advice needed..

[mermaid29]

Hi I'm new to the group..

I don't know where to start...

So last march I had a cp plan closed for myself and my 3 boys .. This cp plan had come about as my bf at the time had a background. Check as I was involved with social services I had only been with my bf at the time then for around 6 months about two weeks later the social worker came to my house unannounced with another social worker I hadn't met they took my then bf into my back garden and spoke to him with out explanation ..he then left my home promptly after he spoke to social worker

I was very confused .. The social workers had then told me that my then bf had allegations. Of assault and sexual abuse to a minor on him I was in shock as I wasn't aware of these allegations I was asked lots of questions about how he was round my children and if he had been left alone with them .. I was then asked to sign a contract that said I wouldn't have him near my house and kids this was a contract that lasted two weeks but they seemed to add weeks when they wanted to .. Still feeling confused I signed contract and wasn't given anymore. Info on the allegations when the social workers had left my home I rang my then bf and asked him what was said to him and asked what was going on he said he didn't know of these allegations. Or where they come from he was as confused as I was

As time went on with the case it came to light the allegations where made by the bfs sister whom has mental health issues and told a teacher at her school that her brother had attacked her weeks before she decided to tell anyone and sexually abused her as a 6 yr old but wouldn't go into detail just left it at that these allegations. Where made 4 mths before. I had got into a relationship. With the bf the sister at this time was 17 and then turned 18 the mth after .. The school reported this to social services but nothing was done ..untill he was background checked when in a relationship with me I was still in a relationship with the bf as there was no proof of these allegations but the relationship. Ended as I was told if I didn't end the relationship with him the social services would take my boys from me .. The case lasted 11 months in all I was criticized I was watched I was told I was a bad mum I was made to do workshops and had to jump through every hoop they held out having mental health myself they would pick on that even tho I haven't been on meds for yrs ..

Whilst I had social services. On my back they only visited. The bf and his sister once in the whole 11 months I also had 6 different. Social workers from start to finish of case

To date its been 18 months since I was told of allegations. And the case been closed and since then I have become pregnant with only 3 days left to my due date

At 27 weeks pregnant I had a social worker come to my door wanting to know who the baby's dad was as I hadn't told anyone who the dad was ... I couldn't keep it in any longer I told her it was the ex bf he had told me allegations had been dropped and was safe to meet up with him well one thing lead to another and here we are the situation is now that because he had lied about allegations being dropped. And they are actually. Still on him me and my boys and unborn baby are on a child in need he's still not allowed to have contact with my boys but is allowed to be at the birth of baby I had a cin meeting on 12th Feb basically. They said he can be at birth and he needs to be assessed by. Nspcc social worker has. Been saying he needs assessment since I was 27weeks pregnant. And still hasn't filled in the paperwork or even been in contact with baby's dad and there is nothing in place for contact after I have given birth but I'm expected. To go on all toddler groups ect I have to point out this is my 5th baby also the ex bfs parents have said these allegations are false the whole time and the sister has wrote to social services and told them they are false information what can I do about this thank you for reading

Mermaid29

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mermaid 29

Welcome to Family Rights Group Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie and I am an Adviser at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you are having such a worrying and difficult time at this stage of your pregnancy due to Children Services involvement with you at this time.

You say in your post that your children were removed from a Child Protection Plan. The decision was taken because you had agreed that you would no longer associate with your boyfriend whom Children Services considered a risk to your children. I should explain that Children Services have a duty to ensure that children are being brought up in a safe environment and will not suffer harm. This harm can be physical, emotional or psychological. As your boyfriend had allegations of assault and sexual abuse made against him this would have raised concerns with Children Services.

Although you were not happy with the situation you were able to put your children’s needs first and cooperated with Children Services.
As you are now pregnant by the boyfriend who you agreed not to see and did not inform Children Services of that you had resumed your relationship with him will be a cause of concern. However, it appears that they have agreed to him attending at the birth and to carry out a risk assessment. You say this assessment was recommended sometime ago but nothing has happened. It is not clear whether there is now a child protection plan in place for your children and your unborn child. Children Services maybe concerned at your lack of openness and your boyfriend dishonesty in telling you that the case had been resolved.

Regarding the allegations made by your boyfriend’s sister, it is not for Children Services to investigate this as it is a matter for the police. Whether or not the police decide to go ahead with the case does not mean that Children Services will not be involved. The police and Children Services are looking at different issues and they will need to consider that all the children are not at risk of significant harm in your care. I am including a copy of our advice sheet relating to child protection procedures for your information.

Unfortunately, it does often happen that due to staff leaving or other reasons social workers do change for an ongoing case. Therefore, it cannot always be avoided to change social workers.

The best thing would be for you and your boyfriend to get in touch with the social worker, preferably in writing, stating that you want to cooperate and work with Children Services and your children’s welfare is your main concern. Also, that you would like written confirmation of when the assessment will be started and what their expectations are from both of you if you wish to remain a couple. In the letter you can explain that you are not at this stage making a formal complaint but wish to move forward and have any assessments that need to be carried done. . I suggest that you keep a copy of the letter.

If you do not get a response, you may wish to consider making a formal complaint and our advice sheet about complaints is included here

I suggest that you continue to cooperate and engage with Children Services and your boyfriend should do the same. This will be the best way to work towards the outcome you wish to have.

I hope you find the information helpful but should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open. Monday to Friday from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

Best wishes

Suzie

[mermaid29]

Thank you for the warm welcome to the group Suzie and for replying to my post

The only time police was involved is in. My first conference. Meeting as I was told it makes the meeting official. They had no concerns. And no criminal records on my boyfriend or myself

He's never been charged or anything. Like that regarding these allegations. The social services. Don't talk about the assault allegation more the sexual abuse one even tho at the time of this alleged incident my boyfriend. Would of only been 11 years old and his parents. Are adamant that these allegations. Are false ..

Writing. Letters to the social services doesn't seem to get us anywhere

Although. I have been told I am not a risk to my children and unborn baby and social worker has told me she does not want to take any of the children from me I still feel like I am going to have to prove myself all over again

Mermaid29