Advice needed

[TempN]

In need of some advice.
I'm currently dating a registered sex offender (don't judge me) when he was 21 he dated a girl who lied about her age and said she was 16, she was in fact 14 and when he found out he ended it and she told the police because he wouldn't get back with her. He was sentenced to 4 years and life on the sex offenders register in 2012. He was released dec 2014 on licence after serving 2 years. I got with him in January this year. I have a 5 year old daughter who he hasn't had any contact with. Would there be a chance social services would get involved and take my child away from me if I continue a relationship with this man. He won't be having contact with my daughter until the end of 2016 when his probation is up. I can see a real future with this man and I love him but if it's going to jepodise custody of my child then I'd have to end it and I'd rather do that now than a year or two down the line.
Is there a way that I can have both this man and my child in my life

[Murray72]

Hi,
I think it would be realistic to expect CS to be involved at some level and to complete an assessment of risk, the fact they have not yet contacted you means either yourself or your partner have not been entirely open, as a registered sex offender your partner has a level of responsibility placed upon him, and that would include informing the authorities he is in a relationship and that you have a 5 year old child (regardless of the fact he has yet to meet the child) CS will want to ensure that you know the full facts regarding your partners conviction and that you can keep your child safe from him.

Your partner received a hefty sentence and was found guilty in a criminal court, that means "beyond all reasonable doubt" , I would give serious consideration to choosing a life with a sex offender, your child and your relationship will be wide open to scrutiny, CS will probe into every area of your child's life and they will probably speak to Grandparents and the child's father, the school or nursery.

And you have to be realistic, your partner will probably re-offend.

There are some cases where sex offenders have been allowed to live with children and these are only after one or both parents have attended intense therapy and in-depth assessments with regards to risk of re-offending. There are some local authorities that allow sex offenders to take polygraph tests to prove they are no longer attracted to children. These can be requested regularly and with little notice.

Whichever path you choose good luck.

[TempN]

he declared our relationship at the start and I had his sex offending officer come to my house to make sure I knew the details of his crime and they said social services would be in touch in a few days to do an assessment but that was 3 months ago and we have heard nothing off them.

My child's farther has not been involved in her life for over 2 years so I see no reason why they would involve him when he can't even be bothered to see his child.

[Murray72]

Hi,
I am not sure how it would work with an absent parent but if he is on the birth certificate then he share parental responsibility with you for the child, so it would not be unreasonable for him to be contacted if your case was to proceed. If you are wishing to advance your relationship with your new partner then I would suggest he asks his sex offender manager to do another referral and contact CS again.
If you are pro-active with CS and have already set boundaries then you are one step ahead and this should support your ability to protect your child in the future.

They may ask you to sign an agreement with them, if they do I would suggest you do not break this agreement in anyway, this is usually the first step with CS trusting you, if this agreement is broken this will come back to haunt you at every stage. ( I speak from experience here).

Stick to agreements, fully cooperate and be honest with them.

Good luck