are dealing with the same local authority.

At this point in time I am unable and unwilling to name my local authority, as my crown court trail is due to start very soon, and I don't want to take any risks of the local authority putting more undue pressure on my wife and or children.

Regarding your questions, I have never been able to be in the same meeting(s) as my wife, as the local authority have always made excuses to why, being that the local authority view is that I am controlling and abusive, or they don't want me in the same room, or that my wife states she does not want me in the same room.

So this means that I never get 1st hand knowledge of what is said in the meetings on I get told after the meetings by the social worker or chair, or read the minutes if and or when I get a copy.

At the end of the last review child protection conference I was told that my wife does not want to see me, have anything to do with me, and will be starting divorce proceedings.

More details of this can be found on my own posts here: Removed from family home by Police & Children Services

I really wish I could give you some advice on what to do, but to tell the truth I don't know myself.

Best Regards.

[ledjan]

heartbrokenfather,

I think because the allegation was made by my son who lives with my ex they have allowed us to keep in touch as long as she doesn't allow me access to her children. She has been a rock for me and knows whole heart I am not capable of such an action. Even before my assessments were complete the SS were already talking to my partner about support for her heartbreaking decision she will HAVE to make !! They can be so cruel at times and feels like a witch hunt from them.

I wish you luck

ledjan

[eng65]

Ledjan,

This is a difficult nut to crack and the only thing that would change this, is for your son to retract his allegation against you. It does not matter to the S/workers you are seen as a risk, guilty until proven innocent.

eng65

[ange301126]

Dear Ledjan, A tough nut to crack indeed and I think both of you have learnt that if you continue to try and persuade and/or cooperate with the CS ,you will get absolutely nowhere.You won't move things forward.

Having said that, we have to show full respect to those who say cooperate at all times.Opinions do differ.

Actually,it was a bit of a hint for you ,in my opinion ,when the social worker said it's no longer about you ,it's about the children.

You are already in the clear! The disagreement now is between your partner and the CS.

You are innocent but they are telling her that because an allegation has been made ,her children will be at significant risk if she takes up with you again. This attitude of theirs should not be set in stone at all. Such serious decisions cannot be based on allegations , it is against the law.Such serious sanctions can only be applied if the allegations can be shown to be from an apparently credible ( reliable) source, from what i have read , and until that happens you should not be treated as guilty especially when you haven't even been charged. The findings of the Police investigation,in any reasonable person's view , show unarguably that the allegations are from an apparently uncredible ( unreliable) source.

However,can't you see,it's futile telling them that. The only way your partner can get them off her back is by appealing to a court. In my opinion,she has already lost the battle by cooperating and she should work out a way of getting matters before a court. However ,cooperate with the separation until you get a court decision as they are probably hoping you will reunite which is why they are asking her to sign a written agreement.

If you choose to continue to continue working with them,(it may or may not be naive), then Suzie will be able to give you lots of links to specialist organisations who can help you. You will have to judge the liklihood of them changing their minds.I suggest there isn't a lot.Why don't you ask your partner to come on to the forum?

[ledjan]

Hi Ange301126

From what they are saying My son's allegation comes across as credible but lack of evidence and the facts that his story does not match his girlfriends (He made the allegation to her - who told her mother - who told the school - who told the police) The police interviewed my son then interviewed his girlfriend and the two didn't match even though it is documented they met the night before her interview to "get their stories straight".

I know I am in the clear but as they keep telling me I will always have a question mark above my head because of this. I even asked if I was to move on and form another relationship with someone who has children where does that leave me and their response was that they weren't bothered as long as I didn't get reported to them again.

I strongly believe that if we do make the final break in our relationship that come January her children will be taken off the CPP because they have never had any reason to disbelieve her and she has always acted appropriately.

As for her pushing it to court I don't think that is an option for her as she doesn't want anymore interference from SS with her children as they have been through enough and it is also putting her career at risk as she works with children (Nurse)

I will ask her to join the forum and she can have an input too.

Thank you for your help and input too ange301126 I really appreciate it.