unborn child with another as LAC

[amandrix20]

I have a 5 year old who is a looked after child with his grandparents and have 4 weeks until another is born. The social have come in and basically are using the concerns from my 5yo case this time round even though they cant be proved. With my 5yo father there was DV, drug and alcohol abuse (both by him) and he is a gambling addict. Now they are trying to put this child on the register for potential abuse and neglect due to concerns of DV even though me and my new OH are in a brilliant relationship. Ive been told that they are concerned with OH playing games all the time as they asked his hobbies.

Now to top everything off they have went into family to see what kind of support we have and then took what my cousin told them and twisted it then told OH family there version. Some of the stuff that they were told by my family was not stuff I want everyone knowing as its to do with my childhood. Surely they can do that? The whole thing has done nothing but put extra stress on me, I'm already being monitored due to previous preeclampsia. Ive also took a year out from my degree to focus on proving that I'm a different person and that I deserve a second chance.

I know this is basically a rant but I don't know where else to turn anymore and its getting to much now.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Amandrix20

Welcome to the Family Rights Group Parents’ Forum.

My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group.

I am really very sorry that you are having a such a stressful time at this stage of your pregnancy because of the involvement of Children Services.

In relation to your pregnancy and the concerns raised by children services, as your son was removed from your care it is normal procedure for them to carry out an investigation to ensure that the same problems that existed previously have been resolved or no longer exist. Both you and your partner should cooperate with the assessment being carried out and this will be the best way to get a good outcome for you and your baby.

You say in your post that there is no proof that the same concerns exist now but children services have to carry out their own assessment to ensure that this is the case. The assessment will help to decide whether you are able to care for the baby when he or she arrives; what plan should be in place once the baby is born; or it could be that there are no concerns to prevent you having your baby home. A pre birth planning meeting may already have taken place so you will know what is expected of you and your partner.

If you partner spends a lot of time playing games (it is not clear what type of games) whether computer or something else, this could be of concern when looking after a baby or supporting you to do so. He should be available to provide support for you.

It is very good that the relationship you are now in does not feature domestic violence as with your previous partner and this will be in your favour. However, it appears that there may be a concern which is why other family members have been contacted. Did you and your partner provide details of family members to the social worker? If you have not had one you could ask the social worker to arrange a Family Group Conference so that all family members who can provide help and support will be involved and the family can agree a safe plan for the baby. I have included here our advice sheet about Family Group Conferences.

With regard to the social worker disclosing your personal information to your partner’s family, this is wrong as she should not do so without our permission. You could make a complaint about what the social worker has done by writing to his or her team manager in the first instance.

I would advise you to cooperate fully with the process. The social worker will take into account what happened in the past but should look at your current circumstances and where you are now rather than relying on only historical information. There is a link to a copy of our advice sheet on child protection procedures which will give you detailed information about the process.

You may also wish to look at the frequently asked questions on our website for more information.

If you wish to speak with an adviser, you can telephone our free advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m Monday to Friday.

I hope you will find this information helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie