How much does he have to contribute?

[Bee*]

The kids father (well, father to 3/4 of them) and I are both unemployed right now. I have them 5 days a week, and he has them on weekends, and over for tea one night a week. He doesn't contribute anything to the kids being raised other than that he feeds them at his house (and they have a bed there and stuff) and buys them presents on birthdays and Christmas, except for the occasional new toy or outfit. He has never paid child support or anything.

My social worker has told us that he shouldn't be expected to pay anything towards the children, because I am the one who gets the child benefit, and as long as they have food, a bed and toys at his house, he has done his job.

This has come up a few times recently. For the first week of the holidays, the kids went to summer holiday club at a different school that is a bit further away. I expected he would help me with the costs, but the social worker told me it was my responsibility to pay for it and he shouldn't have to put money towards paying for it, even his own bus ticket for picking them up. On the first day of it, I asked him if he could pay for the first day (think it was about £6) because I had no money on me until the day after. He said no, he couldn't (my brother in law ended up paying for it), because he spent all of his money last night buying food for the kids (but his Facebook page said he was out drinking).

Then the kids dad, the social worker and I sat down and worked out a plan for the rest of the summer holidays, for taking the kids out. She said I would have to pay for all costs, even things he is taking them to. There was one time I told him that he would have to pay for an activity, because I had just bought loads of school uniform for the kids and spent a bit more than I expected, and he said he couldn't pay for it, so they couldn't go, and what about the one school dress he bought one kid? She could just wear that. They ended up being taken by my sister.

She does not seem to realise that he is not as poor as he makes out to be-his house has two widescreen TV's, he bought a PS4 a few months after they came out, he has his own laptop as well as a few others he can plop the kids down in front of to distract them while he plays video games, he has a collection of remote control cars, and he once took one of the kids to the cinema because he only had one kid one day because the others wanted to spend Saturday with my sister who had just come up to visit, and he took the middle two to see a movie once, but now the social worker has told him I should have to pay for him taking the kids out, he will ask me for money for everything.

My friends say I shouldn't pay for him to take the kids out, he should either only take them to free things, or save his money wisely and not spend it on himself so he can take the kids out for a treat, and are surprised he doesn't pay child support or anything, but the social worker doesn't see it that way. Who is right?

Am I obligated to fund him taking the kids out?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Beth

I am sorry that you are having a difficult time with the children’s father and his failure to make any maintenance payment for them.

It seems to me that if the father was unable to feed the children when they are with him then it would be fair to ask you to contribute from the child benefit to provide food for them. The social worker is wrong to say that because you are in receipt of child benefit you should pay for activities which the father does with the children. If he is taking them out it is his responsibility to pay for it.

As you say you are unemployed at present if, even with the child benefit and other benefits, you are finding it difficult financially, you could ask Children Services to carry out an assessment of the children as being in need. If the assessment find them to be children in need then Children Services can give financial support for the children. I am including here for your information a copy of our advice sheet relating to the support family and friends carers are entitled to receive from Children Services.

You could also go your Local Authority’s website to check their policy on family and friends carers. The policy may also be referred to as kinship care or connected person policy. This should set out how Children Services help those who are caring for someone else’s child.

I hope you will find this advice helpful but should you wish to speak to an Adviser, please do telephone our free advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

Best wishes,

Suzie